Medication is a whirlpool

[white knight]

My wife has had depression most of her 50 years. When down she sleeps and is less motivated than normal.

I have bipolar 2, dysthymia (another form of depression) and depression. My depression is not like my wife's type. I fall into sadness and an overwhelming feeling of needing to escape from the world....no wallet, no food, no common sense. Into the bush I'd go.

My wife and I married 4 years ago but we have known each other for 28 years now. Since marriage we have tried many medications and we have wanted to throw them away at times. Each time we have stopped taking them we soon have meltdowns. Then the arguments start and the hours of separation.

This occured so often that for the sake of a/ personal safety and b/ to contain our "escaping" desires, we would make a rule that we didnt leave the property and the other person wouldnt hound the other....just leave them be. A good rule.

But we have identified the effect of medication. That so much experimentation has found that we NEED it. That we are not in a position to self "UNMEDICATE". THAT TO UNMEDICATE LEADS TO DISASTER.

The metaphor I came up with just today when answering another post is- like we are holding hands at the side of a whirlpool with the current (our illnesses) rushing past us. The walls of the whirlpool we grasp onto is the medication.  When we let go we are pulled towards the centre of the whirlpool and we cant maintain holding hands. As we are sucked around and down we lose sight of each other. Only when we realise that our choice of stopping taking our meds caused this state do we restart our medication and return to the rim of the pool.

Sufferers and our partners are not qualified to alter medication prescribed by a doctor. There are reasons for that. Medication isnt meant to be stopped and started when you like. Stability in your life and your relationships will come when you accept that medication should not be stopped at will without doctors guidance and advice. i.e. the current becomes less turbulent.

When owning a car you get a service say every 20,000 kms. When 20,000kms comes around since the last service do you decide....nope, I wont replace the oil,  dont worry about topping up the coolant and I dont care if the ball joints arent greased.

The car wont last long. It would have a breakdown....

Hang onto the rim of your whirlpool so you have a firm grip of the hands of your loved ones. Letting go...isnt worth the heartbreak  and the breakdown.

Tony   WK

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Tony

I’m really glad you and the doc were able to resolve the issue by the medication adjustment. It’s true that some of us need meds and it’s good to seek medical advice if something seems amiss.

I’ve recently had a major flare of one of my autoimmune conditions. Through my own hunch and research I suspected a med I was on. I asked the doc about it but she didn’t want me to come off the med. My autoimmune condition was getting drastically worse and not responding to the treatment she prescribed for the autoimmune condition. Out of desperation I stopped the med I suspected of aggravating it. It improved greatly but then other potentially serious symptoms worsened. So I went back on the med.

So the doctor was right it wouldn’t be great to come off it but my hunch combined with research was also right, that it’s causing problems. All alternative meds seem to have similar side effects for the autoimmune condition I have. So no easy answer here and obviously I can discuss further with the GP.

I’ve come to the conclusion that primarily I’ll need to work on non-med solutions to help the symptoms aggravated by the med I need to be on. Autoimmunity can have a strong emotional component and I’m going through a tumultuous time, so it’s creating balance in any way I can to help my immune system and nervous system.

I’m sure it’s great to have normal vision again. Take care and all the best, ER

[white knight]

Hi ER

I think you summed up a common sense approach because- psychs are human and arent perfect, patients know their body, mind and changes to their body that are unnatural and medical advise may not be available at the time when you need it.

Interesting that there is a fragile emotional component from your autoimmunity. I've written many poems over the last 25 years many of which have been highly emotional. Many in print in the poetry corner on this site. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/bb-social-zone/the-poetry-corner-post-your-poems-in-here/td-p/54...

I'm curious- are you more teary? more sensitive? more needy of alone time. Optional to reply on that.

TonyWK

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Tony

Loved reading your poetry. Got a great laugh out of the black widow and portaloo ones 🤣 Expressing ourselves creatively is definitely helpful isn’t it!

In my case the med I came off is a blood pressure med. This allowed other medication to treat the autoimmune condition to work. But then my blood pressure went too high so had to go back on it and it’s re-flared the autoimmune condition just as it was really improving.

So it wasn’t specifically a mental health med. But more than ever now I see the mind and body as the same thing. I have two main autoimmune conditions but a couple of others have tried to make headway as well, but have managed to keep them at bay.

To answer your questions, yes I am more teary, sensitive and in need of time alone (though have been like this over the last two years following traumatic and stressful circumstances). At the moment a huge amount of previously unreleased grief is coming out. I think this is actually good it’s coming out but it’s like there was stored toxic stuff that as it releases has bodily impacts. One of my conditions is psoriasis and the lesions started to itch a lot more and spread. It’s almost like toxicity coming out in my skin.

Anyway, will have a bit more of a read in the poetry corner.

Many thanks, ER