Facebook...The Good or the Bad...Your Say!

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

Without a doubt Facebook is one of the best social media sites. I have been on FB for a long time and found it invaluable yet very stressful at times whilst having anxiety and/or depression or even just checking it every day.

Your views on FB, its impact on your mental health, well being, whether good or not so good are more than welcome.

Thankyou for reading my thread topic!

my kind thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey RX

Im sorry about the pain that FB has caused to your daughter

Is she okay?

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Hey paul , thought that might've been better here l was just replying to sleepy.though.

But nah mate l'm so sad to say. , that was 3 or 4 mths ago and nope, she's not even remotely ok it'll be with her for yrs l'm afraid . Add everything else that's happened for her nope, we're worried sick .She been to see 4 different counselors and other more serious mental health people though and says they've all been useless but man , just wish we could find someone.

Thanks my friend. rx

[blondguy]

No worries RX

I know you how much you care for your daughter...It breaks my heart to hear about young people and FB. FYI Facebook CEO has been grilled in the US Senate (this week) re the site being addictive/damaging to young people

What about your daughters' GP? Just an idea.....as the GP's have better focus on mental health now than even 10 years ago (maybe a female GP with a mental health focus and a double appointment?) Sorry if thats not helpful

my best to you always RX..my friend..Paul

[Guest_1584]

Yeah it's that bloody dangerous , she's had heaps of crap from it over the yrs and many of the friends have too but this is the one l've dreaded.

But anyway thanks again and yeah l'll suggest that to ex for sure. She's had so much hit that fan it's heartbreaking . We sent her to the gp a few times earlier and they took tests and stuff too but weren't much help on this stuff l'm afraid.

We;re running out of ideas on finding someone tbh she doesn't like any of them never has that stuff but at least in a way that shows some fire so that's on another hand a good thing.

Thanks a lot mate. rx

[ecomama]

Hi rx

I'm sorry your d is finding it difficult to get the right MH support.... I know many groups like Headspace and even BB have a webchat option...

on that point, teenagers / young people... are SO USED to having IRL conversations with their face glued to their phone screen, like they can't put the phone in another room.... EVER.

So.... the webchat option is great to get them IN but it's also there whilst the other stuff like FB / Instagram / Tik Tok etc etc etc lol are going on, ON their laptop at the same time.

I honestly think that some young ppl "don't like" seeing a Counsellor / Psych for a whole hour BECAUSE they are withdrawn from their 'addiction' and it makes them feel REALLY uncomfortable.

My kids even described seeing things scrolling whilst talking to us all.

rx.... like try going for a walk with your D for 30 mins...
see her reaction to leaving her phone at home.

I tried this with my youngest d and the reaction was monstrous.

I think the issue is far deeper than we (older folks) understand.

Maybe NOT that the Counsellors and psychs are the problems but the withdrawal from social media IS.

I went to a lecture at my kids High School a few years ago by a Company supporting youth with managing their hours on technology... yes it's a thing!
They suggested putting our kids on a "screen diet" ugh... try THAT with teens.

SO just like the 12 Step Programs found... it's one thing to have complete avoidance of the addictive substance - like so many of us have done - quit FB all together.

But a completely different issue when it came to "Overeaters Anon"...knowing we actually NEED food but not to overeat.

So like Social Media... it's perceived as "needed" for people to feel connected (as opposed to excluded) but to "go on a DIET" of it is far easier said than done.

I think younger ppl find it near impossible to have a one hour consult with no phone.
Hence "don't like".

Some times it's NOT about "liking". It's about doing what's healthy for yourself.

Fairy Tales are being fabricated as IRL.

EM

[Guest_1584]

Hi em.

Oh God yeah parents knows all about competing phones and gadgets eh , but any counselor worth salt should have ways. But nah, they just haven't been any good yaknow, most of them are so text book bla. Need more than that for young people and that special connectablility with young people. They're very smart cookies, know all the standard jargon before they even sit down yaknow . She's telling me about one with a farting dog. She says this dumb ,,,ahhh, l'll leave that out , thinks her dog's gonna chill us out but the things farting up the room and stinking us out. Add the text book to that one and they lost before she even sits down.

You know, it's a really tough thing for adults too, most shrinks or counselors are pretty standard no talent stuff yaknow. Back in the day l needed them it was a written most were useless, knew you'd walk outa there even more frustrated than before. You felt like sitting down reciting the first page just to get the bs done, yaknow and straight onto something useful- but you'd never get it out of those types anyway, you knew that. And if they're gonna help young people they need a lot more than that again, yaknow, and that's the problem. She wants to see someone, but someone useful.

sorry , l'll have to get back to this one later. Thanks em. rx

[Sophie_M]

Hi randomx,

We're sorry to hear how difficult it has been for you and your daughter to find the right sort of counselling support for you.  It sounds very frustrating for you. It can take time to find someone you're comfortable with. We encourage you and your daughter to keep trying until you find a counsellor you click with. We know this in itself can be somewhat tiresome but it is well worth it.

If you're daughter is 25 or under, it might be worth reaching out to our friends at KidsHelpline for support, advice and referrals. They're available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 or via webchat https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

[Guest_1584]

Thanks very much Sophie muchly appreciated and l didn't realize the kids helpline dealt upto those ages thought they would've been under 18s so that's great to know. l've used parent line quite a bit and they've been brilliant. On the positive side and sorry about the negativity with some of it butttt,l'd also be first to admit the God sent they can be to so many people too, as was with one guy l'd found after much frustration earlier. And one GP too, that really should've been awarded something. She just needs that special one , problem is we're running out of options but now that l know kidsline isn't out of her range though that could just be right down her alley actually if she hasn't already tried it so thanks again.

Hey again em and ahh God yeah , common sense don't lectures they need screne diets , we'd always done that but these days she actually walks away herself , not from us she just feels how damaging too much of it is. We've always walked a lot too and thankfully just this last wk she's just stepping away of her room again and the hurt a little finally and out a bit and also come on a few walks, really proud of her finding the spirit. She's no problem one on one she'll dump the phone if she's interested. Hard enough finding 40yr olds that'll dump the damn phone these days isn't it eh.

Fairy tales ha, you ain't kidding problem is some of the actual factual things really effect her bc she feels like she's gotten nowhere, courses, work, bf's. This yrs been so hard on them too so many can't even get a start with everything been going on , after finally getting through yr 12.

rx

[ecomama]

Dear rx, well she's doing A LOT right if she can walk away from the phone at all lol!

Well done with that one alone.

Next is the "constant comparing oneself to others"... FB and Social Media seem to have a "one upping" on another person all the time. I found it so tiresome.

The sad thing is that young ppl seem to think it's REAL.

Like "everyone is doing ALL these AWESOME things" and it's not like that at all.

One person may be doing THAT thing and another doing ANOTHER thing, but some ppl see that and compile it all into ALL people are doing ALL of it.

Needless to say before all this social media hype we focussed on LOCAL things.

Tbh I think that's all our brain can cope with - a limited number of people and a limited number of things.

If we don't, we become overwhelmed and begin going under or at best treading water.

The focus needs to be on what we can do for ourselves; be it work, study, training, school, family, community, whatever.

EM

[Guest_1584]

She's not bad in that way with fb and the like but as l said , the factual stuff is the real and that can be just as bad bc it's in her face right now.

Things we're talking about are the why's of disbelief l have in so many adults being so sucked into it all, and the phones and all the rest .

But yeah , needless to say alright , the overload is surreal these days it's bad enough on us but especially for kids l really dunno how they cope , l really don't. Yet yeah it's not only an addiction but the way they do everything too now.

l can't stand it myself my phones left on the table, l work at home but outside even inside though unless l;m talking messaging like gf or someone, it's still on the table. Brothers the same, Even at that though l just finished installing a scam blocker just last night. Was getting 10 and 15 scam calls a day which first come up on your call list and then a message so you have click all through to delete the both each time even though you hardly use or carry your phone it's bloody maddening. This things done a great job today,,,so, we see as l get it set better.

Sorry Paul l've ran your thread off track.

rx