Need to be kept accountable to help meet goals

[scorch]

Hi everyone.

So as some of you know I suffer from depression and anxiety.  I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but as anyone who has a mental illness knows, it can sometimes be very difficult to get your butt into gear and do what needs doing,

I am often overcome by feelings of worthlessness and that I am a failure.  I know that these feelings are lying to me, I AM precious and beautiful and worth so much!  I HAVE accomplished many things and will continue to do... but you know, the feelings can still drag you down sometimes.

Anywho... I've been talking to my husband (who is remarkably understanding and patient with my erratic behavior/mood swings) and we've decided to set some goals for us to aim for, so that we can reach our MEGA GOAL which is to undergo IVF treatment and hopefully start a family.

I have PCOS which is a genetic disorder that means it is incredibly difficult to have children.  It also has about a zillion other side effects including high risk of depression, higher risk of diabetes plus plenty of physical effects all which make me feel like a hideous freak who is hardly a woman at all. We've been trying to have kids for 5 years now, but all treatments have come to naught.  We will have to undergo IVF, but it is a long process that costs heaps of money... and we just don't have the funds.  This kind of set us both back and over the last year or so we've been sitting stagnant on the kid's issue and it's been negatively affecting our marriage.

So the other night we decided enough was enough.  We have to get serious about having kids, which means working towards our MEGA GOAL. 

We're going to attack this on two fronts.  First, my husband is trying to pick up some extra work as a security guard as well as his normal day job.  Any money he makes from that is going straight into a special 'baby making' bank account.  He's also been putting aside a little each week for the last couple of years, but now we're hoping to boost that.  I am also putting a little from my wage into the account too.  It's already a struggle for us financially, but we'll make it work because this is something we really want.

The second part of our goal is for me to lose a whole lot of weight so that I'll be in prime fitness when we can finally undergo treatment.  I have to lose about 40kg.  I know that sounds like a lot, but I'm really heavy even though I look like I weigh a lot less  (thank goodness!)

This is where you guys come in.  Because of my depression, I struggle to start things.  It's hard to get out of bed in the morning, so it's really hard to summon the energy to hop on the treadmill and do a workout. 

I've got a home setup of a cheapo treadmill and a rowing/cycling machine, so I've got easy access to equipment and no excuses.  

So it it's not too much trouble, will someone touch base with me once or twice a week to keep me accountable and make sure I'm actually exercising and eating healthily?   Does anyone else need to lose weight and want me to help keep you accountable and on track?  Is there a whole bunch of us that want to get healthier and we could all keep each other accountable?

I hope that some people will think this is a good idea.  When we share the load we can go further than we ever could on our own.

[scorch]

Upright, that's a good way to be.  At least you're still managing to do some cardio, hopefully your niggles will clear up soon and you'll be back to doing what you most love.

My weigh in did happen, and as predicted I didn't lose any weight.  I didn't really gain though either, which was a surprise.  I have had a few cheat meals this past week and I thought they would have made me put on a bit.  

I've managed one day of exercise so far, I did about 1 1/5 hours on the bike/rower on Monday afternoon.  I've started doing my exercise in the afternoon or evening because I just can't seem to fit it in during the morning.

Tuesday was a write off, I am coming down with the flu and I just dropped off to sleep when I got home.  And yesterday I went out to the pictures with my hubby and a couple of mates and didn't get home until 12:30.  I have training tonight, so exercise is out... but I'm not doing anything over Fri/Sat - so we'll see what happens.

I'll let you know next week.  I won't be able to check the forums until Tuesday.  Sometimes it sucks not having an internet connection at home... but most of the time I'm glad I don't have that distraction.   

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorch

Just checking in with you.

I'm away from the gym and am missing it - however the thing is, my niggles aren't going away.  The trouble with me is when I go and do something, I can't go 'half measures' - meaning, over the weekend I've been doing stuff in the garden and we've got this hideous bunch of melaluka type trees down the back - so I've been pruning, sawing and getting them down.

All pretty hard yakka - and what we wanna do is get 'em totally out so we can replace them with some really nice bottlebrushes.

So though I'm not at the gym, I'm not possibly resting my niggles like a normal person would - swining a pick-axe to dig deep and cut through roots, then shovel it out - all the while, trying to keep the 'girls' - my daughters 4 chooks at a safe distance - they are LOVING this digging caper - exposing all kinds of yummy treats for them.

So it's mid-morning and I've come in for a break, so why not grab a coffee and jump onto Beyond Blue to check in for the day.

I hope that your easter break is going well.

Cheers

Neil

[scorch]

Hmm, I can see why your niggles aren't going away as fast as they could.  My hubby is the same as you, he does everything at full pace even if he's got an injury.

I just hope you're taking care of yourself and not doing any more damage.

Easter break was ok, didn't really get any rest.  I've got a chest infection/flu type thing that is really frustrating me.  I've come to work today, but I've got a feeling I'll be pretty useless.

I only got a couple of days exercise over the weekend, but I did spend some time on Friday and Saturday chopping wood so at least I haven't been sitting on my bum all the time. 

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorch  

Chopping wood – damn fine exercise option.  Which speaks to me that you have a wood fire for your winters?   We do too, but at present, we’re very light on for wood – it’s that major initial expense of getting wood.  I went and foraged last year for wood from a mate’s property and for the time and effort it took it really didn’t seem to be justifiable when I looked at how little it rewarded me with.  But once set up, you really can’t beat a wood fire, especially on a cold night and there’s rain on the roof.  Something quite magical about that.  

Getting sick like that is never good – so just take it very easy and do all you can to get through the coming days – plenty of fluid is a must. 

Don’t be concerned about any workouts at this time – just focus and getting yourself over the lurgy.  

Be kind to myself – yes, that’s something I need to take more seriously.  Yes indeed.  

Neil  

[scorch]

Yes we have a wood fire heater.  It's glorious!  I've spent a lot of time this week cuddled up in front of it, wishing I could just get over this darn sickness that's made it's home in my chest and throat.  I'm still no better, and it's been almost a week now.

I've watched so many DVDs and played so many board games, I'm starting to get cabin fever....  I keep looking at the exercise bike just wanting to jump on, but any effort leaves me breathless and weak at the moment.

I've still managed to lose a kilo, but that's mainly because I haven't been able to keep a whole lot of food down 😞

How are you Neil?  Are you on the mend?

[Neil_1]

Dear Scorch  

Oh wow, that’s not a good way to be for you at the moment – on top of what you’re already battling, to be struck down with some awful virus – that’s just not fair.   I guess we can view it with “one” positive – that you’ve managed to drop another kg, so that’s good eh?  

Am I on the mend – yes and no.  Yes, because during last week I somehow tweaked a calf muscle, which made me very limpy for a few days but over the latter part of the weekend it has slowly healed.  It’s funny isn’t it – if you have an injury (which in my lower part is my right glute/right hamstring and it pains), but then you receive another injury (ie:  the calf strain tenderness) and the pain from the calf region overtakes everything else.  The funny part is, once the calf pain subsides, you then realise that your glute/hamstring, the original source of discomfort is “still” there and is still achey.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  

Even though you’re not flash, still good to hear back from you Scorch.  Hope that you’re trying to drink loads of water, or something similar if you’re not overly into water.  That really is a great thing for helping to flush the baddies out of the body.  

Kind regards  

Neil

[scorch]

Hi Neil

Just a quick update to let you know of progress.

I've really struggled these last few weeks, and one of my struggles has been to muster enough energy to post on BB.  I've been reading so many posts but just seem unable to reply.

I'm finally getting over the lurgie, it really took a toll on me.  I haven't exercised in weeks, and my diet has slipped... I've been eating chips or hot jam donuts when I feel really cold.  Not every day, but more than once a week and it's getting me down.

I've managed to somehow lose another kilo, so that is the only positve.  It took me down past my first goal, so that was nice.  I think it must be because until last week I just couldn't manage to eat much or keep everything down.  Fingers crossed that I'll find time and energy to get back into a routine.  

I can't really gather myself to write much more.

I hope that you are better now, that all your tweaks are gone and that you are in a better place than when we last talked.

Please take care,

Scorch.

[Neil_1]

Hey Scorcher

Please accept my biggest and deepest apologies for not being here for you of late - there's no excuse on my behalf and I know you were hoping for me to be here, so I'm here now and hoping to make up for it.

How are things now?  When you last checked in, you were in the final throes I hope of getting over that lurgy.  They're bloody awful things to shake sometimes.

And amazingly I read too that you were able to still continue to drop weight off - your metabolism must be really firing very nicely.  And you were able to tick off another goal, yeah?  That is so pleasing.

So as you read this, I hope that you might be up for some gentle cardio sessions again.

It'll be good to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[scorch]

Hi Neil

It's ok, I understand.  I've not really been able to log on much lately in any case.  It's all seeming just a bit too hard.  I have been withdrawing from all sorts of contact including here online.  I haven't really been able to get back into a routine since I got sick, and I'm still fighting off the lingering effects of chest infection.  I think I had pneumonia, but I didn't get it checked out so I'm not sure.

I've done some exercise, but mainly through house work or training.  I did the first half of a road crash rescue course on the weekend, that was lots of lifting hydraulic equipment, carrying car parts and stretchers etc... so even though I'm not really getting onto the treadmill I'm still doing something.

I've put on a kilo though 😞 

I want to lose weight and get healthier, I just need to find my motivation again. 

I'm struggling with life right now.  Sometimes things just overwhelm me and I let myself and others down.

[Neil_1]

Hey there Scorch

Yes, it’s that season isn’t it – it just seems rife on here at the moment that so many of us are really struggling.  I wish it wasn’t so – but wishing sometimes just doesn’t work – well mostly it doesn’t work, hence why it’s called a wish.  I don’t even know where I’m going with this.  I’m really off the rails – sorry about this.

Hey, no sad face there though Scorchee – ok, so you put ON a kg – no, no need for a sad face there.  No happy face either, but definitely NOT sad – not when you go through all the pages in this thread and count up the number of times you’ve told me that you’ve lost a kilo – so you’re way in front.  That’s a huge credit to you.

Being ill can really throw a spanner in the works (oh and Neil, being injured can do just the same as well – yes, excellent point old boy, excellent point).  So it can take some time to get the motivation mojo back.  

We need something to ‘kick-start’ you again.  I know deep down that one of your big focusses for losing weight was so that you were to be in an ok shape for getting started with commencing a family, yeah?   I do remember rightly don’t I?  Or didn’t i?  🙂

Maybe we can slowly start to reintroduce some regular clean eating again – that is if you’re not doing it at present?  And also to try to slowly increase water intake again – just bit by bit, but have your bottle with you all the time. 

And yes, brilliant to be tidying/cleaning the house – that has two great benefits – you end up with a lovely clean and tidy house, but you’ve also exerted energy and thus have burnt off calories.  And the thing with exercise, especially if it’s done to a fairly reasonable level – it doesn’t stop working in your system, just because you do.  The body really is a fantastic piece of science. 

A really top cardio session can last and continue burning off calories long after you’ve finished that session.

So Scorch, I can see that we might (hopefully) be getting back on track with things.  I’ll be here for you.

Neil