Getting through Christmas

[james1]

Hi,

I wanted to start this thread because there are a lot of people here, and elsewhere in our lives, who struggle during the Christmas period. Depending on my personal circumstances, I'm one of those people and Christmas can really bring out the loneliness in me. So I thought it would be nice to start a little thread where we can share either what we plan to do over Christmas, perhaps some things that we'd like to do, or even what helps you get through Christmas if it is a difficult time for you.

I am quite prone to feeling exceptionally lonely over Christmas, and I don't particularly enjoy family gatherings (difficult history), so the biggest thing I did this year was I made sure I could bring my dog along. I'll take him for a nice walk tomorrow night, perhaps go looking at lights in our covid-safe car, and he'll be with me at lunch on Christmas Day.

Another thing I'd like to do on Christmas Day is to get a coffee from my local coffee shop, and hopefully wish them a merry christmas, as I quite like the people who work there.

James

[Bara]

I’ve not replyed to a post before or been on a forum.
No...I’m not 2000 years old, just not big on social media etc.
I also realise this is belated but I was looking for like minded people at Christmas and it’s taken me a few days to find you all. I dislike Christmas for most of the reasons you all do.

The Optus ads that depict a fantasy life designed to reduce you to a quivering mess of inadequacies that you could fix if you sign up straight away.

The pity invitations to others peoples family Christmas events that didn’t come this year anyway.

The shut down of the normal world that helps me feel connected in some small way to my community.

The reminders my family are 2000 odd km away and have all but forgotten me after 25 years absent anyway.

Watching my Ex catch up with what was ‘our’ friends.

Being positive with my 14 year old and making the most of what we have.

Even in all that I see the good and am grateful but for a moment I’m going to just be and tell you all how draining it is to go through this every 12 months and the universe would do the mental health of many a favour if they chilled and gave the whole thing an ‘it’s ok to be ordinary’ overhaul.

Good to talk🙂

[Bara]

I may have just posted only to you, sorry. Like I said, unfamiliar territory.

[Lillylane]

Hi Bara,

Good to talk to you too! I’m glad you found this thread and the BB forums.

I can certainly relate. I don’t use social media and it took me a while to have a go at posting here. Very glad I did though.

There are so many expectations attached to this time of year and I think many people find it draining. I’m sorry that it’s brought up some painful reminders for you at this time. I can assure you you’re not alone here.

Thanks for posting and I hope finding some like-minded people and discussions on these topics has been helpful.

lillylane

[Guest_4643]

Hello James, thank you for making this thread. In my personal experiences, I find a lot of people think that ocassions such as Christmas are a happy time for everybody. They're not and that needs to be recognised more. Yes Christmas, Birthdays etc can be nice getting gifts if you're able to afford things, and so forth. But i feel sorry for those who can't have presents, don't have houses, food, and other things.

My Christmases & Birthdays are always lonely, it's just my Parents & I. yes I'm lucky to have them because some people don't. But I just wish I had even 1 person to celebrate with, aswell as them. I don't have my Grandparents anymore (Mum's, Dad's passed away before I was born) but i didn't see them as much as I would've liked to but thats another thing in itself.

[smallwolf]

Sorry about the delayed response to your reply. Can I ask if you are a "big" phone user? You said you found you had to put your phone away.

I am not a big phone user. I have it more out of necessity in some ways. I would not say that I had to put my phone away on Christmas day but things like reading for me are enjoying. The rest of my family were on their phones.

Perhaps a positive from your post is you recognised the phone was unhelpful and you were able to find something that gave you pleasure?

[james1]

Hi all,

Classic me, I posted and disappeared for a while to deal with loneliness on my own haha.

smallwolf - I had a quiet Christmas, and I spent the time with my dog which was nice. I didn't get to buy a coffee because the line was around the corner basically from 8AM to 1PM! I got my coffee on Boxing Day though, so that was nice.

Bananie1234 - Ah I'm so sorry to hear about all the plans to spend time with loved ones that didn't come off. That must be so disappointing. I was meant to spend some of this holiday period with my closest friends but then Sydney got hit by the new outbreak and I can't get to them in Canberra. I hope the hike was nice!

Lillylane - I'm glad you've found this thread and the BeyondBlue forums helpful and I'm sorry to hear a bit about your family history. It sounds like a real challenge, and I can understand the current relationship problems must make that feel even worse. I've had a similar thing this year where my own relationship broke down which makes this period of the year very challenging.

quirkywords - nice to hear from you. It was alright as I mentioned to smallwolf. New year's eve and day are the next hurdles and then once I'm back into my daily routine, and hopefully get to go see my newborn godson in Canberra, it won't feel as lonely. I hope you're well!

golden82 - a volunteer centre next year sounds like it would be lovely. that's an excellent idea 🙂

Bara - thanks for posting here! It's nice to hear from you. 'Making the most of what we have' is an idea that brings me such mixed feelings. I find it both motivating, like the idea of making lemonade out of lemons, yet so sad that all I got was lemons. Oh well. I hope you and your 14 year old are doing well 🙂

mb20lover - Yes, I understand that. I also have my sister and my mother, father and stepfather here, and of course my dog and rabbit and bird. But in my version of a perfect christmas and birthday and new year, I'd also have someone special to celebrate with. Thanks for posting

[Guest_4643]

I know how you feel James, I wish I had somebody, even just 1 person other than my parents to celebrate with.

[Lillylane]

Hi Smallwolf,

I’m not sure if I’m a ‘big’ phone user - I could be without realising it. Often when feeling anxious, I’ll reach for my phone for distraction.

Yes, it was a good thing to realise I don’t need to always have my phone on me. I’ve been doing more outside tasks (weather permitting) and now leave my phone indoors. I figure if anyone desperately needs me they will keep ringing and I’ll still hear it from outside.

L.

[Bananie1234]

Hi James & quirkywords

Xmas turned out fine, the hike was great, half of us are girls who also couldn’t go home so it was comforting. Pretty sure my plan to Melbourne is now ruined. I just feel so stuck. Im too scared to leave QLD, not cos I’m scared of the virus but with the border changing all the time, I don’t want to get stuck and have to pay for isolation. it’s also not like I don’t want to tour around QLD, it’s just hard when your closest people are not in QLD. And when your loved ones are overseas

its just never ending, everybody is looking forward to 2021 but i just know it’s another bad day for me. Its already hard enough with international border closure,let alone domestic border closure. I’m exhausted. My mind was all over the place and now my body is catching up. For the past few days, i just feel really nervous out of nowhere and I couldn’t convince myself to calm down.