Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Guest_322]

Hi,

Sara, thank you 😊 I do appreciate your words. I do. It's just that compliments don't really stick because I'll hear them, the words will momentarily register then it just sort of goes over my head. I mean, it's not that I don't appreciate them but it's like my brain has shut off certain parts.

Paul, thanks for the reminder. Much appreciated 😊

Dottie xxx

[Just Sara]

It's ok Dot;

I say the things I do because I see you in this light. I don't do it for kudos. My perception and willingness to give to you this way, may one day be heard and realised. That's my wish for you my sweet...

Sara xoxo

[blondguy]

Hey Dottie

You are not alone where compliments not being absorbed. What you just described is more common than you think

you Champion you!

Paulx

[Guest_322]

Aw I don't know what to say, which is pretty rare for me ha, ha.

Thank you Sara and Paul for your ongoing support and kindness 😊

Dottie xxx

[blondguy]

Hey Dottie, thankyou for the super compliment. You have helped so many people so very well 🙂

This is embarrassing but I am running this ancient Hewlett Packard Micro Tower with the redundant Windows XP Professional platform lol....How do you get that smiley face on here??

When you have the time please let me know

my kindest

Paulxx

[QldMouse]

Hi Dottie, like Blondguy I say you are not alone.

Reading the threads here I maybe getting some understanding of my own state. Many of us seem to be so conditioned to hearing bad things that we don't trust good things when they are said. I know I get my back up, start to panic that there is an attack coming, close the gate and pull up the drawbridge.

I don't know about love, it seems like fiction. Like Blondguy I am struggling to be kinder to me, the L word is not possible for me.

Be well and kind to each other in this season of trial.

[Just Sara]

Thankyou...beautifully put QM. Helping me to understand others, is your Xmas gift to me.

Sara xo

[Guest_322]

Hi Paul,

No worries at all. Sorry, I'm not sure because I just use my iPhone (one of my few indulgences) so the icons are already on my phone. You can do the same with an ipad.

As for your models, I'm sure there is a way to download a program for the icons but I'm not sure which one. Just be careful that it's not a virus though.

All the best.

Dottie x

[Guest_322]

Hi Qld Mouse,

It's nice to see you around the forums 😊

Thank you for empathising. I hear what you're saying.

Starting with trying to be kinder towards yourself is an incredible start. Self love seems almost elusive sometimes.

Dottie x

[QldMouse]

Thanks Dottie!!

Yes those smiley faces elude me too Paul!!

My lady of the couch (read councillor) posed an interesting question (don't you hate it when they throw you curve balls). She said "what do you think is love? what do you expect your love language to be? how would you recognise love if it came your way from someone external?"

Then we went off on the yellow brick road of "what love do you give to others" and the inevitable "how about you start by giving the same to yourself as you give to others". Sigh ... a tough call but trying.

Good luck all.