I know exercise is good for me and I want to get started but I just can't...

[Steven1]

Hi everyone, I am new to the forums and need some help getting started with exercise.

I currently do NOTHING physical and my job is also sedentary. I really want to exercise for my health and for my depression. There are a few things holding me back but the one I am really struggling with is being self conscious and worrying people will laugh at me. I have a FREE GYM at work but have only used it once in over 3 years due to being self conscious.

I am very thin (people make comments about my weight a lot) and I am worried that if people at work see me in gym clothes they are going to laugh at my skinny legs, lack of muscle and question why am I there. I also know nothing about weights or fitness and don't know how to use gym equipment. I work in a male dominated, fairly macho environment so there isn't a lot of support or help with getting started!

Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated 🙂

[Steven1]

Hey guys. I would love to be posting now and telling you that I went to the gym and I loved it and it went really well, however that is not the case. I am still procrastinating and making excuses!

So that I am accountable - here is my goal: I am going to go on Friday after I finish my shift at work. I am going to train for at least 30 mins and then I will report back to you on how it went. I just have to stop avoiding it and GO!

Not making excuses but I am struggling a bit at the moment and finding it really hard to talk about what I am going through with my wife. Feel very alone and isolated. I know this exercise will be a good thing so I am doing it Friday. Report back to you all soon. Thanks Beltane and Turtle and White Rose for your replies too. I have read them all and appreciate your comments and suggestions. One step at a time. Once I get started I hope to pursue other things such as your suggestions of crossfit and pilates

[Neil_1]

Hi Steven

Thanx for your latest post;   this one sounds full of promise and the showing that your now willing to take that next step.

The saying that the first step is the most difficult or the hardest is said because it’s damn true.  But once you can make that first step, the rest of your body will follow and with all things being equal, a 2nd step will follow.

Have you been able to organise with your mate about getting him to go along with you on Friday after work?   That could be another motivating factor for you;   in fact, if there’s a possibility of him being available on a more regular basis, that will be another good push for you.

Just with Friday, remember to start small and easy – no weight lifting records to be completed – just get there and do some exercises in the first instance;  and also remember, that come Saturday and possibly Sunday, you’ll probably feel the after effects of the workout with muscle soreness, in the area of the body you worked.  And as long as it’s not a pinching kind of sharp pain, then the follow up body pain is always a good pain.  In fact, call me a sadist, but I really enjoy and look forward to it;  I know that I’ve had an awesome session with DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness).

Cheers

Neil

Ps:  congratulations Turtle on your awesome walking achievement for 2015;   one month down and still going strong.   Hey, not sure if you’ve been able to monitor or measure, but it’d be interesting to know how far you walked (distance).   When I go out for a run, I come back and plot it out on a site called:  ‘runmyroute’;  need to click through a few things to get to where you leave from and then plot your course with a series of mouse clicks over where you went.  Although, perhaps this may not be for you, just thought I’d let you know about it.

[Turtle1]

Good luck for Friday.  I find I over think things, when I have to do something that I feel very anxious about, so perhaps try not to think about it too much.  Great that you have a goal set in place. 

[Beltane]

Turtle1: there's a cool iphone app (and possible on other smartphones) called 'RunKeeper". although called "Run" keeper, it also allows you to record bicycles, walking- all sorts of things. It basically works using your GPS through your phone- so you open the app and press "start" when you start walking, then 'stop" when you finish. Along the way it gives you updates on how far you've travelled in what time, and at the end shows you a map of where you walked, how far you walked, average speed/ top speed etc.

Steven1: well its Friday evening now and i'm looking forward to your post to see how you went! I hope you managed to make it to the gym at least for a little while, and that you enjoyed your workout!
Neil is right- you probably will get a bit of muscle soreness. This is to be expected, if you're not used to exercise than it'll be pretty hard the first few weeks. As someone who recently started Crossfit 4 days a week i can guarantee that while the first week was both mentally AND physically very challenging, it definitely gets easier. Now i LOVE the challenge- i love seeing what my body (and mind) can do that I dont think they can do. And what you cant do today, you'll probably be able to do tomorrow/ next week/ next month.

at Crossfit, the coaches right the program for the day on the board- and you dont know what it is until you arrive for your workout. i love it when i arrive and i see the workout planned and i'm like "NO WAY can i do that". Well firstly, workouts are scaled to suit the level of ability, but even so its still a massive challenge... but what i LOVE is when i do the workout: its challenging both physically and mentally, and uncomfortable and hard, and often i fight my own mind which goes "you cant do that, you cant do it" and my body which is yelling "i'm puffed out, i'm tired, i want to stop". but i beat them both and get to the end and then i just stand there smiling and laughing because once again, i proved my own doubts wrong.

Its actually really helping with my overall anxiety, as well as other things i challenge myself too. I love being able to say to that anxious voice in my head that goes "you're a failure, you cant achieve this", and i can say "actually, i've done that, and this, and that so i can do this too, just watch me!"

its very addictive to prove your own doubts wrong 😛

[Steven1]

Hi all. Good news - I went to the gym today for 30 mins! 🙂 I also did a 30 minute walk yesterday. I am so grateful to you all for your support. I feel like I am on the right track and even after these two days of exercise, my mood is better.

At the gym today I was brave and wore shorts! And there was no one else in there so I worried for nothing! I did a bit on the treadmill and cross trainer and rowing machine and a few weights.

I still feel like I don't really know what I am doing but at least I have taken the plunge and started. My mate didn't go with me today.

I want to have a clear goal but I am not sure what I want to achieve. I don't want to bulk up as such and I don't need to lose weight. Is it alright if I am just exercising for my fitness and mental health? I am not really good at goal setting. Suggestions are welcome. Thanks again all. 🙂

[Beltane]

YES!!!!! That is so awesome!!!! We knew you could do it!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!

Now the next time you feel really anxious, you can remind yourself of this wonderful success, and hopefully that will give you some strength!!!

Yes it totally is ok to just exercise for whatever reason you want! And frankly, i think that 'for physical and mental health" is a very good reason!!!! A fantastic reason!!! What could be more important right now than your physical and mental health? You dont have to have bulging muscles like a bodybuilder to be healthy- exercise is fantastic!!!

If you are exercising purely for the benefits it brings you mentally and physically, than i would hope you would choose something that is enjoyable to you. Maybe you'll love going to the gym once you get used to everything and know the equipment, know your body, know your limits and your challenges. It could be a great way to overcome those challenges and extend your limits!

If you find yourself not enjoying it and not getting the full benefit you could be out of it, there are plenty of cheap or free ways to exercise. I bet your local footy/ cricket/ soccer team is always looking for members; you might make some friends!

[Pixie15]

Hi Steven1,

Thanks for the good news. I am cheering for you from my chair.

Grateful.

[OhmeOhmy]

Hi Stephen1,

This is the first time I have posted and I wanted to say I'm so glad you made it to the gym, well done.  I have been struggling to get myself out of this depression that I'm in and know that exercise is exactly what I need to do to help myself.  I feel so drained and tired and haven't had the energy to get started but having read your posts I feel motivated by your willingness to put yourself out there and to take the steps you need to take to feel better.  Thank you for sharing.  Tomorrow I will go for a walk for an hour.

[Neil_1]

Hi Steven

Mate, that’s awesome to hear about your session at the gym the other day.  How did you pull up the next day after a bout of exercise with weights?   Not too sore I hope?

I hope you had a day off or even both on the weekend as a bit of a reward after your first exercise efforts.  It’s pleasing to hear though;  and stay with us here if you feel you’d like too.  We’d love to keep hearing from you on this subject;  and hopefully between a few of us, we’ll be able to give you some “ok pointers” and keep steering you on the right track.

And just as Beltane said, Yes it’s absolutely fine to be exercising just for your physical and mental health.  And to me, that is the goal right there – to exercise to help yourself physically and as a result of that, it also helps the mental state as well.  So perhaps you can set a goal that you’d like to say, workout 3 times a week in the gym;  or 2 times in the gym and go for at least one walk per week?    Just thoughts and suggestions, but that’s just as a starting point;  then you can play around with that to whatever you might feel as being more suitable.

So you don’t need to have goals such as wishing to pack on muscle or to reduce your weight.  It’s a different ball game anyway for the option to be building muscle, so no need for me to take you down that track.  But for you to simply get in there and use the weights;  perform the exercises correctly while using a weight that you’re comfortable with.  What would be good though is if you can advise your mate of this and so he can let you know what machines/exercises relate to which muscle/body group – so that you get an overall body workout and that you don’t overload in one particular area and not the other.  What I’m getting at here is that the chest isn’t worked too much and the opposing group, the back is ignored.  That sort of thing.

Anyway, I’ve rambled on again – we do hope to hear back from you Steven.

Cheers

Neil

[zailleh]

Hey Stephen!

So glad you've started out. I just wanted to give you some extra tips as I am a qualified personal trainer!

Steven1 said:
I want to have a clear goal but I am not sure what I want to achieve. I don't want to bulk up as such and I don't need to lose weight. Is it alright if I am just exercising for my fitness and mental health? I am not really good at goal setting. Suggestions are welcome. Thanks again all. 🙂

Is it alright if you just exercise for mental wellbeing? That's a silly question, my friend, of course it is!

Start off by setting a goal in minutes/exercise sessions per week. Don't kick yourself about what you do or don't do in those sessions, count 'attendance' as a win. Say 3 times the first week, when you achieve that, think about increasing that to 4 and then 5. Once you hit 5 times per week, think about increasing the challenge of each session a little bit. Maybe just increase the time. Instead of spending 30 minutes in the gym each session, bump that up to 45. Once you hit 45, change your goal so that each workout is more intense. You see where I'm going here?

To summarise, set your goal as something like you've said "To be fit and happy". Break that down into smaller goals that are more relevant and have a shorter time-frame. Celebrate the achievement and change the goal, the next rung on the ladder.

And remember, it doesn't matter how small you start. It doesn't matter how small your steps; as long as you keep making those steps you'll keep on making changes and feeling better and being fitter.

I realise this is basically but what Neil said above, but I hope it's given a bit more depth to it and maybe a few more examples.

Looking forward to hearing back on how you're going. If you've got any more specific questions feel free to ask them as well.

~Zailleh