Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[sparrowhawk]

P.S. I just thought to post this here...

One of my major triggers for anxiety and depression is being corrected. I am not afraid of correction per se, but I had a very difficult relationship with someone who would combine correction with personal attacks - not just criticising my behaviour, but criticising me as a person.

Yesterday someone gave me a correction and for the first time in a long time it didn't make me feel overwhelmingly worthless. She apologised several times and told me she had worried to tell me because she didn't want to make me upset (she doesn't know about my depression, or about my history of bullying). Although it was not easy hearing that I had upset her, I told her I was glad she had told me and said she hadn't upset me because she had been very respectful and hadn't criticised me as a person. Maybe this is a sort of breakthrough. I think the mindfulness exercises have really helped.

[quirkywords]

Sparrowhawk, and hello to everyone,

Thanks for sharing your experience and how you had insight to stop and question your way of reacting to someone correcting you. I am pleased mindfulness has helped you.

I want to thank you as I get very defensive and very sensitive when people give me constructive feedback that I read as criticism. I don't have any sad experience in my past but I just am very sensitive and I know I overreact and sometimes it is so trivial and I feel tears coming.

Now I try hard to examine what the person said, and are they really trying to upset me or are they being helpful.

It is hard to break long held habits but I find if I try not to cry and really examine what someone has said it does help. Also taking a deep breath and then pausing.

So thanks Sparrowhawk, your post has helped me examine my way of reacting.

Quirky

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks quirky. I know most people have very good intentions and don't mean to hurt others by correction. At the time I did feel bad that I had upset this person, but was able to stop myself from withdrawing and to actually thank her for giving me the feedback she did, and in such a sensitive manner.

I actually get quite frustrated with myself these days. I am a sensitive person, but generally am able to take constructive criticism and see it as a positive thing, something to help me grow. Since my experience with this person who bullied me, I am very hurt by any criticism because it is now so wrapped up with a real sense of being a disappointment and a failure. Sometimes I get teary or even cry (in private) and that makes me feel really mad at myself. It's a spontaneous reaction I can't yet control. This person's actions and words consistently told me that I was disappointing them, but even when they did hurt me I would never tell them, for fear of being further criticised. I think, however, they came to see in some ways that they had acted wrongly.

With what happened yesterday, I did go over it in my mind and tell myself I wished I hadn't done what I did so that I wouldn't have upset this person. But the fact I was able to remain internally calm, not immediately descending into negative self-talk, was something I was really proud of. I am going to tell my psychologist!

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

Sparrowhawk

I was proud of you too for not going into negative self talk. I know I do that and have sometimes managed to stop breathe and then look at what as happened. It isn't easy and you should be proud.

I think mindfulness has helped me staying the moment and not catastrophising what has happened. Stay in the moment listen to what was said .

Quirky

[blondguy]

Hi everyone! New members are always welcome to have their say too as we are doing our best to understand 'Mindfulness' and how you find some 'peace of mind'....even for a moment!

Hey Sparrowhawk.....Your caring post is greatly appreciated.....and your healing thoughts 🙂 Thankyou heaps!

Sparrowhawk mentioned "not just criticising my behaviour, but criticising me as a person".....I feel your pain on this SH as I am woeful where criticism is concerned....whether its my behavior or as a person. I do have a problem with being criticized even though I understand the difference between the two types

Hey Quirky....Thankyou so much for helping me out with your presence on this and other threads with your wisdom and TLC......You mentioned " I just am very sensitive and I know I overreact and sometimes" (edit) I feel exactly the same Quirky and its a relief to know that I am not alone where criticism is concerned...Excellent!

Quirky also mentioned "I think mindfulness has helped me staying the moment and not catastrophising"

Hydrotherapy >>>>>> I am going to give this a go as I wasnt aware of the benefits.....has anyone experienced the benefits of hydrotherapy to help us 'stay in the moment'? as Quirky mentioned in her post above

my kindest always

Paul

[Moonstruck]

Hi BlondGuy...you mentioned "hydrotherapy" what is this exactly?

The word reminded me of a wonderful experience I had many years ago in a capital city.....of a Flotation Tank. I have no idea why they sort of disappeared because honestly, even though the concept may sound a bit scary...it was lovely, truly peaceful and safe! (and the word "mindfulness" hadn't even been heard of then!!)

I imagine they would have to be regulated with health checks etc and this was a first class establishment obviously. Not sure how claustrophics get on, properly not get in the tank in the first place!....

The private room was beautifully equipped and luxurious with shower, towels, body lotions, shampoo etc for after your float....you step into the soothingly warm water and when you close the top down you simply...float.

Detailed instructions outline the procedure...first few minutes there's relaxation music...then it turns off and there's no outside stimulus at all, no sounds except your breathing and the swishing of the water (quite shallow but enough to keep you floating in space).....when nearing the end of your float the relaxation music gently wafts in again, to announce your float is coming to an end......and you lift off your "lid" climb out feeling WONDERFUL......

they recommended clients relax in the communal lounge area after dressing, and take as long as they wish before heading out onto the street and back into the "real world"....

so whatever happened to Flotation Tanks? Does any city have them any more I wonder?

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Like Moon I remember flotation tanks but not sure they are same as hydrotherapy .

I do recall the flotation tanks were so relaxing but not sure the water temperature was a hot as in a hydrotherapy pool. the heat of the water is the main point of hydrotherapy. When I was a Teacher we took students with disabilities there once a week and they really enjoyed it.

I think it would be good for relaxing and meditating.

Thanks Paul for the question and Moon for your answer which has brought back memories of wrap around skirts and tie dye T-shirt’s!!

Quirky

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone and New members are always welcome too 🙂

Hey Moon.....I should have been more specific when I mentioned 'Hydrotherapy' as from my experience it is using water for pain/anxiety relief and treatment.

Just with my own health I did a ton of research and bought a heavy duty inflatable spa (1000 Liters.. 2 meters x 700mm deep)......I havent had a spa since I was 19 in 1979 and it was pure bliss......I dont remember feeling so deeply relaxed...even with all the coping mechanisms I have learned since 1983...The brain just switches off....it is a wonderful place to be in....mindfulness?

An excellent way to find serious peace and build a solid foundation on which we can heal more effectively:-)

Hey Quirky......I miss seeing those wonderful wrap around skirts and the Ti Dyed T-Shirts.....thanks for that!

Quirky mentioned "I think it would be good for relaxing and meditating".....absolutely.....and then some!

Moon mentioned "climb out feeling WONDERFUL.."...Yes..whether its a flotation tank or a spa you did sum it up perfectly!

my kind thoughts always

Paul

[sparrowhawk]

Thanks Paul. I generally am okay with criticism, it's just that a lot of my trauma is connected with excessive and nasty criticism which was more about demeaning and belittling me than helping me to grow.

[MyLadyGirl]

Hi Paul,

Love your start of the forum. Mindfulness. My definition is thinking absolutely nothing. But because the mind is attached to the world it's uneasy to be mindfulness. Mind is like monkey thinking a lots of unworried situation. How much we want to have peace of mind the mind will wonder to other worldly situation. Baby is mindfulness where they only think of two things. Food and sleep. Sometimes to play. As the age develop the mind become aware of the surrounding and as it increase we loose the mind with lot of problem. Family, friends and relationship get into the situation where one forget that life is just not it. We get attached to it causing depression, unloving, anxious and etc. We seek help. When things don't happen as it plan we blame the situation not us. We look for desire and earthly material fame,money, houses and etc. We just loose our self.

Mindfulness can happen if we believe if we are happy. Give chance to life. Enjoy the what is given to us. Go crazy even people think it is stupid and we are crazy. Enjoy what you do even though the money is not good. Take things lightly. Light your burden that you are caring. Humble to your self. Respect your self. Thankful that you are living another day with the people that loves you, thankful to the person that always being there through hardship, thankful to the person that bring you to the world even what they promise you is not what excepted and what you want. Everyday look to what we have that other doesn't. Then mindfulness happen.