Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Missep Quirky David

Thankyou for helping out on this thread topic Missep 🙂

I think that all the people that post on the forums are 'honest'.....it can be difficult talking about our mental health and thats okay as its a road to our recovery to speak from the heart....

my kindest always

Paul

[quirkywords]

hello everyone

If you have a problem with liking yourself

what about

giving yourself a break

or being easy on yourself.

paul says we can try to be gentle and kind to ourselves.

Take care

[Guest_1584]

The very things l do like about myself , unfortunately are the very things that are also the curse .

They've made me different my whole life and although l love different , l love it in others too , being different though also has so many prices in life and it seems you just pay pay pay.

rx

[Emo]

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone is going well in their lives. I am really struggling today with my feelings. I was so proud of myself for finally deciding to leave my abusive husband but I'm now hating myself because I have stayed so long. I hate myself for not feeling like I deserve to be treated better.

How do you start to heal and start to like yourself again? I feel like I need to punish myself for the guilt I feel for not taking control of my life earlier. I guess I'm not proud of myself after all. Maybe once I'm safe one day I will stop punishing myself and stop hating myself.

I guess I need to learn to like myself again, but how do I do that? It's been a very bad day which makes it a struggle to keep going but I guess I have to have faith that it will get better.

I'm sorry if this is a bit of a downer for some but to me it is a realisation that I will have to do a lot of work to be able to keep going through the coming months. Life is not all uphill there are some very low points and I'm experiencing those right now.

Regards,

Emo.

[Ggrand]

Hello Emo......hugs beautiful friend...🤗.

I am so proud of you for making the decision to leave your abusive husband.....I know how hard that has been for you..

Please try hard not to hate yourself...you have had no choice in your situation and everything that’s your husband has said and done to you is not your adult at all....

Emo...Like you I also hated myself for staying with my abusive husband and even after he passed away I hated myself worse...because being controlled so much..I didn’t know how to live for myself...

After a while I realised that I had started doing little things for myself...started to care for myself again because I was my own boss.,(so to say)...and didn’t have to put all my time and energy into keeping my late husband happy, so I would be as safe as I could be with him.....

I no longer didn’t have to race home from work, or walk on egg shells anymore...I didn’t have to constantly put his needs first...now I could put my needs first...but how?....I was so used to living for my late husband, I forgot how to live and care for me.....but slowly, I started to care for my needs and that self hate started to dissolved with each little thing I done for myself.,,,.With time and once you don’t have to put his needs first..you will start to respect yourself more and begin to give yourself the gentle self care you have needed and missed on for so long..It’s a new journey of discovering who you are...It was and still is hard for me to know who I am....but I’m getting their..and so will you beautiful lady....

After years of hating myself...I do like myself now...Not my appearance..but I do like that part of me that I am able to try to help people , I like it that I have an inner strength to do that...

Its a long journey, to self discovery and self like/love...but it’s a beautiful journey worth fighting for and worth taking..I have so much belief and faith that you are strong enough to walk along this road to self care...and one day the love for yourself that was taken away from you by your husband..will find you again....and you will like/love yourself again..because you have a beautiful, gentle and caring soul...

No one can ever take those away from you...

My kindest thoughts with my care dear Emo..and a warm gentle hug 🤗...

Grandy..

[smallwolf]

Hi Emo,

(I have found) it easy to look back with 20/20 hindsight and say something like "I should have done this earlier..." but at the same time, in that moment when you made that decision to stay you also had your reasons. And in that moment when you made that decision did you know what as going to happen in the days and weeks after? We cannot look into the future and know what will happen.

Also remember you have made a big decision and acted on that - that takes strength and courage.

Listening to you

[wail]

Does helping out other help you to like yourself?

[blondguy]

Hi Wail and a wave to Tim RX Grandy Emo

Hey Wail....thats an excellent question!....and yes helping others does provide us with a strong foundation where liking ourselves is concerned....Nice1

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Gday Paul and all.

And yeah fully agree Paul , just this last few mths actually l've managed to help out a brother with some stuff and also one of my sisters move too. Felt good and l was really pleased . l dunno but people never ask me for help yet ask others , think they worry about bothering me or think l'm too busy or something, been going on yrs. So l decided to trying making a point of offering in advance type thing with stuff that's came up. Low and behold both asked me for help.

Was nice .

rx

[blondguy]

Hey mate

Good on you RX for 'putting it out there' in advance....and having such a cool reaction from your family too!

I might copy your idea and do the same with my brother and sister....Nice1 ✔👍

Great post RX....