Dealing with NEGATIVE emotions, thoughts, words and memories

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

We all have them right! Negatives in our lives that pull us down. They may be words others have spoken to us, things we tell ourselves, beliefs we have accepted over the years, wrong truths, what ever you want to call them we all have them.

We could include the What ifs or Why me or any other phrase that has a negative connotation.

I have started this thread so people can share their negatives and together we may be able to come up with solutions, ideas or thoughts that might help.

My NEGATIVE thought might be "No one is going to respond to this post!"

How do I know that?
If no one does respond, does that mean I am stupid for thinking someone might respond?

Our minds keep telling us stories, right or wrong. It is what I do with those stories and thoughts that count. I can feel defeated if no one responds, or I could accept this might not be a topic that interests anyone.

We all deserve to feel as though we are of value and we don't allow our sense of worth to be based on what other people say or how we feel about ourselves when depressed and full of negativity.

We are not worthless or useless, we are all unique and valuable to society in some way.

This is an opportunity to share the negatives and for us to help each other find ways to overcome them.

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hello Everyone,

Here are a couple of sayings I heard recently for us all to think about or ignore, the choice is yours:

Your problems are not your problem, Your REACTION is the problem.

Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will fly away from you. Sit quietly and the butterfly will land on your shoulder, happiness can find us in the quiet moments too. Chasing after it can drive happiness further away.

(If only life was that simple hey! Ha. Ha.)

Wishing you all a day filled with butterflies full of happiness landing on your shoulders!​

[Guest_3712]

Hey Mrs D,

Thanks for leaving this lovely analogy of butterflies in my mind today. I have an extreme phobia of most thing feathery , birds, chickens etc but love butterflies. We once went to a beautiful butterfly farm in Cairns. It was unbelievable. All sizes and colours everywhere. Landing delicately on my arm, they whispered sweet calming thoughts I could have stayed forever- and yes felt so very happy.

Be kind to yourself

Stressless

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D

You are so right about feeling worthwhile in you work. I have 2 paid jobs to make ends meet in retail and while for the most part I enjoy the work and talking to people, it feels so meaningless and insignificant . If I didn't need to work I would definitely like to be involved in more rewarding work. I would also love to do something where I went home each day and though , "yes I really made a difference today" .

I am grateful to be working for sure and I know I'm not alone when I say I wish I was one of the lucky ones who really enjoy what they do. If I wasn't so up and down I would look into various volunteer work with children, but at the moment not settled enough in myself to offer help to others- something to strive towards

Be kind to yourself

Stressless

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

Regarding butterflies, when you are feeling depressed or stressed and you are at home, would it help you to draw pictures of butterflies and colour them in? Or look for colouring books with butterflies in them. Just a thought. Colouring can be very calming.

I read a story of a GP who was starting to feel like his work was pointless. Patients would come in for a 10 minute consult, he would listen to what they were saying with out really "hearing" them, then get on to the next patient.

One day he decided to really listen to his patients and he started to get a lot more out of his work.

You may already interact with your customers, maybe a little more interaction may help you feel like you have actually helped people more, that may provide more satisfaction for you. Hopefully in time, you may be able to progress onto something you would really like to do.

I do the same when I am helping out at the counter at the Op Shop. It is amazing how different people can be when you engage with them!

Cheers to you from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Good Morning Everyone,

Recently I read a book called "The Happiness Trap" by Dr. Russ Harris. I understood some of the book, not all of it. I still struggle with how to put the theories mentioned into practise. I am going to share from the notes I wrote while reading the book.

We need to learn how to handle painful thoughts and feelings effectively in a way those thoughts have less impact on us. We need to limit the effect they have on our lives and find ways to prevent them from sapping the joy from our lives.

The book mentions that to do this we accept the thoughts, recognising our mind is telling us a story and then we commit to doing something worthwhile and positive. In all of this we also need to support and comfort ourselves.

This sounds great, I am struggling though to find the off switch in my brain that allows me to acknowledge the negative thoughts and then proceed to the positive supposedly so effortlessly.

Does anyone have any ideas on this theory? I feel like there is a step missing. The bit where the negative thoughts are there then you manage to get on with life like they weren't there at all.

Hopefully my psychologist can help me make more sense of this at the end of the month when I see her next.

Cheers all from Mrs. D or Dools​

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D

I also read this book some time ago as was recommended when I was in group therapy

It had some good theories - maybe a little bit simplistic but like u I was at a loss as to where I put the bad stuff while I proceeded to the happy part

look after yoursrlf

stressless

[Doolhof]

Hi Stressless,

Thankfully I am not the only one who has an issue with that part of the equation! Another technique the psychologist used was visualisation, where I shut my eyes, listened to her talk and had to imagine how my negative thoughts felt within my body.

Not sure if you have tried this. You go through the process of accepting it, and removing it from your body to really look at it, then stick the darn thing back in your body again! What the darn good is that? Once it is out of the body why not give it a drop kick into the universe?

I think I am missing the point somewhere! My next session with the psychologist could be interesting!

Cheers. Hope you have a good day. From Mrs. D.