Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[Guest_322]

Hi Paul,

Thank you, you're very generous with your compliments. Keep up your famous "kind and gentle" thing 😊

Dottie x

[Starwolf]

Thank you Paul.

For those game enough to attempt the "mind watching itself" practice, please note that the only way to succeed is to catch thoughts as they arise, BEFORE becoming entangled in them. It will then be noticed that the simple act of noticing a thought, feeling, emotion as it pops up makes it temporarily vanish (be sure it will come back !). Emotions cannot cohabit with the watcher. At first, it is best practiced with commonplace, everyday thoughts, not the obsessive kind.

I used to turn practice into a game played with my restless, over-reactive mind...trying to pip it at the gate of awareness. Having fun with it somewhat balances the frustration of consistently being beaten to it. As we become more proficient, there is watching the space between thoughts and widening it, abiding in it. A skill like any other just particularly difficult to master.

The trouble with sitting meditation or intently observing one particular object is that the mind gets bored...so it automatically becomes distracted. Walking meditation is easier. For example going for a walk with all senses on the alert for everything we come by. Focusing on what is to be seen, touched, heard, smelled or tasted instead of being in our head with senses on automatic pilot. Whenever the mind takes over, just notice, acknowledge and return to thought free observation. Overthinking is a self-perpetuating activity. If less attention is given to it, it eventually calms down. Eventually.

It is amazing how much of Life passes us by unnoticed while we are ruminating past experiences, concocting unlikely scenarios, replaying conversations and generally torturing ourselves with a future that will probably never happen...at least not the way we imagined it would. What we must do is move on to a different object, person, situation before becoming emotionally involved with it (whether we like it or not, what it reminds us of etc...).

Much of the exhaustion felt in depression/anxiety is due to the stress of overthinking. Being fully present in the moment frees up an incredible amount of otherwise misdirected energy.

Besides, considering the mind's insistence on playing tricks on us, turning the tables on it is only fair 🙂

The mind watching itself is the beginning of control and a huge step towards knowing ourselves.

[CMF]

Great post Star, thank you for sharing that.

Great post for a great thread.

[fearnotpenelope]

I'm actually very interested in this topic, but also really uncertain as to whether I really understand the concept.

starwolf's comment about children doing this easily resonates with me as I remember that from my earliest memories and some of my happiest are times when I can remember lying in the grass in a paddock and seeing the ants and insects, smelling the grass and dirt, breathing the air and feeling the sun's warmth on my skin and really, truly almost being entranced by how calm and happy I was feeling.

I have experienced this in adulthood, mostly again in nature, as I feel that the peace helps me to focus my mind. I also felt a strong sense of presence in the moment when breastfeeding both of my sons.

I am really interested in trying yoga or group meditation but my social anxiety is holding me back from giving it a go! I will get there eventually 🙂

My concern with the rhetoric around mindfulness is the mention of it often as a reproach against parents' time with their children. Have you guys noticed that?

anyway, thanks for starting this thread, I am keen to learn more!

[blondguy]

Hi fearnotpenelope!

Thanks for jumping in with your great post. I am very much like yourself with mindfulness and feeling like I have so much more to learn on the concept/meaning.

If I can say that you are amazing for actually practicing mindfulness when you mentioned you let yourself go with nature and being in the moment with those thoughts......" I feel that the peace helps me to focus my mind"

You have actually used the concept to being in a state of inner peace without the interference of any other thoughts than the moment you were in at the time........mindfulness...

You mentioned "My concern with the rhetoric around mindfulness is the mention of it
often as a reproach against parents' time with their children" I hope Starwolf can help on this as its a good point that I would love to hear her (or anyone else's) thoughts on.

(Just some background for you Penelope. I have had chronic anxiety (13 years) followed by depression for the last 21 years and take a small SSRI antidepressant every day since 1996. The depression has eased off and the bad anxiety attacks have gone but have morphed into a social anxiety)

You are a proactive person where your health is concerned and I hope you can stick around the forums. I havent done yoga but its meant to be a huge benefit to achieve greater peace and clarity. The meditation is always beneficial to low or high level anxiety conditions.

Great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue Family

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Starwolf

Its great to have you here and 'fill in the gaps' on the benefits of Mindfulness and thankyou as myself and many others are benefiting from your knowledge.

Starwolf Said:" It is amazing how much of Life passes us by unnoticed while we are ruminating past experiences"

and "Overthinking is a self-perpetuating activity. If less attention is given to it, it eventually calms down, eventually"

I have let much of my life pass me by unnoticed while I have been 'living' in the past even though I was trying to stay grounded in the present (with some genuinely brilliant counselors) I am still learning and am determined to get a 'handle' on mindfulness with practice of course.

Thanks Star

Paul

[blondguy]

Just a note from Penelope for Starwolf below if you can help Star

Penelope Said: "My concern with the rhetoric around mindfulness is the mention of it
often as a reproach against parents' time with their children" I hope Starwolf can help on this as its a good point that I would love to hear her (or anyone else's) thoughts on.

Paul

[Starwolf]

Hi Penelope, good to meet you.

I wish I could answer your question but I'm not sure what is meant. I just can't find a connection between mindfulness and poor parenting. But I'm curious...could you elaborate on this ?

From my hands on experience, I believe introducing mindfulness in our way of life is actually a positive parenting asset... I'm more into practice than rhetoric. Nature's has given us a left and a right brain. Science tells us that the right brain is seldom or sparingly used. A shame that half the brain should go to waste. Developing the watcher within is a right brain activity, so a way to balance brain activity, therefore all areas of Life experience.

I saw logic in this, observed what happened when it was applied by others, liked the effects I observed and so decided to give it a go. I never looked back.

How could learning to balance and control a runaway brain have adverse effects ?

[blondguy]

Thanks Starwolf

I like this "How could learning to balance and control a runaway brain have adverse effects"

learning to balance & control a runaway brain.....so simple yet so very effective. Paul

[Just Sara]

Great thread Paul!

I don't think I need to add to Star's words as she's summed things up well, I'd like to say one thing to Penelope though; kids are more grounding than any other thing or activity!

Though, one can be 'too' grounded. This is for Dottie and anyone who suffers with depression. That's the 'heavy' feeling that drags around with us throughout the day. We feel depleted of energy/motivation and movement is exhausting. Everything's an effort!

With anxiety, we're 'up in the air' in our heads and somewhat detached from our bodies. Grounding brings us back to earth so we acknowledge our physical environment. Has anyone driven a car a few blocks without registering they've been driving? That's mindlessness as opposed to mindfulness!!! Ha ha (Thanks Paul...good one)

So, depression causes heaviness, and anxiety causes light headedness. Getting to the middle ground seems pertinent for both yeah? If you think about it, anxiety is a way to escape situations, and depression is feeling trapped in circumstances.

In other words, carrying around a heavy burden on our shoulders without knowing how to escape, (or give it back to the person it belongs to) is one way of looking at depression.

Anxiety is not facing what frightens us for fear of uncontrollable repercussions; constantly running away out of physical harm's way.

In summary? Depression and anxiety respond to very different forms of mindfulness. In fact, being individualised is best practice. If you think of what makes you feel lighter Dottie, and what gives me a sense of connection to my environment, it's opposite ends of the same pole. Not running away, and not being held down by our fears/beliefs.

I'd really like to hear what people think about this. It's my own theory, so please be kind.

Sara x