Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Mum Chris]

Hi

Baby steps for me I did ask her if she was ok and she’s fed up with a health issue and it’s getting her down. I just said don’t be like me get help now really I’m in no place to help.
I was doing ok and I got home got out of my car and burst into tears. A full week of smiling has been enough.
im in my room flat out on the bed and I can’t get my brain to have one thought it’s a dozen at a time. I’m sad really sad. Why do terrible things happen to me and why do I have to overcome them. It’s not fair I try to live a good life and I try to not do harm. I sound like a whinger self centred pity party and it is but the fact is my life has been torn apart. How long before it stops hurting. When will I get angry and get over it. I have 1 more week till I see the psych and it seems to far away. Some disassociation would be nice now

[Moonstruck]

Hi Paul.....It would be awful if I didn't like myself...because wherever I go, there I am......xx

[mmMekitty]

Hi Mum Chris,

Would you phone BB's scounsellingervice 1300 22 46 36, while waiting to see your psych next week? You can also keep talking to us.

For many of us, the road is bumpy, lots of pot holes, wrong turns, & it feels like we have nothing to guide us safely through. It is not quite like that, though, I realise, everytime my PDr goes on a break. I fear the worst, pull whatever I have to pull tight around me to protect myself, & grit my teeth until he is back. But I KNOW, I will be okay. The moments of dispair don't last so much, & the next day looks better, I mean, aproximately, relatively, nothing is actually certain, but I actually really do manage until I talk to him again.That's what I remind myself of now. I think, slowly, I am getting better, more resilliant as time goes by & I experience his being away more times, & even those long breaks I know will not be so bad as I imagine.

We learn to ride these waves, storms, whatever we call them. In doing so, we llearn how we can trust & rely upon ourselves to support ourselves. We can do it.

For now, though, I am here, other people on BB are here. Phone 1300 22 46 36 & someone will answer & talk with you more directly.

mmMekitty

[quirkywords]

Moon that is true for many people feel awful as they don’t like themselves. I had a friend who had been told by her family her husband and her children that she was not a good daughter, wife and mother so much so she believed them. It was sad to see this clever caring person have so much self loathing. It took her years to realise she could learn to like herself.

I wonder if our parents and grandparents ever asked themselves if they liked themselves or is it a more modern thing.
my pop told me he was to busy to ever wonder if he was happy.
i know I overthink sometimes about if I like myself.
The main thing I want to change is The way. I am very sensitive to what others say to me.

I am working on it.

[Guest_1584]

Haaa , too busy to ever wonder if he was happy , love it quick.

life can get like that eh , been that way myself for long periods too at times it's only been this last 7, 8 yrs l'd realized l fell into that trap and l hadn't been happy at all. Forgot to the most important part and to be smelling the roses along the way. Mind you not to say it was that way for your pop , some people are also really happy as well while doing whatever they're so busy doing.

Tbh though , lately , l'm back to thinking all this analyzing, too much in the head talking about it chatter and way too much thinking, is not doing me any good at all.

Maybe your pop had the right idea eh.

rx

[Mum Chris]

Hi

im not sure it’s just a modern thing. I think it was covered up. Some were strange or different.
instead of not expressing my thoughts I’m now bubbling over with soo many thoughts.
im reactive and fed up. I’m sick of me and all around me.
I have allowed people to walk on me and undervalue me. How do I know what my value is. I decide step down and get back.
What will me look like. Do I have the energy to drag me out of this crap. I’m so so annoyed at me. How could I lay down my life. Do I like me mmmm that is a question. I like what I want me to be. I want to be calmer. I want to be less angry. I want to be nicer.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Mum Chris,

On this forum you have come across as a very nice person, kind & caring, perhaps too hard on yourself I think.. .no, definitely too hard on yourself. 😸

But okay, don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to sound sarcastic, but dissatisfaction sounds like a place where change can start. Knowing what you want to change, & how you want to be more like in future is also important. You have a goal to work towards.

May you keep striving.

mmMekitty

[quirkywords]

Mum Chris can you like the me you are now who wants to change or even the me who may not change?

[Doolhof]

It is tough when my mind decides I can like myself only as much as I think other people might like me!

I need to look at and mentally record the moments when I connect with people in a positive manner that will help to enhance my sense of well-being.

I also need to accept the times when I feel other people are not happy with me. That is their problem right and not mine?

[Mum Chris]

mmMekitty

my husband loved the song that said “you are a cinema a Hollywood thriller” or something like that he said it reminded him of me and how I filled a room and he loved being around me. Yep happy me is a thousand emotions. Terrified Sad exhausted me is not. I’m very defeated and isolated. Even in a crowded room.
im a little better I’m not totally hating myself and blaming myself for everything.
I told the psychologist that I tried everything to teach my children compassion forgiveness and empathy and she said You can’t teach empathy. I mean why not I can teach how to read write do maths drive fish play sport. While it made me sad it lifted some guilt. I was suffering under the burden of I had 1 job raise healthy individuals regardless of the situation and I failed miserably. I’m still feeling like a total failure but not so much agony about it. If you know what I mean. Pain but not crushing agony. I’m not feeling like I’m in danger from me that I’m safe around me. That’s a bit of a huge step.
maybe I am a nice person and I don’t have to listen to the people that don’t want me to be happy.
What would I say to someone that is down. It’s ok you will be ok. I’m here for you. 😍