Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey CS

Be my guest if you wish to elaborate about your break through day and the photocopier

You are more tuned in to yourself than I am CS....Good on You though 🙂

[Just Sara]

Hello my dear Paul and those who've posted;

Although I've tried to fathom this thing called love (thanks Freddie Mercury) I've realised today, the most valuable thing I can give to me is respect for my body. It is after all the vehicle and temple holding my wounded heart and mind.

I wrote today on a thread; I've been so busy trying to mend my emotionally broken heart, I've inadvertently damaged my physical heart with the very things I use to try and numb the pain...killing me softly. (Thanks Carly Simon)

It's time to move out of my comfort zone and challenge myself; push through my fear to become my own hero and...live by example.

I've said these words before, but today I felt them deep within my spirit.

I grieved a lifetime of anguish, pouring out of my swollen eyes and furrowed brow. Bent over, battling my heaving chest and expelling unspoken secret desires of early death. How selfish and ungrateful am I to waste away in this shell of a woman I've become? To give in to the bastards who took me...broke me...severed me? I am Eve; I am Psyche; I am the Goddess Athene and the queen of the underworld Hecate. I am all these things and more. Most of all I am courage...a Shakespearean play.

My journey of a thousand steps is at 568 and counting. I'm still here by the Grace of God; that is love.

...Dizzy xo

[white knight]

Hi Dizzy

Your last post was so inspirational. We have many members that never post, but they read...and to read your words is infectious.

Go girl!! You are courage!!

Tony WK

[Just Sara]

Thanks Tony;

Words...a gift...Dizzy x

[blondguy]

Dearest Dizzy

Tony WK is spot on...what an inspirational post. So sensitively and beautifully written 🙂

Dizzy said: I've been so busy trying to mend my emotionally broken heart, I've
inadvertently damaged my physical heart with the very things I use to
try and numb the pain...killing me softly. (Thanks Carly Simon)

You have an innate gift to speak so well from the heart Dizzy....I always love reading your posts....

You actually help me with finding clarity and strength for myself....that makes you a GEM!

I am super grateful that you are here..

Mega Hugs and Bless your kind heart Dizzy

Paulxx

[Just Sara]

Dearest Paul...many thanks and; you're very welcome. Glad I can help. I know we say it a lot; "Thankyou" and "You've been such great support". It'll never be monotonous...to and from.

Kind and heartfelt thoughts..Dizzy xo (mega hugs back atcha) ;+

You too Tony WK...

[Guest_1055]

Hi I have read this topic heading quite a bit before and I wasn't sure of my answer. I have just been learning about what it means to love yourself in this support group I go to. One of the things I have found out is:

· you take care of yourself physically. That is you choose to eat healthy food to nourish your body, you give your body exercise, you sleep when you need to, get fresh air and sunshine, be wise in keeping yourself physically safe, i.e. don't walk alone at night in bad places. Look after hygiene needs etc

Anyway that is one of the ways to love yourself. I am now thinking about when you take care of a baby. One of the ways you love a baby would be to make sure all those physical needs are met.

So when one is feeling depressed, sometimes it is a challenge to love yourself. To make sure you exercise, eat right and even brush your hair properly etc, etc.

[blondguy]

Hi Shelleybelly

Thanks for replying 🙂 You have nailed it on the head and good on you too. I dont love myself as I dont love the way I think with my depression.

So..instead of loving myself I try to be gentle to myself...a much more achievable target. Like you mentioned Shelley its self nurturing that can do us wonders. You rock Shelley and thanks for being here..always a bonus to read your posts....Paul xx

[Cornstarch]

Hi Paul,

I over looked your reply I didn’t see it. Obviously loving myself comes and goes in waves just like any other internal state. Don’t get me wrong it’s really hard to love my PTSD busted brain some days, and it’s also really hard to love my life at times too. I’m not Ghandi.

One day after a long sweaty run I asked myself this:

“What does blaming myself and hating my condition get me? What do I gain? I must gain something because I keep doing it?”

I gain an illusion that I am in control and that my life can be controlled.

“What will I lose if I give it up?”

The false belief.

“And what will happen to you then Sweet Tinned Corn?”

I will be forced to face the L_O_S_S.

By hating myself I never have to grieve. It’s an easier pill to swallow than L_O_S_S. That's my "gain" so to speak.

[blondguy]

Hey CS

Thankyou for a great post that has so much to offer.....I hear you about Ghandi....I wish! I love this: "By hating myself I never have to grieve. It’s an easier pill to swallow than L_O_S_S. That's my "gain" so to speak"

My Kindest....Paul 🙂