Finding your inner calm

[Petal22]

Hi Everyone,

This thread is about finding your inner calm, its something I've worked on for the past four and a half years.

"One of the best lessons in life is how to master how to remain calm"

Mastering how to remain calm takes inner work but once you can master it your inner would becomes very peaceful.

Its something that needs to be tackled internally, sometimes we 'react' to certain things instead of responding.

We all have the choice of how we will respond to something it just takes practice.

If something is going to cause you to lash out and react in a negative way, before you do this you need ask yourself is it really worth it?

If you can just remain calm in this instance your inner world will thank you for it, our minds tend to race forward with reactions but if you can just allow the mind to do this and "watch it" but let your body and internal self to stay deep seated in "watching" and not responding you will see how your inner calm can start to take place.

We all have a inner breath, learn to follow this breath and use it as an anchor and a grounding tool.

If we can learn to control our breathing everything becomes more calmer and we have more clarity in the moment.

Everything takes practice but if this is something that will eventually bring you more inner peace then its practice well spent.. life is a journey and if we can learn how to master how to remain calm in every situation we win.

Practice and perseverance will always get you over the line.

[Petal22]

Self acceptance

Learning to fully accept yourself for yourself will also help you to find your inner calm.

Sometimes we are our own worst critic, instead of telling ourselves negative things about ourselves let’s just try to accept ourselves for the way we are.

When our mind brings up negative things about ourselves just allow that thought to be there and then float away we don’t have to tie ourselves to this thought.

Try to look at yourself in the mirror and express love to yourself for the way you are.

Once we can fully accept ourselves for ourselves everything else will fall away and the real you will be revealed and will shine on through.

[sbella02]

Love this, as somebody who struggles with self-esteem.

Self-acceptance is such a complex topic. There can be so many facets, and our level of self-acceptance may fluctuate over time. In psychology, we learn about the concept of a hierarchy of needs; above physiological, safety, and social needs, esteem sits near the top, and "self-actualisation" forms the peak of the hypothetical pyramid of needs. Humans need to have love and respect for themselves in order to live a fulfilling life and achieve our full potential.

Do you have any advice for people (like myself) needing to boost our self-esteem?

[Petal22]

Thank you sbella, 😊 Im glad you love this post.

I understand

Humans do need to have love and respect for themselves, once you can truly do this for yourself then you will be unstoppable everything will fly straight off you and not much will bother you because you have a strong foundation for yourself.

My advice for boosting self esteem is to really love yourself first love all of your self. If you can hold that inner love then everything will fall into perspective.

Sometimes if we don’t fully love ourselves for ourselves then we tend to pull ourselves down by all of the negativity towards ourselves, sometimes our minds will just try to tell us negative things about ourselves which can sometimes come from being conditioned a certain way or by what others negativity say to us about ourselves… sometimes these things try to stick to us because in some way we have believed them and taken this into our belief system. Which can leave our self esteem damaged.

The good news is that you can change all of this you can challenge your beliefs and then change them.

You deserve all of the love you can give yourself which will increase your self esteem…… always tell yourself great things about yourself and always believe that great things are coming your way.

Your a beautiful human being and you deserve to raise yourself up…….

[Petal22]

Forgiveness

Practicing forgiveness will also help to lead us to our inner calm.

Forgive others,

not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

Sometimes we can hold onto certain things in our life that other people have done to us and it’s hurt us on the inside.

By holding onto this hurt it only makes our internal system unsettled.

If we can choose to forgive it creates a space inside ourselves a space for healing and calmness.

Maybe you could try this if your feeling as though your internal system needs calm.

Remember you are doing this for you and not anytime else.

❤️🙏

[Petal22]

Just a quote that I came along today that I wanted to share:

"To face challenges with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden"

If a challenge arises and you choose to look at it with a calm mind you really can see all of the different ways that your reaction affects your inner calm.

Remember not all challenges are sent to us to cause us pain some challenges are here to clear our path.

A calm mind will always look for opportunity in any situation.

[Petal22]

Letting Go

Letting go of certain things that has happened in your life can also help you to find your inner calm.

You may have a situation that plays over and over again in your mind a situation that doesn’t serve you for your higher good it only brings you down.

By replaying this situation over and over again in your mind you are re living it with your emotions and thoughts.

When your mind brings this situation up you can choose to just let it go.

You may ask how do I just let it go?

When your mind brings it up just re direct your attention onto something in the present moment and simply say to yourself “ let it go”………..

You may have to repeat the above until your mind learns automatically to just let it go.

It takes practice but once you practice this you can simply say to your self let it go and it will go……… it will be automatic.

❤️🙏

[Petal22]

Mindful breathing for strong emotions by Thich Nhat Hanh

Sometimes we can experience strong emotions the below practice may help you to deal with these easier and allow them to pass and in turn help to find your inner calm.

” An emotion is something like a storm and you feel, that it is coming.”

The practice of mindful breathing is very important.

We should not wait until the strong emotion comes.

In order to practice

We have to train ourselves with practice so that when the emotion comes naturally, we will remember the practice.

An emotion is something like a storm and you feel that it is coming and if you notice that the strong emotion is coming you prepare yourself in order to receive it and handle it.

Drop anything you are doing.

Sit down or lie down and wait for it while practicing mindful breathing.

In the sitting or in the lying position you breathe in and become aware of the rising and falling of your abdomen.

This is deep breathing

For a strong emotion we need deep belly breathing, we breathe in, in such a way that our stomach will rise as high as possible and when we breathe out we bring it down as much as possible.

if you are in a sitting position position, you may like to put your hand here to feel the rising and falling of your abdomen .

or if you are in the laying position, you may do the same.

Instead of staying here on the level of the brain, you bring your mind down and focus your attention down here on the level of the naval.

[Petal22]

Comparing yourself to others

Sometimes we can find ourselves comparing ourselves to others.

By comparing ourselves to others it makes our internal system feel unsettled because it goes against our love and gratefulness for ourselves.

When you find yourself comparing yourself to others remind yourself that you are you and you are a beautiful human being and love yourself, take your attention of the need to compare yourself to others.

There is only one of you in this world and this in itself is a miracle.... YOU are a miracle

Embrace the joy of life and the miracle that you are.

This will create a joyful feeling inside yourself and lead you to your inner calm.

[Petal22]

If you can "calmly observe" our feelings this will help to lead you to your inner calm.

Remember it takes practice.

By: Thich Nhat Hanh

When an unpleasant feeling, physical or mental, arises in him, the wise man does not worry, complain, weep, pound his chest, pull his hair, torture his body and mind, or faint.

He calmly observes his feeling and is aware that it is only a feeling. He knows that he is not that feeling, and he is not caught by the feeling. Therefore, the pain cannot bind him.

[ladybird22]

Thanks Petal for sharing this thread. I've read through some of the posts and really think I'm going to try yo practice mediation and focusing on my breathing. I'm going to start with just a 2-3 mins when I'm alone and build it up from there.

I know how to do it, I know I should do it as it would benefit my health but I just forget to do it.

I woke up this morning in a snappy mood, disinterested in life and sensitive to everything around me. After a few words with my partner I realised my attitude needed changing. So I sat and had my cup of tea while looking outside. I slowed my breath down and kept looking out the window only for about 2 minutes which did help. Then I sat down with my partner and we tried to find some common ground for something to look forward to together.

He's not working, sleeps in too late, has been unwell, but I can see he's losing his confidence. I know it's his choice but it does affect me greatly because I'm living with him.

We are both very concerned about my daughters (not his) eviction and all her problems. So we worked out we need a bit of personal space more often and we need "something to look forward to", which is a biggie for me.

Finding my inner calm has always been helped by distracting myself for a while. Staying overnight somewhere if I can afford it, movies on the big screen & a coffee n cake somewhere new and special. It's like a change of scenery (even visiting a new library) is distracting my mind from all the problems in my mind, sort of like mind respite.

But for today while I'm on my own for a short time I will mediate for 5 minutes. I need to practise thus so I can cope, so I can find my inner calm which is inside me somewhere.

Thank you 🙏