Managing Borderline Personality Disorder

[AGrace]

Hi,

I was looking through some of the posts and couldnt find any related to Borderline Personality Disorder. 

I was diagnosed at the end of the year along with Anxiety and Depression. I was hoping to reach out to anyone in a similar situation to get some advice on how to deal with living with this condition.  I left my employment last year so I could focus on my health which has been useful but now I feel anxious about ever being able to go back to work full time, having children, and doing day to day things whilst managing my illness. To add to this, not doing those things leaves me feeling a little useless. 

Does anyone have some advice, or personal experience with this?

Thanks. 

[Chris_B]

Hi CB33, welcome to the forums.

I'm not aware of any BPD-specific forums that are private, eg. you have to be a member and logged in to be able to read posts. Most forums are open. Of Australian-based sites that I know of, dNet requires you to be a member before you can read posts, but their main focus is depression so I'm not sure how many members with BPD they have.

For carers forums, we have one here you can look at, or there's the SANE Forums.

Internationally, BPD Family provides forums for both partners/family members and people with BPD themselves, but again those forums are open and can be read by anyone.

Here on our forums, we make sure that our users stay anonymous by using a nickname to post with, and not sharing personally-identifying information, such as specific suburb or town where you live, hospitals or clinics you attend etc.

Hope this helps.

[mikipauline]

Hi, i'm 15 and have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescence with underlying major depression and panic disorder/anxiety. I've been at CYMHS for 18 months now and i currently see a member from my mental health team (psychiatrists, psychologists, OT, MH nurses, doctors for meds) twice a week (depends on what i need on that day for who i see). I have been admitted to the acute psychiatric ward 4 times and i am going back there later this week for a 5th time. but this time it's a planned admission and not an involuntary crisis management thing. So basically i've done CBT for the depression and anxiety and then vie done DBT. but we are trying another round of DBT. i havent improved, if anything my mental health is getting worse. any advice on how to get better again?

[5Mack]

Hi can anyone please tell me where I can find a support group in Melbourne???

i just want a group of people who understand...everyone else think they know what I need to do but no one really seems to get it and I feel so lonely and frustrated.

Thanks battlers.

[james1]

Hi mikipauline,

Sorry about the delayed response. We sometimes miss posts on longer running threads as they look like they've been looked at already.

From what I've read, depression and anxiety often don't see long-term improvements without treating the BPD symptoms so it is good that you are undergoing DBT. That said, DBT didn't really work for me and I also gave Schema Therapy a go which wasn't so great either. Oddly, despite the two supposed best treatments not working for me, another therapy called TFP has been helping.

I say that not because I'm suggesting a change in therapy - that has to come from a discussion with your doctors - but because I wanted to point out that therapy is a very individual process. For some, it's a straight forward process with one treatment that works. For others, we go backwards then forwards then stumble and slow down...but the key thing is to remember that there is always the option to keep going forward.

Have you spoken to your doctors about your worry with not getting better? It's important that you have that close relationship with them so you can have discussions about your mental health plan. They can't tell you what's in your head. It's your job to tell them how you're feeling about the treatment and your worry about it not working.

Still, you're doing very well to hang in there despite the setbacks. I was floating around aimlessly for about a year before I figured out how to manage the depression brought upon by my BPD symptoms, but I got there in the end, and I think you can too 🙂

James

James

[james1]

Hey 5Mack,

I don't know of any but when I was looking into it, I saw there's a thing called Spectrum which is a BPD organisation based in Melbourne. They may be able to point you in the right direction. I've never been able to find one around Sydney unfortunately, but my way of coping, which may be different to yours, has been to try and just accept the BPD label, then move on to, 'How can I better integrate with others?' Between the forums here (there are a few with BPD I've spoken to in the past year) and my psychologist, I feel I have enough spaces to talk about my BPD symptoms without being judged. I also have one friend who doesn't understand, but tries, and that is enough for me.

If you do want to talk about your particular experiences - and it sounds like you have quite a story to tell - I'd recommend starting your own thread because this one is quite long and your post could get missed.

It'd be lovely to hear more from you if you feel safe and comfortable here.

James

P.s. actually I forgot to mention there's a few threads on the long term journey board about BPD which you're free to have a read of. I think they might be a bit inactive at the moment though, which is why I'd suggest starting your own.

[Carissima]

Hi 5Mack

Im working through a great workbook on DBT therapy at the moment, by myself pretty much but with feedback from my therapist. It's been really useful and actually surprisingly interesting and also effective! It seems so simple but it's tapping into my memories and producing some cool things, like music techniques I learnt years ago but had forgotten, which I use to distract and break extreme anxiety whilst Im driving, where I often get really nervous. The workbook focuses very slowly and gently on ideas so I don't feel overwhelmed which can happen easily if so look st the big picture of all my behaviors and history, and it has very practical suggestions and exercises. I've gained a lot of confidence in coping already and i'm only on chapter 3 haha. Worth looking at something like that maybe? Have you tried any dbt?

[Carissima]

Hi James

and everyone else writing ,

Ive only just really accepted the reality of my unwellness, and zip was railing against it and feeling very kind of angry about it, maybe more sad than angry, even though I'm already doing really helpful treatment and also 12 step work , which is a huge complement, and yoga.... but finding these forums is wonderful, like a freedom to talk without shame at last, and I can read my own story in much of what you are all writing. It's very comforting:) Thankyou so much.

Carissima

[james1]

Hey Carissima,

It's great to hear you've been working through the DBT. I think having a plan is so much better than having a diagnosis because then you really feel like you've got some level of control.

I'm not sure if you have made a separate thread already, but I'd certainly love to hear more of your story if you're willing to share. It sounds like you've had an...interesting past so far, but really taking big steps forward now.

Good on you 🙂

James

[NKate]

Hi there,

This is my first post. I have BPD and have known only for about 3 months. I have been seeing a psychologist for more than 10 years and so am quite aware, doing a form of meditation called Yoga Nidra very regularly. I am blessed to have a very understanding and supportive partner of 15 years or so and 2 amazing children.

At the moment, I am finding it difficult to find value in myself. I am going in and out of the space of being okay with myself and then feeling isolated and this incredible emptiness that is so overwelming and for no apparent reason. Hence I start feeling the emptiness and then the cycle goes around. I have unfortunately used up most of my MH plan visits but still need ongoing support.

What have others done to help in finding their own value?

I was wondering if anyone has any ideas, books, online support groups or their own lived experience.

Thanks in advance,

Kate

[james1]

Hey Kate,

Welcome to the forums! It's lovely to have you here.

It sounds like the BPD diagnosis is very new for you even if the actual symptoms themselves are very familiar.

In terms of finding my own value, I am not sure what symptoms of BPD you have, but I suffer from a lack of identity so while trying to "talk myself up" by reaffirming positives about myself helps other people, it doesn't help me so much.

I haven't been super successful at finding another way at finding my own value (hence why I'm still seeing my psychologist weekly) but I have gotten better at avoiding exacerbating my times of emptiness. For me, it's just a matter of knowing that the sense of self will come back, so I just try to keep to a routine and keep working on my everchanging hobbies.

Speaking of which - that's one of the things I've tried to do. In the "good times", I write things down about myself and my hobbies and things I've done, and I put them places where I'll see them like on the wall. That way, when I'm in the empty times, I have a physical reminder. I still feel empty, but I suppose the more we get used to the idea that past me-ness doesn't mean it's exclusively the past me. It might just be a smaller, less important part of me now. I can still write well, even if I'm not writing at all now.

If you don't mind me asking, is this something you've ever spoken to your psychologist about & how has that gone?

James