Need to be kept accountable to help meet goals

[scorch]

Hi everyone.

So as some of you know I suffer from depression and anxiety.  I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but as anyone who has a mental illness knows, it can sometimes be very difficult to get your butt into gear and do what needs doing,

I am often overcome by feelings of worthlessness and that I am a failure.  I know that these feelings are lying to me, I AM precious and beautiful and worth so much!  I HAVE accomplished many things and will continue to do... but you know, the feelings can still drag you down sometimes.

Anywho... I've been talking to my husband (who is remarkably understanding and patient with my erratic behavior/mood swings) and we've decided to set some goals for us to aim for, so that we can reach our MEGA GOAL which is to undergo IVF treatment and hopefully start a family.

I have PCOS which is a genetic disorder that means it is incredibly difficult to have children.  It also has about a zillion other side effects including high risk of depression, higher risk of diabetes plus plenty of physical effects all which make me feel like a hideous freak who is hardly a woman at all. We've been trying to have kids for 5 years now, but all treatments have come to naught.  We will have to undergo IVF, but it is a long process that costs heaps of money... and we just don't have the funds.  This kind of set us both back and over the last year or so we've been sitting stagnant on the kid's issue and it's been negatively affecting our marriage.

So the other night we decided enough was enough.  We have to get serious about having kids, which means working towards our MEGA GOAL. 

We're going to attack this on two fronts.  First, my husband is trying to pick up some extra work as a security guard as well as his normal day job.  Any money he makes from that is going straight into a special 'baby making' bank account.  He's also been putting aside a little each week for the last couple of years, but now we're hoping to boost that.  I am also putting a little from my wage into the account too.  It's already a struggle for us financially, but we'll make it work because this is something we really want.

The second part of our goal is for me to lose a whole lot of weight so that I'll be in prime fitness when we can finally undergo treatment.  I have to lose about 40kg.  I know that sounds like a lot, but I'm really heavy even though I look like I weigh a lot less  (thank goodness!)

This is where you guys come in.  Because of my depression, I struggle to start things.  It's hard to get out of bed in the morning, so it's really hard to summon the energy to hop on the treadmill and do a workout. 

I've got a home setup of a cheapo treadmill and a rowing/cycling machine, so I've got easy access to equipment and no excuses.  

So it it's not too much trouble, will someone touch base with me once or twice a week to keep me accountable and make sure I'm actually exercising and eating healthily?   Does anyone else need to lose weight and want me to help keep you accountable and on track?  Is there a whole bunch of us that want to get healthier and we could all keep each other accountable?

I hope that some people will think this is a good idea.  When we share the load we can go further than we ever could on our own.

[Neil_1]

Another kg gawn!!!

WHOO HOO and way to go Scorch, Scorchey, Scorcher!  I'm so excited, I'm making up 'pet names' for you ... silly me ... I think I need some coffee or something;  most probably 'something'!!

That is so incredibly AWESOME Scorch.  I'm so pleased and happy for you.  As Geoff says, GO GIRL.

Oh and slight deviation here:   Hey Geoff, way to go my man, LOVE your new pic that you've put up.

Another two to go ... they "may" begin to get a little tougher now, they "may", but I'm here with you every step of the way, and I expect your hubby is just as pleased and excited as you are as well.

Brilliant Scorch.  🙂

Neil

[scorch]

Oh, you're right, Geoff has put a new pic up!  Looking good Geoff!  🙂

thanks Neil, I don't think coffee is what you need... definitely 'something' instead lol.  i'm ok with the pet names too, having earned the nicknames 'hamster' and 'hermit crab' at school - I think scorchey and scorcher are much better.

I'm starting to notice that the exercise is becoming harder to do - I thought it would go the other way.  I don't know if it's because I'm changing up the settings, going for longer, or if I'm just tired because I haven't been sleeping well lately.  Yesterday's workout was a real drag, but I still managed an hour of cycling and rowing. Just. 

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorch

This is great ... the feedback you're giving is brilliant.

You are very correct in saying that you thought the exercise should become easier.  It "should", but it doesn't because we raise the bar to the next level of effort and so what we thought was to become easier, still needs us to dig deep to conquer that next level.  IF you kept the level to where you started then absolutely, you'd nail that training session with ease - however, your body would plateau then and think "Yes, this person isn't going to make me push myself any harder and so I win".   But oh no body, we ARE going to make you push, so we CAN get to the next level.

Gee, I hope that made sense ... cause it's quite serious and important really.  The body will only do what's necessary and will take shortcuts to find the easiest path for doing things.

In a way, when we're exercising we're pushing our bodies out of our comfort zones.  The same way that we have to push ourselves/our minds out of its comfort zone when trying to deal with our mental illness.

So yes Scorch, keep changing things up and I hope that your sleeping patterns take a turn for the better soon.  I know I can be tired as anything, but without my night time medication I wouldn't go to sleep.

One last thing - pat yourself on the back BIG time - this refers to you saying that last session was a real drag, but you still persisted and got through an hour's workout!  Massive kudos to you Scorch - that's brilliant determination and you truly are focussed on this.  I'm really proud of you.

Kind regards

Neil

[scorch]

Neil, I love your analogy comparing physical exercise to our struggle with mental illness.  It can be so hard to push ourselves to do what we need to do, but it's important that we keep going.  Your words encourage me to keep going with my mental struggle as well and not get complacent.

thanks for the kudos, I'm kind of embarrassed to get praise because theres so much more I need to do... but I'm trying to learn to accept compliments, so thank you Neil.  thank you.

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorch

Are you still continuing with the cooking practice, of ‘bulk cooking’ and freezing meal portions, etc?  Is that going ok?

Also with the exercise that you’re doing, may I please ask that you have a new or at least a relatively new pair of runners that you’re exercising in?  This is very important – not only comfort for the foot, but the entire body because it’s all interlinked and poor shoes (and believe it or not, socks as well) can not only cause troubles for your feet, but for your legs and even more importantly, your back and spine.  Not meaning to scare at all here, but just wanting to tick this off so we don’t run into any possible troubles down the track a little bit.

Can I ask with regard to the treadie … do you generally set it at one kind of pace for the majority of your session?  You know, like you will obviously ease into it, and increase the rating bit by bit, till you get to a certain point where you feel that this is “ok” to handle? 

What I’m getting at here is, that if you do know of this particular setting where it’s a good fit for you – pace-wise, then we can start to play around with things a little.

For example – say if your pace setting that you feel good with is at level 6.0.  I would like you to drop that to 5.8 (and leave that alone now – this is the pace you’ll be going – if you feel that the drop of .2 isn’t enough, perhaps for the first session of this, take it back to 5.5). 

So let’s go with 5.5.   Walk for 1 minute, then on the elevation button, raise it to Level 1.  Walk for 1 minute, elevation raise to Level 2.  Walk for one minute and raise it again. 

Get to Level 5 and do for one minute THEN begin to reduce your level – by one minute at a time, all the way back down to zero. 

This will be 11 minutes – and so if that felt ok, you could give it a go for a 2nd time or just do the 11 minute session and then perhaps just stay on ground zero and then play around with the speed for a while.  Totally up to you.

Hope that made sense.

Kind regards

Neil

ps:  compliments are a positive - a good thing, no, they're a GREAT thing.  And yes, please learn to accept them.  Write them down, print them out and keep them close by.  They are "lifters".  Use them as a helping tool for you.

[scorch]

Hi Neil, yes I'm still doing the bulk cooking thing.  It's been working pretty well 🙂  I was going to cook a fresh batch of food yesterday, but some friends ended up highjacking us and  taking us out to see a film.  So guess who is going to have a busy night tonight?  This girl! 

The runners I am exercising in are not new but in fairly good condition.  It is one of my goal rewards to get a new pair, so I'll hold out until then.  

With the treadie I usually work up to a good speed then stay at that rate.. although the last couple of times I've tried to use it - it has some kind of heart attack and the power cuts out.  It's getting frustrating, so I've mainly been on the cycle this last week. Once I get it working properly I will do what you suggest and play with the elevation.

On another note.  We had our first weigh in session with the weight loss competition between myself, my hubby and my mother.  It's been a month since we started this comp, and in that time I've lost 4 kg, my hubby has lost 2 kg and so has my mother.  Every one is happy with their results so far... and yay, I'm in the lead 😄 hehehe

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorch

Just a quick check in - tis Thursday today, so that would have made your 'weigh day' as being yesterday.  How did you go?

Kind regards

Neil

[scorch]

Hi Neil.  Weigh in this week saw me lose another kilo.  I'm only one away from my first reward.  I'm not sure my treadie will come back to life, so I've spent my time mainly on the bike this week.  I think I need to do more rowing.  Yesterday I decided I'd add to my exercise some things like star jumps and lunges.  I can tell you, they get the heart rate up... but I couldn't do many before I was too stuffed. I'm also doing some arm exercises using fruit cans as weights, trying to get rid of my bingo wings and strengthen my shoulders.  Hubby bought me a second hand punching ball thingie on a stand... so I'm going to try to do some boxing exercises too, but I don't really know what I'm doing there.  lol.

[Neil_1]

Hi Scorchie,

I’m breaking this into Part A and Part B posts, cause it’s just too long – but hope you can read both, cause I reckon they’re both pretty good – I’ve gotta stop saying stuff like that!

Way to go girl!!!   That is AWESOME news – another kilo – you ARE smashing it.  🙂   🙂    That is soooo good … but whoa, I’ve just had a thought.  If this continues, you’re going to have to go out and start shopping for newer, smaller outfits, yeah??  🙂

You know, as I was reading your reply, I was thinking, it might be time to introduce some different exercises, just to spice things up a bit.  Bit of variety and then I read at the bottom that you’re already thinking that.

Can I just check again … is hubby doing this with you?  I ask this cause if he is, this will be a definitely do-able thing – but it gets you puffing and it doesn’t take very long either – ok ok, I’ve just realised what I’ve written and that could be construed in many 'different' ways, but we’re all adults here and let’s just keep our minds just a smidge out of the gutter (just this once anyway!).

You mentioned the boxing thing – and yep, that’s what I was referring to with the puffing thing. 

However for this you’re going to need either a very good sized cushion and I’m talking like a deep one;  or a mattress that you can stand up against a wall;  or two pillows.

Let’s say it’s either a deep cushion or two pillows – eg:  hubby holds them up against his chest – you stand fairly close to the pillows;   have your arms down straight by your sides;   then keep upper arm down;   raise your forearms to be horizontal (so your arm is close enough to 90 degrees);   form fists and then begin to punch;  alternative – just take it slow to start off and nothing too hard;  definitely not too hard, because you don’t want to damage your wrist. 

The thing you’ll be aiming for here (literally is the pillows), figuratively is to get your punch speed faster and faster – keep remembering though – keep them going faster and faster, but not hitting with any major force.  UNLESS of course you get to a sports store and I think for around $20 you can pick up a cheap pair of boxing gloves (ones with fingers cut out of them – so they’re padded against your knuckles and have supportive wrist wraps – the last thing I’d want you to do here is to sprain your wrist).

But if you start to do this – you will be surprised at how quickly it is before you start to really slow down and gasp for breath.

Now for hubby, if it’s possible, what I’d do Scorch is for you to hold the pillows against a wall (obviously you standing to the side) and then hubby gets in and goes not hard but fast – this is so he doesn’t knock you over and again, hopefully he doesn’t go so hard as to put a hole in the wall!! 

 I’m not after you damaging your home here either … so perhaps choose a brick wall (Neil, don’t say that!!).

If you've got a mattress, lean it up against the wall and then go for it.  Much easier.

End of Part A

[Neil_1]

Part B

Another one for toning up arms AND tightening up the pecs (chest) and helping out with upper body strength is to do pushups – now if you think there’s no way you can do a push-up, there ARE variations. 

For newbies or people who don’t think they could even do one, there are ‘on the floor on knees push up’. 

But there's a simpler version than that.  It's 'against the wall push-outs'.  The first step is to stand right up (face on) against a wall (a solid wall);  place your hands flat on the wall just a bit wider than shoulder width apart.  Now begin to walk your feet backwards to have them about a metre or so away from the wall  – and while doing this, keep your body in a straight line – so the back of your head, your spine, the backs of your legs are as in as straight a line as you can possibly get (but adjust this to how you feel comfortable and able to do this - closer in or further out, it depends totally on you). 

Then press your body away from the wall, until your arms are almost fully straight, but don’t straighten them – don’t lock them out at the elbow – just keep a slight bend in them – this keeps the tension and the pressure on.  Then slowly ease your body back to the starting position.  Concentrate on doing this nice and slowly and remembering to keep your body as straight as you possibly can. 

Repeat for 10 reps, then rest.  Have a minute or so rest and then repeat two more times.  Wall pushups are then complete.

“IF” you feel ok to do them on the floor and not the full version, but on your knees, then go for it – again remembering to keep the back of your head and your spine in a straight line and also your backside.  Your pivot point will be that you are on your knees.  So then it’s a matter of lowering to the floor (hands a little further than shoulder width apart) and then pushing back up, but not fully straight and continue for 10 reps.  Do this 3 times through as well.

I’ll come back later for a session on your triceps.

Remember, that no matter how much a female works out, they will NEVER build muscle – not massive muscle – because you simply don’t have the hormones generated in your bodies that help promote muscle growth. 

What happens when you do workouts like this and many others, is that you will tone up your muscles, but rest assured, unless you’re injecting some kinds of substances in your body, you’re not going to be growing muscle.

Having said that, by working out and toning up muscle groups, the body loves that because it then has to increase its metabolism in order to feed the worked out body parts – so it uses your food/fuel that you put into your body in a positive way and in so doing, it feeds the muscle and little is stored as fat.

Sorry about this – the length of this is quite long – sermon over for this post.

Neil