Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Guest_4643]

Hey Katy, hi everyone else.

Hmm I didn't hear about the WA or other states being in lockdown, but then again I try to avoid the news because it depresses me.

I'm thinking of you, stay safe.

[blondguy]

Hi Katy...and everyone

what a thoughtful and caring post. You have brought a breath of fresh air into this thread...and the forums!

Katy mentioned 'We're in lockdown here in WA, and it's ok but there's this sort of underlying angst and I've noticed people being a bit short with one another, so I'm trying extra careful to be gentle with people'

I understand there has been some angst re lockdowns with a minority that have been using the forums for their own agenda which are unhelpful where peace of mind is concerned

I like what you are doing Katy....you just made my day 🙂

my kindest....Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

Having lived through lockdown here in Vic I want to really encourage everyone to follow Katy's wonderful example.

From my experience in Vic lockdown makes everyone more anxious than normal but the lovely kind actions of the majority really helps you cope. Little acts of kindness or a fiendly word helps you feel connected a nd as if there is hope for the future. I noticed people stood back to give the room required for safety. When someone forgot their mask they would rush back to their car to get it but I would try to comment on how easy it was to forget so they didn't feel stupid. Encouraging notices appeared on lamposts etc. Nothing big but those tiny acts of kindness & encouragement made lockdown more bearable. I found when I did or said something nice for a stranger I felt better myself.

[quirkywords]

I care for people in the bushfires in Perth and all those whose houses have been destroyed or are in a high risk area.

Do you think if we like and care for ourselves we will like and care for others a d be kind and patient.?

[ecomama]

Hey Katy

Good on you.

I noticed same when we were in 'shut down' ie still allowed out but with many restrictions.

We had a Neighbourhood thing set up most esp for those who lived alone or the elderly.
Our neighbours got together (via phone I assume lol) and organised ONE person to be a contact person for a few streets.

Then if ANYONE needed anything, they could put a ribbon on their letterbox or front door, even a note in their letterbox. The contact person would take their daily walk around those streets and check in. I know this helped alot.

My elderly neighbours (almost 100y old) never asked me for a thing, even though I offered when I saw them peek out. Still, I left stuff for them anonymously just in case.

Hope you guys get through as peacefully and kindly as possible Katy.

Love EM

[blondguy]

Hi ElizabethCP

Thankyou for the caring post and yes those small acts of kindness to others are a godsend to people in pain. Thanks too for taking the time to read and acknowledge Katys post Elizabeth! My best always!

Hey Quirky....I understand the WA wildfires would be painful for you after the loss you experienced 1 year ago

Quirky mentioned 'Do you think if we like and care for ourselves we will like and care for others a d be kind and patient.?'....Absolutely! Its only through my own lived experience that we are truly kind to ourselves when we open up and share our pain.

Hey EM..aka The Bionic Woman...What a wonderful idea about having a Neighborhood support thing set up most, especially for those who lived alone or the elderly.....!

EM added... 'My elderly neighbors (almost 100y old) never asked me for a thing, even though I offered when I saw them peek out. Still, I left stuff for them anonymously just in case' You are wonderful for doing that EM...brilliant

Just a part of Katy's post from Feb 2nd....if anyone hasnt seen/read it..its beautiful

Katy mentioned 'We're in lockdown here in WA, and it's ok but there's this sort of underlying angst and I've noticed people being a bit short with one another, so I'm trying extra careful to be gentle with people. I like that I'm doing that'

Have a good weekend Everyone!

Hugz

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Hey people . Ahhh. wild fires are American Paul mate we have bush fires but then l think l read your Canadian and your American flag there maybe your American , not sure .But yeah l was really surprised to hear about wa over the news never realized they'd lost some serious property over there. Thankfully as l'd hoped the east coast is getting a break this yr touch wood hopefully it stays that way for a few yrs now. Usually does after a bad yr.

The helping poeple is a weird thing for me. Last few yrs l'd like to help some of my family but you know what , l practically have to beg them , it's really weird , but of cours l'm not bgging thm soooo, not much happns. rx

rx

[Guest_4593]

Much appreciation for the responses. Smallwolf, mb20lover,randomx,blondguy its a comfort knowing people are here.

Just reading all the posts after mine. There mostly about w.a .understandable we are in the firing line now ... The whole world has had the worst year 2020...most places hit bad and was instantly put into survival mode. Australian was considered lucky and we are, but I think for must people its been worse because we spent a year waiting for our turn. Now its here and we all fear it..

I and everyone else was looking forward to a new year because 2020 sucked .. im preparing myself because i think 2021 is gonna be worse especially for w.a ....i made a joke yesterday but not sure its a joke we have the plague had the floods, bushfires. Earthquakes ... whens the end of the world.. because this isn't funny and millions of people wont survive it. And its cruel and unfair.

[ecomama]

Dear Guest_4593

It's a difficult time you're going through. Enormously difficult. So many of us on the East Coast can empathise since we had the dreaded bushfires for months, then flooding, then the pandemic.

We didn't have time to come up for air before waves of the next things happening.

Then rotational shut down / lock downs ongoing. Our last one ended only a couple of weeks ago.

Anxiety can become stratospheric, especially if one suffered from anxiety previously.

HOLD strong. Please call helplines for support whenever you need to and encourage others you know to reach out also.

Ppl can become so full of fear and panic but this is the opposite to what will soothe us and keep us okay through it.

Random Acts of Kindness can soothe this.

I called 1 friend per week, just to check in. It was clear many ppl were suffering.

Apparently "survival of the fittest" has been superseded by "survival of the most cooperative"... food for thought.

Hugs Guest_4593. We're all here for you and each other.

EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Hey blondguy Paul!

YEAH I LIKE MYSELF. Okay got that out of the way LOL!

Rx asked a great question... are originally from America?
I wondered about your Profile Pic also.

I told my American fiancee that you call me "the Bionic Woman".
After asking if I know you IRL, to which I said NO. He said to tell you that he agrees. 🤨

I think it's hilarious.

EMxxxx