Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[topsy_]

Hi everyone

I’m so sorry Dools for your losses & the cruel words of hard-hearted family. I have living adult children but each of them has banished me from their lives. It’s pretty obvious I was a bad mum. I did try though.

The answer to the topic: Do you like yourself?

The answer: NO.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Dools

I just want to send you a ridiculously massive virtual hug. You didn’t deserve any of that. May you find peace x

topsy

big hugs to you also. People are incredibly complicated.

[Guest_1643]

hi dools, thats so awful

unbelievably horrible and isolating to be told those things- you're valid and beautiful as you are.

sounds to me like u are processing it and putting your heart into healing. much love.

[smallwolf]

Hi Dools.

Such a sad story. And sorry to hear about the way you are treated by your family. In my eyes you are definitely worthy.

[Doolhof]

Hi smallwolf, sleepy, Katy, Elizabeth and topsy,

Thanks for your kind words. I greatly appreciate your kindness and compassion.

I'm obviously needing to process this more and have expressed myself in the grief and loss section.

Feeling rather yuck so will go out into the garden a bit later when it warms up a little. Millions of weeds to pull up. Hopefully the sun will shine for a while as well.

I greatly appreciate you all.

May you all find reason to hold yourselves in esteem. Regards from Dools

[blondguy]

Hi Dools and everyone!...Tim.. Sleepy21.. Katy.. ElizabethCP....Sophie_M

I understand it must be horrible to experience the anniversary of your stillborn son. This pain would be awful to go through as often as you have for so many years

Grief counsellors are always an excellent idea as mentioned above despite the many years you have been grieving . We have spoken before about having support from a GP in this difficult time......Have you managed to establish regular contact with you doctor? This is crucial as part of your recovery

Hey topsy_Thankyou for your support and taking the time to keep the thread on topic

my kind thoughts

Paul

[quirkywords]

Dools

I have not seen the connection between grief and self esteem and liking one self. I am so sad your were not allowed to grieve for your chi;dren and to be treated the way you have by your family is so hurtful.

You are always there for other people on this forum.

Your honesty and insights helps many people including me.

[blondguy]

Hi Quirky!

Thankyou for the TLC you provide to so many people on the forums!

I am sure that most people are 'honest' when they post. Sometimes confiding in our doc outweighs ongoing suffering

My kind thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

Hi Everyone, I'm really sorry for what's happened, but we are unable to conquer PTSD ourselves, we need to talk with our doctor or a psychologist to understand how we can possibly overcome this illness, if we don't, then we aren't able to cope with these problems because we don't know the strategies we have discussed so that every few years they don't keep arising.

You need to help yourself by doing this so that you can move forward.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[demonblaster]

Hi Paul including all you other beautiful people 💗

Our dear Doolsy 🤗 this is a virtual hug sent with love appreciation and admiration for the steel you have that keeps you going with so much pain you have and continue to endure.

I too can't believe how callous and thoughtless some can be.

Here's your real family Doolsy. People like you we can't not want to be there for

I too dear Doolsy join several of your many loving friends feeling deeply for your incredibly hard pain.

Always loved your positive attitude.

You're truly an inspiration ⚘

Paul my heart sank when I heard you were thinking of leaving. So glad you're still around ☺ Hoping you're well matey 🐻🤗 (bear hugs)