Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Airies]

How does one love oneself,

some days l can't even look at myself in the mirror.Other days I see a mature , weathered person in my moments of contentment. I used to love myself when younger,fit, running marathons, bombproof, working in a highly volatile environment.

Nowadays I cherish the good times, when I feel ok and the body and mind are working as one. My depression, being bipolar and previously ADHD makes me do things to the xtremes. On a good day it's mostly great and on a bad day it's S**t. I used to feel a lot better about myself when I was working, excercising and functioning on all levels to a high degree. I was in the zone . That was a long time ago.

Nowadays I can no longer work, I'm overweight.its been a year since I excercised at length.i dont take pride in my appearance.I love my wife and children yet actions speak louder then words. I'm making progress, small baby steps.Come Sep 1 I'm going to don the Lycra and start riding again. Hopefully I can love myself a little bit more, more often

cheers Len

[Airies]

Hi Tony...I am often told I am as handy as a 'rubber shovel..

gotta remember that one blond guy. That's got me chuckling...Never heard of that one. I like it.one for the memory bank.

[blondguy]

Hey Len, Always a treat to see you 🙂 I hear you loud and clear on remembering the old days when nothing was an issue.Then 'Boing' the chemical make up in the brain changes and hello anxiety and depression...(1983)

Its taken me years to be 'gentle' to myself which has helped a lot (Dr Claire Weeks...Self Help for your Nerves)

Always proud to acknowledge that I am 'handy as a rubber shovel' Good to have a laugh 🙂

My Best for you Len, Paul

[Airies]

Hi Paul,

a big thankyou. I draw so much from your and many other posts.some resonate more then others. I guess it helps if you are a old head, but there are many other young ones here with so much insight and a wisdom beyond their years. I've heard of Dr Claire Weeks.....must look that title up,

just got the paperwork today to begin DBT come mid September. That will be my lot for the next year. Nothing too taxing as that will be enough

all the best and keep on keeping on

cheers Len

[Fairywings]

So very well written Paul great post my answer is no i have never loved myself and I don't think I ever will or can my self image has always been an issue for me coincidence here as I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder hate everything about the way u look its a fixation has been since i was very very young 😞 so yeah glad to share this here xx Venessa

[blondguy]

Hey Len...thankyou for your super compliment :-) It means a lot to me. You have been really active on the forums Len and at the risk of asking a dumb question....what is DBT?....Help me learn on this one

Hey Venessa..what a kind response and mega thanks 🙂 Is body dysmorphic disorder the condition that you dont like what's looking back at you in the mirror? ...or more complex?..I did read your post thoroughly Pixiefie...Just learning and absorbing info here 🙂 Thankyou for saying my post was well written xx Paul

[Fairywings]

Yes very much along those lines and also ur perception of ur body image is broken distorted so u never end up seeing the beauty in urself and u r constantly seeing others things to what u really r xxx much like anorexia the early stages of the illness

[blondguy]

My ex got down to 38 kilos (peg tube required) but kept telling me she loved her food......(4 years ago) Good news was she had the feeding (peg) tube removed....and is back to 45kilo.....It must an awful place to be in Venessa x

[Fairywings]

Yes well im happy she is on the road to recovery xx it's a dam nasty place to be in ur right coz everyday im fighting its annoying voice and it's just way too much some days

[Cornstarch]

I had a break-through today blond guy in front of a photocopier.

I actually do.