Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[HamSolo01]

g'day everyone

nice to see you and thanks @Ggrand for your kind words

yesterday i was out and enjoyed myself so that was self care hey ?

i think the liking of the self ebbs and flows in all honesty. Things change and our circumstances in a given moment or day or time period can shift our self respcet and view of ourselves. '

I have spent much of the past few weeks focusing on being my authentic self and not putting lies out in the world. It's so hard in today's culture but I do believe that I am getting there.

I really like what you said there - "after all we are all we really have, so we need to care for ourselves the very best we can.."

It's so true.

My best to you my friend

[HamSolo01]

Right now as I type @mmkitty

yes - my insight, my communication abilties with people (written and verbal in person), my fortitude to resist peer pressure

🙂

[quirkywords]

Moon

that is something to strive for, liking yourself no matter how bad things are try but I find it difficult at times.

i understand that one’s confidence cones from within and is not determined by external factors.

[Guest_1055]

Hi,

Do I like myself?

Has been a challenging question to answer over the last few years. Because I didn't really know who myself was. So I can I like or dislike.

But I think that is now slowly changing. I can see much bad stuff or weaknesses in me that I absolutely hate. But then I see other... not even sure what you call it. Things I like.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Guest_1055,

Might those other things be strengths? Maybe these are things you would like to see more of within yourself?

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello Guest _1055,

I am very similar to you in the way that I do not like my younger self....but I do like some of me that is starting to grow within me....I do like my caring and compassionate me...that has been slowly emerging and growing inside of me for the past few years..

I have had the honour to get to know you over the past 5 years...I have seen your very caring, kind, compassionate and inspiring self....through your posts to others...These are the things that I hope so much that you can recognise and like in your beautiful soul...because we all do.🌹..

Please be gentle and caring to you...A very gentle reminder dear Guest....That the only day that really counts is the day that you are living in....

Hugs precious lady 🤗🌹.

Grandy..

[white knight]

The most staunch admirer of ourselves should be us. That most pats on the back for encouragement should be from our own hand. 

Hanging around head down

We think we can be really clever

Waiting for someone else to impact us

...can last forever...

TonyWK 

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone,

I think sometimes it takes something unpleasant to happen to us, before we do realise that no matter how much we think we don’t like ourselves...that in actual fact, we do..like ourselves enough to care for ourselves in times of need...

You see...last week I hurt my upper back, by pulling out weeds....and could hardly even walk or move my upper body without pain....It got me thinking and noticed how I didn’t do anything more to hurt it...instead I was kind, gentle and caring towards myself....looked after myself the best I could by taking otc pain meds.....having hot showers to ease the pain.....done no physical activities....just simple kindness and care towards myself....Is this liking myself ?....Yes it is....

Do you like yourself enough, to care for yourself when you have physical pain...I think we all do....You know, pain relief for headaches, rest if your unwell, having a drink when we’re thirsty, feeding ourselves when we’re hungry...etc...by doing so.....maybe it also helps to liking our inner self.....or are these two different parts of us, seperate from each other....can we care for our physical self, while we dislike our inner self?....

I’m interested to hear your thoughts on this...

Kind thoughts and hugs everyone..

Grandy..

[blondguy]

Hey Grandy (and everyone)

I really hope you back is feeling better and thankyou for your heartfelt clarity even though the OP has been off duty for a while now

You have mentioned an excellent point where physical pain is concerned Grandy. My friend suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis and experiences chronic daily pain yet she strives to like herself despite her RA and her fingers pointing horizontally now.

To answer your question Grandy...I think that we can care for our physical self whilst disliking ourselves...yes

Thanks Grandy...I remember when you started on the forums years ago....You provide heartfelt support/counsel to members by speaking from the heart as well as you do

my kindest always

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Paul and Grandy, I'm so sorry Paul to hear of your friend who is suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis and realise that unfortunately it would make her life so limited, as I know my dear Mum suffered from this and her fingers were pointing in the same direction, a condition no one would ever want to have.

I really wish your friend the very best in her struggle with this disease, and know that my genetics from my Mum are falling on to me.

Grandy just be careful of your back the pain this can provide in all your movements must be terrible.

All my very best.

Geoff. 

Life Member.