Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[ecomama]

Hey spontaneous sunflower!

Those are really pertinent points to us overthinkers! lol.

Contrary to popular belief and my onw previous thinking... I listened to a Brene Brown podcast on Fear. She spoke of how to integrate the self-critic.

Thank it even!

Letting the self-critic know that we're doing our best.

How to thank fear for trying to keep us safe but let fear know... I'm going to do it anyway.

Great podcast!

Yeah sure, I like myself. Even learning to love myself more and more. Independent of the self-critic. Thankyou lol.

Love EM

[Guest_1584]

Hiya spontaneous

l'm sorry your so down on yourself , ease up remember no ones perfect and that doesn't matter anyway besides , life would be pretty boring if we were all perfect - clone world.

Have you tried getting into something strenuous that wares you out a bit physically or exercise , or is there anything you can do a few times a wk that'll burn you out a bit even just round the house or outside. Best thing for us when we think too much imo , gets us out of our head.

Anyway , like yourself , that's an order from BB.

rx

[Guest_1584]

ps , that was a joke btw .

[ecomama]

Yep! rx good one... 🤣😂🌈🌴

I like what you wrote too rx, about hearing "just do what makes you happy".

So sweet and simple.

After reading that I shall eat cake whenever I want to RX said!!
hahaha.... that was a joke too.

Spontaneous sunflower.... I think you're awesome. Every BB member is. There's so much to admire about every single member who has joined the forums.

Onwards and UPwards!

Love EM

[Guest_1584]

Man now l need cake.

But yeah yaknow , obviously not everything we have to do involves happy happy, but it's also amazing how easily happiness can be forgotten in decisions and choices.

ex

[quirkywords]

Sunflower

i may have mentioned in your thread that I had a thread ,TLking to your inner critic can it be tamed ?

I have had interviews with my critic and others have posted their chats with their inner critic. it may sound a. It silly but it can help to see how you are thinking and what worries you. it also takes some of the power away from those negative voices.

Learning to ignore my inner critic is something I deal with and at times it works and at times I struggle.

Thanks for for sharing your thoughts.
I like the way you are honest and open and prepared to change .

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone! New Posters are always Welcome too!

Hey Quirky...thankyou for your super support! I remember when ElizabethCP mentioned 'our inner critic' and you have made a great point with 'ignoring it' which is very helpful as our 'inner critic' is the same as my old negative thoughts and overthinking I used to have

Its only my humble opinion Quirky...If we welcome and 'accept' our inner critic it does lose its power and can be rendered impotent. Thankyou Quirky for speaking from the heart!

I hope everyone has a really good weekend

Paul

[quirkywords]

Paul thanks for your encouraging words to me and everyone.

I know this has been mentioned a lot. We would never talk to a friend like the way we talk to ourselves. When I am being negative to myself I try to think how I would talk to a friend who had messed things up or who was struggling. I would listen and be patient so why can’t I treat myself the same way.

Be gentle and patient with yourself if you can.

[Moonstruck]

If I ever stop liking myself (and that is very unlikely) then I am done for. I am all I've got.......

[quirkywords]

Moon

I like that about you, that no matter what you like yourself.

I wonder what would happen if I liked myself all the times as I go into default mode and putt myself down when others upset me. I do try and see you as a model but it is hard to unlearn years of old tricks.