Minimalism and creating a peaceful space

[Clues_Of_Blue]

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch of the hoarder, I managed to accumulate a lot. Sentimental bits from my younger days, gifts, free stuff I thought I was just too poor to say no to - could need it later, and not be able to afford it, right? There were also bills and sensitive documents I just didn't know what to do with, and boy do they pile up over the years! And worst of all, relationships - when you live with someone, they bring in their own lifetime of clutter, oftentimes leaving a whole bunch of it behind when they leave. And again related to being poor, if any money came my way I wanted to treat myself. A book, or an article of clothing was often the go to. Guess who had a bunch of books she never read and clothes that didn't get worn.

When I parted ways with my most recent ex, he left an extraordinary tonne of junk behind. I made it my mission to get rid of it, and along with it anything of my own I didn't want any more. I had gifts I neither used or particularly liked, boxes of books I bought with the thought I should get them while I had money to read when I didn't (they moved - along with the sensitive documents - from house to house in boxes that never got opened), even clothes from when I was a teenager (those suckers never gonna fit again, and they sure aren't in style any more). In the course of trying to find more and better ways to pare down all this stuff sucking the life out of me, I discovered there were a whole heap of other people who thought like me and wanted what I wanted. Minimalists. There are articles and blogs and tonnes of inspiration out there, and they helped me immensely.

I've been on the journey for a bit over four years, and it took most of that time to get my home how I want it. But now I can easily find things I want to use and don't have to clean, organise or maintain half as much stuff. I don't feel compelled to buy things on a whim or to feel good, because I just don't need them - I'm actually repelled by the idea of having more objects around me. I now have much more time and space and peace. I thought that worth sharing. What a fantastic tool it's been for looking after my mental health!

[Guest_4643]

Hey everyone, this is a good thread here.

I don't have much room in my house to make a "peaceful space", but I mostly just stay on the laptop, go in my bedroom or go for walks daily or run errands with my parents.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I could create a "peaceful space" or something similar instead please?

[ecomama]

Hey Tay Tay - Blue can correct me if I'm wrong, it's happened before lol, but I think what she meant by 'peaceful space' was that if we practice Minimalism then our spaces can be peaceful.

Blue??

Well I'd have to agree too.

Since clearing out all those things 'excess to our needs' or clothing that was too big or too small or just not "us", I've found that the house work has also minimised!

That's joyous lol.

I reckon I'm only probably 30% thru "decluttering" the whole property but even that much has made a world of difference.

I seriously can't IMAGINE how free I'll feel when I'm totally done, which is a long way off yet.
I just spent nearly a solid month on 3 rooms! Won't have time like that very often.
They're still not "done" but major progress was made.

I reckon 2 years, mainly bec I'm working full time and have all the kids too.

Hope you're doing okay Blue and everyone.

Love EM

[Guest_4643]

Hey EM, thanks. Hope you and everyone else are ok too.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Haha, thanks EM.

The cycle of bags, oh how well I know it. It won't last forever, I promise. Can't say it won't drive you nuts in the meantime though, sorry!

I guess for them that's normal so they may not think about privacy the way we do. Or I hope not, or they would be having a hard time of it. I bet they need a lot of clothes and things. And here you are, poised to help. 🙂

I'll get to the money thread forthwith.

Looks like your strategy with Yvette was perfect. Nice. Good that she asked before putting clothes on your bed. Then work, too. You've passed on the Energiser Bunny genes, haha.

So, clean floors, clean mirrors. Was there much left in the built-ins? And a whole heap of sheets sorted. Great work.

I chuckled at your excitement about finishing off the clothes - even buying an easy dinner so you could stay focused on it. That transformation is so healthy and uplifting, I know the enthusiasm you speak of. I'm glad you're experiencing that on your journey, it really helps get you through all the work involved.

Hehehe, love that Alexa called prodigal son's room minimalist, without knowing that's the mission you were on. Perfect.

You have plenty to go on with, no need to rush to throw out stuff you're not yet sure about. Take it as you need to.

You should have your car back, now. I hope so. I hear you about wanting to start in new places here and there. Finishing some first is probably a good idea. The hiccup with starting too many things and not finishing is that you don't see the results from all the work and it eats at your momentum. You probably don't want that.

You're mostly right about my mention of peaceful spaces. Sometimes a space asks for more things, but usually not. I'll expand on that shortly.

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Tayla,

Apologies for the belated response. I wanted to get back to your question sooner, but an unusually busy schedule plus work really knocked the stuffing out of me. You bet I've minimised my schedule this week to resolve that grave error!

EM was right about minimising creating peace. You have your room, so that is a space of your own you can make however you want it. The idea, as EM said, is to remove anything that doesn't fit with what you need or what you enjoy. If you have things like clothes that don't fit, or things people gave you that you don't like, or decorations that you loved years ago but don't fit your style now, keeping them doesn't serve you. Those things may require maintenance (washing, dusting, repairing, things like that) and will draw your eye and pull at your emotions in unhelpful ways that chip away at your peace of mind.

Look at each of your belongings and ask if it is useful. If not, is it something you enjoy? If the answer is no to both, out it goes. You will find yourself left with only things that are good for you. Therein lies the peace that can be created with minimalism. That said, removing things you don't want doesn't mean you can't replace some with things you do want. If you want new decorations that suit how you are now, that's okay. If you need something useful in that space, that's okay. The thing is to avoid accumulating things that don't serve you or benefit you in some way.

Hope that helps.

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

I think it's time to revisit this thread, for myself and hopefully to reach others. Minimalism is one of those things that I like to bring back into focus in times of high stress. Being conscious of where I spend my time, my money, my energy, and taking it back from things of lesser importance that may have crept into my life. It's about making sure the belongings, the commitments and the relationships I have are all beneficial in some way - that I don't hold onto anything that pulls me away from what really matters to me. Clearing away the cobwebs, so to speak. It's so important to regularly re-evaluate what matters and what is beneficial here and now - if it used to matter and doesn't now, it's just emotional baggage and needs to go.

[ecomama]

Hey Blue

I found this thread again! I am also a child of 2 parents being hoarders; each in separate houses. My Nana was an organised hoarder, kept everything clean but ALWAYS had whatever you needed if you asked lol. 

We had another Council pick up this week. 
I have a nagging feeling about "keeping things as security to sell if things get tougher financially"... it doesn't really work. It used to and I have sold stacks of stuff to keep us afloat in the past. 

IDK I have conflicting thought patterns, fears of poverty I'd say (FOO issues). I need to stay in paid work. Having too much stuff is a hindrance to even my work I find because it disturbs my peace of mind. 

I even became excited about a side hustle that would involve me NEEDING to collect more stuff! But I waited and realised the true motivation for that. Not doing it now. (It was hoarding in disguise). 

Clothing next. Most of it is good quality 2nd hand stuff. I won't be buying any more clothes, never have been a compulsive shopper anyway. 

Just a post to get things out from on my mind about my journey to "minimalism". 

EM

[ecomama]

Hey Blues and others reading

Today I bought a cane lamp shade for my bedroom ceiling light. Atm it's bare lol. It's not had a cover for many years. I found it in KMart for $20 and it's very nice. I did NEED it. I'd like my room looking alot better before bf comes to visit. 

I found a YT Channel of a Swedish lady who posts about Minimalism - her way. It's very lovely and pleasing to watch, also very informative. I found one video of her doing a 30 day declutter challenge, what a challenge that would be for me lol! 

Day 1 you find one item not needed any more. 
Day 2 you find 2 and so on up to 30. So THIRTY items on the 30th day wow. 

SO tomorrow I begin. 1 item is easy lol. 
We're having a Financial Resolution Family Day tomorrow (that's the plan anyway). The older children showing the younger ones how to complete their Tax Returns online. Applying for certain payments. Getting finicky things done like applying for Medicare cards for the kids that don't have them or have lost them (same thing really). Linking accounts to Services NSW etc etc. 

Also the children who can book in their Learner's test want to do this. Yep another BILLION hours of driver instructing for me, you know what I mean. 

I loved some suggestions this lady had for her home. I already put our laundry powder in a large bucket with a flexible lid to keep out moisture. It's white with no labels. Same with stuff around the kitchen sink. 

I'll let you all know how this 30 day challenge goes lololol! It's a LOT but it's gotta get done SOME HOW and this seems like a great "self-accountable" way to leap into it. 

WISH ME LUCK! 

Love EM

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

Really glad you found this thread again. I can relate very much about fears of poverty. It wasn't fun, and I'd rather not do it again, as I know you would agree. But as you say, having too much stuff is a huge hindrance to peace of mind.

I know I go on about ADHD a lot, but given you would understand this, I'll say that clutter is especially bad for those of us dealing with ADHD - it influences every aspect of our lives and requires a lot of careful management. Think about it - every item requires time and energy and money to maintain or clean or organise.  Every single item in our house stretches us to do stuff our executive function makes three times harder than it is for neurotypical people. Not just that, ADHD takes away our filters for sensory stimuli. Every item bombards our senses, and we can't tune it out, all that stimulus is overwhelming and exhausting. And attention - yo, I ain't gonna remember what I'm looking for if there's 100 items to look through. Any one or all of those is gonna distract me and send me off on another course, original objective wholly forgotten. We need clear spaces for any sort of peace or functionality. It's essential.

I'm glad you questioned your ideas about that side hustle, it's so important to question our motives. Get that hidden hoarder out of here!

Great work on the 30 day challenge. I didn't do that myself, but I was just tossing huge amounts of stuff in the carport through my big clean-up so it kinda worked that way naturally. There's less to get rid of now, but we keep a bag by the door for things we want to take to the op shop, and I make a point of removing anything we don't need as soon as I'm aware of it. A friend has said he'll put some stuff on eBay for us, which we just haven't had the energy for, that's a big job for us. What is the YT channel you're watching? I follow the blog Becoming Minimalist, which has helped me somewhat along the way.

I like the sound of a Financial Resolution Family Day, your children sound really supportive of one another, you've fostered a great family spirit in them. Are you able to get the older ones to help with driving hours for the learners?

Definitely wishing you well with the 30 day challenge - not luck, more like fortitude, you'll make your own luck no worries. 🙂

Blue.

[ecomama]

Hey Blue and others reading

Today was my first day of the 30 day challenge. I had so much other stuff to do like grocery shopping for the half week (I'm doing the shopping every 3 -4 days now), plus issues in my garden to try to fix, cooking etc etc.
I have 2 loaves of banana bread in the oven right now. I needed to bring something for morning tea for work tomorrow, that's 1, the other one is for us. 

I decided to begin with the 30 items first because as I started, I wanted to keep going at it. I offered furniture to all my children with a "You DON'T have to say yes, please say no if you don't want it" text. No one wanted any of it. SO I have alot more to sell! 

I got a bag of unwanted items / garbage and ended up with 3 garbage bags of clothing etc for the Charity Bins. Plus the furniture to sell. 
Plus 5 really nice handbags that were hand me downs. I kept one I'd bought years ago that I LOVE and the one I use day to day. I've bagged up the 5 to also list together online for sale. Goneskis! 

Hopefully no extra demands will pile up on me next weekend because I'd really like to embark selling online then. Earlier if I have the energy but it's a busy work week ahead and that's probably enough on top of runnign around for the kids etc.

I'd also like to join our Freecycle group on FB (I joined under a false name to hopefully it's safer that way). 

I'm gingerly taking the buckets away from inside, that were catching the leaking rainwater. Hope the roof repairs hold up. 
I'm storing these buckets in the old chook's shed and may look to put the old ones out or give away too. Freecycle people would love them. 

Making decisions about some things is hard. I also don't know how to prioritise areas to declutter. I do feel overwhelmed to a point but know it's not going to happen if I don't do it and I HAVE to do it. This place is driving me nuts lol. 

Love EM