Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[quirkywords]

MyLadyGirl

Thank you for sharing your description of what mindfulness means to you.

I can never think of absolutely nothing. I have really tried to achieve this many times but I know the more I try for nothing the more I think of something.

Now I just focus on one thing, and nothing else, maybe my shoes, a leaf, a book cover, but to achieve the quiet and stop my eternal over thinking for me I just focus on one thing.

Quirky

[MyLadyGirl]

Quirky,

Mindfulness does not mean thinking nothing. To become mindfulness, meditation is the best alternative way. But with all that is happening, the best way I define it is doing thing at the moment not think of the past and future.

Do what you can do at the present moment not thing of the past and future which I always do.

[blondguy]

Hi SparrowHawk and everyone!

You are spot on when you mentioned "nasty criticism which was more about demeaning and belittling me than helping me to grow" I understand what you mean as this is exactly the same type of criticism I was referring to above...even though I didnt phrase it correctly. I feel your pain on this one SH...It is a form of emotional trauma

Hey LadyGirl......I really appreciate that you understand how difficult 'mindfulness' can be for many people...You outlined some excellent examples in your post above regarding 'mindsets' as a foundation so we can practice mindfulness and thankyou 🙂

When I was having counseling for acute anxiety in the 1980's the psychologists and psychiatrists were focused on 'grounding' and mindfulness was never mentioned...or heard of. To some people 'Mindfulness' can appear to represent having an overactive mind

Hey Quirky....Thanks for your input/life experience on this topic with isolating our thoughts to one instead of many so we can get close to achieving what SH has mentioned. Just my opinion.....I feel that some people have been 'overthinking' and 'oversensitised' for so long it can be extremely difficult to think about nothing and thus grasp the true meaning of mindfulness

you are all amazing people and thankyou for helping so many that choose to read and not to post on the forums

my kind thoughts

Paul

[quirkywords]

blondguy

I like this sentence of yours.

"I feel that some people have been 'overthinking' and 'oversensitised' for so long it can be extremely difficult to think about nothing and thus grasp the true meaning of mindfulness."

That is why I struggle.

Thanks for explaining that so well Paul.

People keep telling me to meditate etc but it is far more complicated.

I feel we need to support each other in real like like we do on this thread and understand someone who finds the concept of mindfulness very difficult.

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

From what I have experienced myself, read and practised the concept of mindfulness (usually it just "happens" without my planning it)...it is totally the opposite of meditation.

Mindfulness is not thinking about nothing.....it's completely focussing and noticing the object, place, moment, event, right in front of you...e.g. an inanimate object such as flower, or a view, a man playing with his dog in the distance.....it's thinking, noticing and looking at that...and that alone! Right there, in the moment! Seeing every aspect of it.

Meditation is the opposite..(this is how I understand both states of mind and it works for me!) Peace to all xxx

[quirkywords]

Greetings to all reading,

Moon.

I find that people use the words interchangeably both online and offline.

I found this online,

Meditation and mindfulness each have many definitions and are often intertwined, so it’s easy to confuse the two terms. However, these two terms actually complement each other.

Being able to build a mindfulness meditation habit is something that has a lot of positive effects on your overall health and relationships with others.

Mindfulness, on the other hand, is actually a specific form of meditation.

There is a fine line of distinction between the two, but the main difference is that meditation is a bigger umbrella term that includes the practice of mindfulness.

Now you can see why I am so confused. Moon I like you have it worked out but when you read what so called experts say, it can be confusing.

So can someone explain if the above definition is what they understand or if not, why?

Meditation is the broad term that incorporates the practice of mindfulness. Sounds simple just wish I knew what it meant.

Quirky

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks Paul. I experienced this consistently over four years and I think this is now why I am feeling so down about myself. I think I internalised a lot. There are ways of correcting and criticising others which don't at all involve an attack on who they are. The person who criticised me often made me feel that they were frustrated and tired simply with having me around and having to work with me in the way they did. It just made me feel like a terrible, terrible person.

[quirkywords]

Sparrowhawk,

How do you feel that mindfulness might help you heal the past hurt you have suffered?

I understand how horrible your experience of being criticised has affected you.

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

Hi there Sparrowhawk.....

I was wondering too, if you practise mindfulness or meditation and which one seems to work better for you? love and peace....x

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks Quirky and Moonstruck.

I mentioned here before that my GP gave me the "Rule of 5" to use; this has been helpful when I get triggered. I try it also when I fall into negative self-talk, but it's not so easy to do in those situations as my thinking can escalate very quickly.

I am a Christian and do pray, which helps me a lot. Sometimes I will lie on my bedroom floor and listen to some relaxing music, or do some deep breathing. All of these help but not all the time.

The issue for me now doesn't seem so much to be the treatment I experienced from this other person. That was really hard, but something I can deal with and move on from. I am still in contact with this person and it is getting steadily easier to be around them (in group settings; I am still afraid of meeting them individually, which will inevitably be necessary because of the nature of our relationship).

The deeper pain is how it has made me feel so badly about myself, to berate myself every time I get something wrong or someone pulls me up on something, because I automatically tell myself that if I make a mistake I am not good enough and am a disappointment and a failure. I make lots of silly and impractical mistakes so every day I'm hating on myself. This is all coming from how I was treated.