Facebook...The Good or the Bad...Your Say!

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

Without a doubt Facebook is one of the best social media sites. I have been on FB for a long time and found it invaluable yet very stressful at times whilst having anxiety and/or depression or even just checking it every day.

Your views on FB, its impact on your mental health, well being, whether good or not so good are more than welcome.

Thankyou for reading my thread topic!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi SM

Moon made some excellent comments above where FB can be a drain if we are already in a bad place

You have a great day too SM.....You must be fit!

Paul

[Moonstruck]

Oh God BlondGuy...I did it again! tonight, I did it again! Browsing around the computer and couldn't resist seeing what my "friends" were doing.....it was awful. Made me so damn depressed , how am I going to keep away from the damn thing? Have to made that note on the fridge more prominent to Keep Off FB...give myself a break! At least for a while.

They are all going to Xmas celebrations and Church things and Nativity Pageants and putting funny clips about animals doing cute Xmassy things and what they're getting their partners for Xmas...and Office Xmas Parties with Santa visiting and toasting each other at the fabulous year their business has had and on and on and on......

And these are nice regular people......I should be happy for them. They have never done anything bad to me...but it makes me feel terrible seeing their Facebook entries!!

What is my life? Nothing..empty..compared to theirs. I don't have any Office Xmas Parties to go to, no lunches I've been invited to, no pets doing cute stuff...no gorgeous present from a loving partner to show off.....nothing! Why do I check Facebook when this is what it does to me?

[blondguy]

Hey Moon....There are a couple of posters that gave you some compliments in the last few days above 🙂

There are so many pro's and con's Moon with FB. I do hear you about the posts that are written to benefit the poster. As you know I am in my 50's and find FB (even with the privacy controls enabled) way too competitive with my 'tired' mind....

Maybe its just me but FB can leave me feeling somewhat inadequate with all the 'fun' people are having lol

You have been on the forums for a very long time Moon........If you want you can call me Paul 🙂

My Kindest as always

Paul

[suba]

Hi all,

I personally don't use FB but my wife does, she started it back a few years ago when we travelled overseas to keep in contact with our families and I must say it was great, after returning home she continued using it but only with the family and a very small circle of friends.

She does look through other peoples posts and some of the things we see are just plain stupid, some people do not have much in their lives when you see some the posts, but each to their own.

The biggest problem I see is with our young people, they finish school for the day and straight onto FB and most of what they see and read is something bad about them or someone they know what ever happened to playing sport, going for a ride on your bike to meet up with friends or just spending time with family members, its no wonder our youth of today are stressed out.

If you are on FB you need to have the discipline to use it for all the good reasons and to make your and other peoples day happy not to abuse or drag people down, or am I just a grumpy old man.

[Sad_Mushroom]

Moonstruck,

When I was growing up all my dad's friends and neighbours had this "keep up with the Jones's thing" (sorry to people with the surname Jones)

If one got a fish tank, then someone else got a fishpond, the next person went for a weeks fishing...IT WAS RIDICULOUS! Social competition. Each trying to have better and be better than the next person. For what purpose? To appear to be in a better social standing than the next person!

Facebook is much the same but online. People think that if "other people" think they are doing great, then it must be true. Not many will admit to overspending and the financial worries they are facing or the stress and anxiety of 'trying to appear' to be equal to all the others posting.

I was invited to a work Christmas party. I didn't go because I don't really like anyone that was going. I have a cute dog but if anyone thinks I'm going to humiliate her by forcing her into a Santa suit just so I can post with the "Jones's" on facebook they have another thing coming.

It's all in the perspective Moon. You have a wonderful bunch of friends here who cannot wait to hear from you and look for your words of wisdom on threads. The comments you share are not in competition with the Jones's they are from your heart. THAT is what Christmas is about. Caring and being there for others. Not pets in poses or acting jolly because people see it as the 'norm'.

I'm not sure what a nice regular person is as the nicest 2 people I know are both on medication and will be alone at Christmas...just like me! I do know what you mean though but I think that even the people you speak of are worrying about expenses and wearing the right dress etc and fitting in with the social norm.

Facebook is just the place that everyone can pretend to be just as good or as bad as everyone else they are trying to keep up with. Obviously, some will be living it good but the rest are just trying to keep up to meet social standards.

Be safe Moon and take care. I don't think I've replied to you before but I like reading your posts.

SM

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi Paul,

One thing that I haven't mentioned but really "yuks" me with facebook is the 'lost person/adoption groups'.

One rule that professional researchers have is "not to provide someone with someone else's personal information"

As a researcher, we have no idea if the person looking is who they say they are. For all we know the person looking might be an ex-spouse or someone looking to cause harm.

When we find someone we never provide the looker with those details. We contact the person that we have found and let them know the details of the person looking. It is then up to the found person to choose if they wish to make contact with the person looking.

On the facebook groups, not only do they provide the looker with the person's information but most times they post it on facebook for everyone to see.

Larger paysites (like Ancestry etc) stopped this years ago but as facebook is not moderated (other than the people who make the groups) it still goes on. As laws in the USA are different to those in Australia and facebook is USA based, we are not covered by the same Australian privacy laws as would be on most other sites.

SM

[Sad_Mushroom]

Hi suba,

Nice to meet you.

In high school now (not sure about younger grades) the kids actually have to have facebook. Updates for assignments, exams and one-on-one questions/talks with teachers is all done via facebook 'year groups'.

Good in the sense the kids can ask a teacher a question after school or on weekends but bad in the way that rather than going to a library or meeting 'project' mates to finish projects, they just go onto facebook and do all the work/chat there.

My son even sent projects to his teacher via facebook rather than go to school and hand in paperwork.

How times change!

SM

[Carla09]

hi Paul,

yes. i have been staying off facebook and have also felt much better...for me it was just the time wasting and the jabs from my mother with her posts... I find it very interesting that facebook CEOs don’t have accounts...

[Carla09]

hi Paul,

I have been off facebook for a while and feel so much better now. Also, since coming on beyond blue it has been very nice talking to you. This kind of polite interaction does not occur on facebook. There are a lot of opinions but not much support

[blondguy]

Hi Carla09

Im sorry that I didnt reply to your post. I am usually pretty quick in responding...My apologies

Carla09 mentioned "I have been off facebook for a while and feel so much better now. Also, since coming on beyond blue it has been very nice talking to you. This kind of polite interaction does not occur on facebook"

Thankyou Carla for your post as Facebook can be a great social media tool except they dont have any moderation which can make it very difficult to communicate even with the privacy controls enabled

Thankyou for your super kind post of how you find the forums Carla 🙂

My kindest

Paul