Merry Christmas in 2020

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I did try and do a search for Christmas 2020 on the forum and kept getting a message stating something like "Page not found" every time I tried to click on the word Christmas. Maybe the Grinch is trying to steal Christmas yet again!

If there is another thread about Christmas, can someone pleas let me know.

Not everyone celebrates Christmas, I understand that. This year it may be especially difficult as well due to Covid and so many other issues people have in life.

This year will be our first without my Dad. As I was decorating the tree I was thinking of Dad and the Christmas celebrations we had as children. Way back then we were able to go out in the scrub and cut down a native Christmas tree.

This year I have to work Christmas Day so I won't be able to attend Church, nor a Christmas Eve service as family are coming for dinner. I am very thankful that at present we are still able to plan for some of the family to be together. I have no idea how busy I will be Christmas Day at work. Hopefully people will be relaxed and happy!

Christmas can mean different things to everyone. It may mean nothing and that is okay too. If you'd like to share thoughts here about Christmas, the end of this year or any other celebration you have happening soon, please do so.

Today I am trying to boil a Christmas pudding! I have to ensure the saucepan has water for 3 hours! In the past I have neglected this step and ended up cooking the saucepan when it ran out of water and the pudding was a rock!

Wishing you all a great day no matter how you are spending it.

Peace to all, cheers from Dools

[Moonstruck]

Hi Geoff.....I am glad you understand where I am coming from. It's just that...I don't shove my opinions on "Christmas" and all it entails down others' throats...(except I do vent on here, where I thought we were allowed to openly and honestly)...I mean in my everyday life...I certainly don't care at all if they go all out to enjoy "the day" whatever that means....I don't comment negatively on their habits and activities...

however, I do feel as if I have the other point of view shoved repeatedly down my own throat every year and it starts earlier and earlier.....I constantly get asked "what are you doing for Xmas?"...."are you going to your family, or are they coming here to you" "have you done all your Xmas shopping yet?" with my eyes and ears assaulted by cardboard cut-outs, outrageously expensive ostentatious light displays, Carols that have no relevance whatsoever to Australa or our way of life...reinforcing over and over again....loved ones, family, get togethers, love, love, love........is any thought ever given to the devastating effect this constant verbal and visual torture has on those who have NO love, family, friends in their lives? It's like rubbing their faces in it...taunting them......"Look, look what you don't have!"

And no, in case anyone is wondering...I am not one of these folks who have absolutely no love in my life...I have friends, I have fabulous grown up kids (althought separated from me geographically, and not just on December 25)......until last May when he died, I had a loving partner and No, I don't miss him more now because "it's Christmas"....why should I?

You have a nice Christmas Day too Geoff....but then, I hope you have a nice day whether its December 25 or not, so what's the difference? No one has explained the difference to me yet...still waiting.

[ecomama]

Hey Dools

Your pressies sound LOVELY! (How rude of your sister btw lolol dear me).

I thought it would be lovely to have a CRAFTING thread lol.... my cup runneth over with threads I've started but WHY NOT hey?

It's Christmas after all but who needs an excuse? I don't, clearly lol.

I pick my kids up very late from work often and last night it was SO BEAUTIFUL to see whole houses LIT UP with colourful Fairy lights!

A home near my daughter's has a huge blow up Santa and his reindeer all inflated and it just feels JOYOUS to me! That's all you see in the day time but at night when the lights are all on IT'S BREATHTAKING!

I just LOVE Christmas.

I've ALMOST finished my Christmas shopping lol... just one trip left tomorrow and my schedule for the Christmas Day cooking begins.

I have lots of wrapping to do tonight and I put the Christmas Carols on and sing along.
What's your favourite Christmas Carol people?

I went all out even buying MYSELF some presents to wrap and put under the tree lol.

We might even get some furniture moved around tonight too, it'll be a Christmas Miracle if this happens too hahaha.

Love EM

[golden82]

hi Moon and all,

Thanks for your empathy Moon. I am one of those with no one/no family that actually love me. This will be my 7th or 8th - starting to lose count - Christmas alone in my flat. It is a very painful time - I have found myself in bed almost all of December and just want it to end. I am not a scrooge and am genuinely happy for the children and families who have each other. But they have no idea what it is like for those of us alone. Likewise as you say all the commercialism of it and families/love/belonging/togetherness. When you are alone - truly alone - it really rubs salt into the already burning and aching wound.

I found Covid has done this too. With all the talk of spending time at home with loved ones. People are not sensitive enough when talking like this. There are many of us alone, and for some of us it is not by choice. If I had a choice, I would have chosen a loving family and not narc abusers. I think unless people have walked the path alone, they just don't get it. Except there are some like you and most of the people on BB forums who have empathy and consideration of all people's feelings - which is comforting.

For the first couple of Christmases alone in my flat - I phoned Lifeline to help me 'cope'/get through the day. But unfortunately as well meaning as all these support lines are - the common thread of advice is hope. I clung to that for those first couple of years. But now 7 or 8 Christmases alone, with nothing changing....hope is just delayed disappointment. It is merely words that people offer up. I will not be phoning them - as I haven't for several years now. I will just get by somehow as I do. But it is bloody painful, as is mothers day and every other family - happy family - together time...that is spent alone. With brochures, commercials, decorations, everything everywhere you look. Hence I have been in bed. With already severe depression - only made worse. And this year has taught me I have no friends..those who I thought were friends - know bits of my story and my being alone - not one ever has included me for Christmas - not even for a pot of tea. Not my idea of a friend and the true meaning of Christmas. But it is pleasing to have people like you acknowledge other people's pain. I know I have read a few others on the forums will be alone on Christmas too - and I send my kind thoughts to them also. Cheers.

[PinkFeather]

Merry Christmas Dools, and thanks for posting this thread.
I feel sure your Dad could see you decorating the tree, perhaps he's the star at the top!
This festive season I'm sure is affecting us all, whether we're religious or not. For many of us it means valued time with our families at the very least (or the very most), but with borders and an ever changing world landscape slipping and a sliding...suddenly what was taken for granted makes loved ones seem very far. At least that's my experience of it.
This year I am going to celebrate the resiliance of our Australian bush, and plan to have a modest Christmas picnic in a piece of bush decimated by fires a year ago and is now showing so much resiliance after recent rains.
Why not me too? Why not us?
Merry festive season to all and I wish you all love xo

[geoff]

Hello Moon, Dools thank your lovely replies and I do understand what Xmas means to so many people, the celebrations, presents, food and drink and pure excitement for the young ones which I would never ever take away from them, especially the tears when one of their toys breaks, to me, that is heart breaking.

To Golden82, being alone on Xmas day is only exemplified by this particular day, compared to any other day, where all you want is to left alone, not so much in a negative way, perhaps you may want to read a book, finish watching a movie, do some cooking/gardening or basically do nothing.

It's a day where it seems everybody is 'enjoying' themselves, while you find nothing to excite or amuse yourself, so this feeling is magnified by 10, maybe 20 times more.

Hi PinkFeather, I can see where the growth of new sprouts come back so quickly here the bushfires decimated everything, my concern is for the wildlife that upsets me, along with the houses been lost and wonder why people light them on purpose.

I will be on the site to talk to, so you or anyone else can come and discuss anything you want to.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi golden82,

I really am so sorry to read of your loneliness and anguish, if that be on Christmas Day, your Birthday or any day of the year. We all have a need to feel loved, nurtured and cared for.

As I do have family and friends, I don't know what to write that may comfort you. I am not in your situation. I do know the misery and pain of depression though. I can only imagine what it is like for you being alone at any time.

EM it certainly does sound like you are full of plenty of Christmas cheer! I'm not really prepared for Christmas this year! I will make the most of it though. We have food to offer and family to visit so I know I am extremely blessed. So many people don't have that.

It can be hard finding that balance of respecting everyone at Christmas. I know so many people are hurting and struggling. At the same time I am wanting to let go of hurts from Christmas's past and enjoy this one despite all that went on in the year. Yes. I can try to enjoy every day and not just Christmas.

PinkFeather I really like your plans for celebrating Christmas. As children we used to select a native Christmas tree from the scrub. I have one growing in our garden. I am going to cut the top off it and place it inside as a reminder of looking for a suitable tree with Dad as a kid.

Mum will be here for her first Christmas without Dad so I am not sure if I will mention the symbolism to her or not.

Geoff you have a huge heart and so much care for us all as do many people who post here. I hope you have some wonderful "chats" with people here on the forum over the coming days.

Moon I've not walked your journey, I can feel your hurt and pain and acknowledge that any day of the year can be horrid, lonely and overwhelming. Listening to people talking about Christmas and all their plans must be really hard.

This thread is for everyone to share the good, the bad and the down right horrible thoughts and feelings they have towards Christmas. Yes, it would be lovely if offering "hope" to someone was miraculously able to help them see the light at the end of the tunnel and for them to have an amazingly wonderful day!

I have struggled with mental health issues and know it can be darn hard work and near impossible some days to keep going.

So for those who love Christmas and want to share your joy, please do, to those who are struggling, share your thoughts as well.

Cheers all from Dools

[Moonstruck]

Dear golden...write to me on Xmas day if you need to...and I promise to write back...xx

(only if you need to..no pressure )...

[Doolhof]

To Everyone who celebrates Christmas,

I wish you a very Happy Christmas. I hope you have a day filled with much joy, peace and blessings. Give all of those around you an extra smile, keep safe and enjoy your celebrations.

To those who don't celebrate for what ever reason,

If you are struggling today, my thoughts are with you, if you choose not to celebrate that is your choice. What ever you end up doing today, I hope you can look back at the end of the day and find something to be thankful for, even if it is for the food you have eaten, the comfort of your bed, the safety of being in your home or what ever else it might be for you.

Thinking of you all, virtual hugs from Dools

[ecomama]

Dearest Dools

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO DOOLS!

Extending my most sincerest wishes for a wonderful day at work today!
Hope the mood is festive and everyone behaves themselves for you lol.

Hope you get an AWESOME feast for lunch too! And the time to eat it 🙄😁.

I've had THE quietest Christmas morning in over 30y this morning!
All my kids are teens and over and LOVE a sleep in!

Got to have cuddles with my pets, time for myself and time with all of you precious people on the forums.

Whether yo believe in Christmas or not I Pray that many Christmas Blessings are bestowed upon you all today and every day.

And that the Blessings we all already have are acknowledged by us all also.

Thankyou for this safe space BB and Moderators! Thankyou for all the work you do for us to HAVE this safe space and you enjoy today also.

Love EM

[Pppanther]

Merry Christmas Dools ( and everyone else that reads this) I hope everyone has a wonderful peaceful stress free day.

I woke up alone and apart from my daughter and her boyfriend coming over later to visit for our customary Christmas day prawn cocktail, I will be alone for the rest of the day. And yes there is somebody I am missing today too. As you can see I'm new here so maybe I can stick around today and hope cheer some others up who are feeling down about Christmas. It really does make us feel better to help another person. Dools I am sorry you will be missing your Dad today, I hope you can find some comfort in whatever you choose to do.

I agree that we all have a lot to be thankful today, whoever and where ever you are. We all live in a free and wonderful country and have Beyond Blue (and this forum) to be grateful for.

I wish every single person who reads this a very Merry Christmas. I hope that you can find some peace and some happiness today and thank you to the many wonderful volunteers that keep Beyond Blue going

Peace and love to all and if you see someone without a smile, give em one of yours.

Panther