Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Rufio

great to have you on board...I just saw you helped out on the Christmas2106&New Years Chillout Lounge..Nice1

I wish I thought I was super awesome but having depression I will stick to liking myself but good on you!

I had anxiety for a few years and it was awful. I made the mistake of thinking that I could over it on my own with exercise and eating well and not seeing a therapist.....whoops...I was so wrong.

I just read your great post above...If I can quote you...

"and try to put myself into situations to push myself so i know things are cool...and gives me more self confidence and makes it so i dont worry about my own condition"

You are very pro-active Rufio.....Can I ask how bad the anxiety is when you get it? I used to have chronic anxiety and had trouble in traffic and was always a big time worrier....I just didnt see my GP soon enough and it became worse...until my GP started to work his magic...It took a long time for it to go away though..

Great to have you as part of the family Rufio

my kindest thoughts

Paul

[rufio]

i had a couple panic attacks a few months ago and went to the hospital when i didnt know what it was. i then immediately went to a psychologist that my gp recommended and he was great. i have no stigmas for professional help and i have always felt my well being is the most important thing so i will always seek help. when i was young i decided to always try to find any strategies to fix things, but it did backfire a bit as anxiety was the first thing i couldnt just defeat and i felt worse for a little while. constant nausea, headache, frayed and hypersensitive nerves, and the fear i was going to have a panic attack.

ive steadily been getting better and understanding how to manage it, i am quite proud of myself and will keep working "we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!"

[blondguy]

Hey Rufio

you have really well by taking up the help from your GP as quickly as you did and good on you:-)

I have to compliment you especially on your post as you didnt mention 'fighting' the anxiety....Managing is great as fighting that fear of having another attack only results in increasing the severity of the symptoms..

You are smarter than I am. When I was 23 and the mega panic attacks started I thought I could get over them on my own by eating well and exercising..I was so very wrong....I wasted over 10 years of my life 'fighting' anxiety and getting nowhere until I really 'accepted' the anxiety as an actual illness and embraced my GP's and my psych

Even though the forums are rock solid secure, you have great strength to post and show others the great progress you have made.....and well done to you

The good news is that anxiety (panic disorder) does lose its severity over time especially with regular visits to a therapist....I still see my GP every 8 weeks for a tune up 🙂

Sorry about the late response Rufio...usually I am pretty quick

you are not alone here and great post!

Paul

[rufio]

no worries and thanks ^^

yeah when i tried to 'fight' it it didnt go well. accepting it, working on it and not fearing it seems to be the best way. my psychologist said it can be treated like a phobia in that you can put yourself in situations to feel it so you get more used to it.

everyone is different and nothing is wasted, its great you are doing well ^_^

[1113]

Hi Paul and all,

Love is a confusing concept, really, overall it has so many meanings and can be related to so many different aspects of ones life.

I think its like common sense. Thats also a concept that is vague.

Everyone has a different beleif of love and of whats common.

I don't think you can love yourself, thats vanity.

Anyways, its interesting all the same.

I did reseach on love before posting this, bible, web sites, dictionary etc etc. But im still confuseled aboit it.

Its meaning has been washed away by time!

Atm I'm contented with me.

Which is a huge thing really.

A few months ago I would of happily slept forever.

So.....to be contented is close to loving myself as I could possibly be, without kissing my muscles in the mirror. Lol.

I feel as though i should leave a question otherwise no one will reply.

But i got nothing. So yeah. Hows the weather?

Peace

Matt

[Elizabeth CP]

I think vanity is thinking your better, or more entitled than anyone else. It leads to putting yourself first in a negative way so that others are put down. Love or acceptance or whatever you want to call it is accepting yourself as worthwhile and treating yourself in the same way you would treat someone you cared for. You are not putting yourself up as better than others but nor are you treating yourself badly. The advantage is it leaves you in a good state to deal with life & more able to help others if & when required. Puffing yourself up with pride or pulling yourself down is bad for you and everyone around you.

[1113]

Its a pleasure to meet you, Elizabeth CP,

Im sorry if the word vanity has upset you.

I wasnt trying to pull my self down or puff myself up.

The fact of the matter was my opinion of loving myself was valid and contentment to me however i came about is good.

Dont you think?

Depression over 20 years can change someone a lot of ways.

Nobody is perfect. Hell me not perfect at all.

If my oppion is bad for you then I appologise.

But I shouldnt change something that works for me..should I?

Any way back to health after such a massive ordeal is right. I have plenty of time to better my self as a human. Judgement by others is puffing yourself up to be better than me.

My opinion wasnt judgemental to anyone, it was just my opinion.

Peace to you Elizabeth CP

[1113]

Again I apologise elizabeth cp

You are a strong one.

I think your nick name should be strongone!

Peace

Matt.

[rufio]

i think love is liking something, being good to it and willing to put it before yourself at times. i also feel vanity is different, vanity is thinking that something or you are better then others

[1113]

Rufio,

Thanks buddy

I think I might sit back and watch the glow.

Peace