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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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golden82 Cure worse than the disease...
  • replies: 8

This may not be 'popular' but for several weeks now I am finding the cure to be worse than the disease. As an already isolated person living alone in a flat with no family and no true friends and with a long standing eating disorder and other mental ... View more

This may not be 'popular' but for several weeks now I am finding the cure to be worse than the disease. As an already isolated person living alone in a flat with no family and no true friends and with a long standing eating disorder and other mental health issues, I am really struggling to get through the days. When the Prime Minister and others talk about making the most of it and spending time at home playing puzzles with the family or having an Easter camp out in the backyard....not everyone has a family or even a backyard. This whole situation is highlighting for me just how very isolated and alone and unloved or cared for I actually am. And I am sure there are others out there doing it tough in this regard too. Whilst it is good the PM talks about checking on your elderly neighbours; it is not only the elderly - I am only 37yo but totally alone. I find I am not represented at all in this discussion and it is people like me who slip through the cracks. There will be so many suicides from this reaction; and whilst initially I thought the govt was doing a good job of handling it, I really do not think all 'side effects' were considered.

Daniel0712 What's your "I should have done" during the Coronavirus?
  • replies: 8

Hello all, I read some advice today that struck a chord to do with finding positives arising from CV-19. The idea is to take advantage of the forced extra time we might have for ourselves due to having to stay at home everyday with our social calenda... View more

Hello all, I read some advice today that struck a chord to do with finding positives arising from CV-19. The idea is to take advantage of the forced extra time we might have for ourselves due to having to stay at home everyday with our social calendars being wiped out. It would be good to not look back with regret in a few months and say "I should have" done this or that. I'm trying to get into a routine of waking early & doing a run around the park in the time I would normally travel to the office, although I have to admit I'm still not sleeping great. Can anyone suggest other things they "should" now definitely do in the next few months?

Belinda24 Coping Strategies
  • replies: 1

This isolation has prompted me to go back in time and access some silly little coping things I used to do about 25 years ago when I had a breakdown. I had the BEST counsellor EVER. She knew that overloading me with psycho babble was too much for me d... View more

This isolation has prompted me to go back in time and access some silly little coping things I used to do about 25 years ago when I had a breakdown. I had the BEST counsellor EVER. She knew that overloading me with psycho babble was too much for me during the ACUTE crisis stage. We got down to the nitty gritty once I no longer panicked So here are a few SIMPLE "tools" she suggested to help me cope: * One Day at a Time kept me calmer cos I knew tomorrow was another NEW day * One foot in the past and one foot in the future meant I was piddling on the present Love this one!! * Gave me a "God Box". If I became obsessed with a repetitive thought or fear, I'd write it down and put it into my God Box, then GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY * I am not remotely religious, but I've had enough evidence in my life to reassure me that something or someone takes care of me all the time. So, I "LET GO, LET GOD". I've found this to be very freeing at times. Takes the weight off my shoulders so I can get on with my day * She reminded me that 95% of EVERYTHING I ever feared over my lifetime (I'm 70), NEVER happened. This has been absolutely true * The two questions that keep me STUCK and highly FEARFUL are: WHAT IF.......... (future predicting) IF ONLY............(past regrets) * Everything happens for a reason. My belief is that COVID-19 is happening because the western world has been upside down for decades and something drastic was needed to get us back on track to being a society that puts people before profit * We need to go back to loving people and USING money, instead of the opposite, which has been the status quo * I hope we do things differently once this crisis is over. Cos repeating the SAME behaviour and expecting a different result is just plain NUTS I actually feel so much better just having typed this post. Cheers everyone. THIS TOO SHALL PASS

white knight MELTDOWN....back to basics?
  • replies: 11

Many of us have come across situation like in a factory or workplace whereby a scheme is introduced and doesnt work and after several attempts they call for "back to basics". In an overload situation where machines have overheated or computers have c... View more

Many of us have come across situation like in a factory or workplace whereby a scheme is introduced and doesnt work and after several attempts they call for "back to basics". In an overload situation where machines have overheated or computers have crashed we go to "safe mode". This enables you to continue on with your work albeit at a slower rate until things get back to normal. After reading many posts here in particular on the depression threads there seems clear to me one theme- meltdown. The sufferer has suffered meltdown and is (understandably so) wondering how to move forward, how long it will take, how long before the meds take effect, why family and friends arent supportive, why cant I get out of bed etc. Is this because sufferers "expect" to get over their condition quickly...say a few days? If they havent suffered a mental illness before then they likely do think it will be a short term thing. I dont know about you that are reading this but I was never told I had lifelong illnesses by my professional therapists until well into my consultations well after diagnosis. So back to the posters here that are new to their illness wanting a quick fix, them finding difficulty accepting their illness and the length of time recovery could take. I suggest that modern day life doesnt help. Stress ...mmmm...I'm sooo suspicious on the effects of stress. I see modern stress as something that has come from the rat race. You know, all the things we have to do and fit it into the time we have available. Do I need to list them- no, I think we all know this pain. So why is it so? Is it only a modern day phenomenon? Prior to 1900 we had major issues of health (remember no anti biotics), few machines to make life easier and no services to care for us. Apart from locking us away. Then the early 20th century we had wars, the great depression and continuing stigma. I think the golden period was the t60's to the 90's...why? Because although the last 25 years has brought us the computer age I suggest that it hasnt reduced our workload only increased our efficiency so we produce more. I diverted a little. What I believe is that it really doesnt matter what era we were born, the complexity of life has been heavy on mentally ill patients regardless. Like 'safe' mode on a computer can sufferers of depression for example, if possible, delegate friends or family to carry out their daily and weekly chores for them? Effectively if they can have a carer for a time so they are allowed to feel free to sleep or some other form of shutdown so they can give themselves every chance of recovery? Am I on the right track here? There just seems to be a trend in threads of a need for sufferers to only cope with the basics of living until repair is given the best chance. You comments welcome

She_bangs_the_drums I’m stressed to the max!!
  • replies: 8

Hello this is my first post and feeling kind of awkward writing this. I should be enjoying Easter with family, not looking for online advice about stress..but glad I have found this forum . Hoping to get some advice or peoples thoughts on here about ... View more

Hello this is my first post and feeling kind of awkward writing this. I should be enjoying Easter with family, not looking for online advice about stress..but glad I have found this forum . Hoping to get some advice or peoples thoughts on here about me resigning from my job. I work for a national builder and work under state directors and senior managers. I have always, in all my roles over the years never allowed myself to get stressed and always tried to switch off and ‘not take work home’. I have seen a few people in my company burn out and have resigned or taking time out for mental health issues. In these virus times like many other companies ours has made people redundant and we are trying to finish projects off, we need to win more work ‘or none of us will have a job’. So the pressure is on and ‘some would say’ our people do get paid well to deal with this. I have just started to notice the last few weeks everything has ramped up. Peoples attitudes changing, so much politics and I’m constantly stressed out over thinking, not sleeping and thinking about my task list, constantly questioning myself ‘what’s next?’, ‘how do I close this out?’, ‘why is this on me to sort out’? ‘why isn’t the other guy doing this, it’s his job to do it? I’ve also noticed my fuse is getting shorter with people and I am arguing with people more. Then last Monday night after work I was lying on my bed and my little boy sat by me and said ‘how’s work dad, everything okay?, you look really tired’. I haven’t cried for years and tears just started pouring out, I told him to go down stairs not to show him.. I have never felt like this and I really feel I should just quit, life’s to short and health and family are way more important. I think I have to give four weeks notice. If I quit on the spot I don’t think I will get paid my 5weeks annual leave? Then if I quit I am worried my name gets tarnished by management and it will be hard to find another company? Should I just stick it out and perhaps the round two of cuts they make in a few months will have me included and I get paid out properly? As I mentioned I have never felt this way before and advice on here would be great from anyone who has been through same thing?. Many thanks

Peppermintbach Coronavirus: Tips & discussion on how to cope with loneliness & missing loved ones/support networks when we are unable to see them in person
  • replies: 5

Hello lovely people, I realise there are already wonderful COVID-19 related threads, which is fantastic, such as: - Coping during the Coronavirus Outbreak: the main, overarching support thread on Coronavirus - How to take practical advantage of isola... View more

Hello lovely people, I realise there are already wonderful COVID-19 related threads, which is fantastic, such as: - Coping during the Coronavirus Outbreak: the main, overarching support thread on Coronavirus - How to take practical advantage of isolation: thread that focuses on predominantly activities to cope So I would like the focus of this thread to be a little different where the focus of this thread to be more on the interpersonal relationships side of things: 1. Tips to maintain & form interpersonal relationships/connections with people that we don’t live with & can’t see in person for now 2. Coping with loneliness I’ve noticed a recurring theme where many of us are struggling with the loss of face-to-face support. Us humans are social creatures. We are physiologically programmed to connect with others from birth to childhood to teenage years to adulthood. It’s human nature... So it makes sense that the loss/ reduction in face-to-face contact is taking such a toll. I miss my friends & family, but I can’t see them in person while this is happening. But I’m also 1 of the lucky ones, not because I’m better/more deserving (I’m not)....but because luck has me in a position of having a strong support network. This is just temporary for me; I realise that isn’t always the case for everyone (& through no fault of their own). So, I encourage you to discuss/share ideas on how to stay connected... Here are some of the things that I do: - Recognise the type of loneliness that I’m feeling (e.g. emotional support, social aspect, etc) so I can plan my virtual meetings to help meet my needs (e.g. close friends only versus a big virtual party). - schedule regular video chats with friends & family to stay in touch - try to schedule virtual meetings in a way that mimics my “normal life” (e.g. I used to do the bulk of my socialising towards the 2nd 1/2 of the week, so I schedule virtual catch-ups more towards the 2nd 1/2 of the week). I do this for 2 reasons: 1. It helps me maintain a sense of “normalcy” 2. It will make it easier to transition back to my “old life” when this is over. - Plan virtual activities with people that mimic what you used to do e.g. if you were part of a book club that met on Thursdays then organise m a virtual one through Zoom also on Thursdays I hope we get to chat. Feel free to share your ideas & discuss kindness & care, Pepper

AngelBear I actually feel happy again
  • replies: 3

after last year of being sad and gloomy, I actually feel happy. I know I might sound crazy but 2020 might actually be my year, other than the virus outbreak haha. I found someone who made me feel something other then sadness. I can't believe this, I'... View more

after last year of being sad and gloomy, I actually feel happy. I know I might sound crazy but 2020 might actually be my year, other than the virus outbreak haha. I found someone who made me feel something other then sadness. I can't believe this, I'm actually happy! How are you guys? oh by the way. I also want to thank you to all the people who were they for me on beyond blue, you helped me. each of you Anyway! I'm back on beyond to express my happiness and to help others suffering like I used to. no one deserves to be sad

Julz01 Trying alcohol free
  • replies: 1

I have not had a major depressive order for a while, but I guess I have not felt upbeat either. After months of drinking every night sometimes 2 or 3 bottles of wine. So I am now on day 3 of alcohol, I am not setting a time to achieve alcohol free ju... View more

I have not had a major depressive order for a while, but I guess I have not felt upbeat either. After months of drinking every night sometimes 2 or 3 bottles of wine. So I am now on day 3 of alcohol, I am not setting a time to achieve alcohol free just waking each day trying to abstain. i got myself both mentally & physically wee a couple of years ago even lost 30 kgs now I have put back 20kg. So trying to get my self care back but I am so unmotivated to take up exercise again or even do simple chores around the house. If I can stay of the alcohol it may all come back again. any tips on beating alcohol & stepping up my motivation to achieve things in my day would be great.

Harry_Lime Hi there, I only just joined and I'm worried about the Coronavirus.
  • replies: 42

Hi everybody. This is my first time posting on this forum - I only joined BB last Saturday night after a bout of anxiety and depression. The thing is, I’ve been worrying a lot about the coronavirus that is going on at the moment; every time there is ... View more

Hi everybody. This is my first time posting on this forum - I only joined BB last Saturday night after a bout of anxiety and depression. The thing is, I’ve been worrying a lot about the coronavirus that is going on at the moment; every time there is a news item about it its worse than the news item before it. And now that Australia has confirmed person-to-person virus contact it seems we are going the way of China with shut downs and restrictions and the news is full of footage of statistics and even people panic buying. I know it sounds really strange where I am coming from, but its just been on my mind almost 24/7 and I am becoming obsessed with news about it which probably isn’t good. I’m genuinely scared I am going to catch it or worse. Am I the only one out there like this? I’ve always been on the anxious side of things, a born worrier etc. I just turned fifty last year (yeah, great) and I work from home as a graphic designer. And its only me living here - my partner lives a couple of hours away in the country. I’ve told her what I am going through and she is very low key about the whole coronavirus situation. I’d really appreciate some ideas, feedback etc. Thanks guys!

TishaJade Is it really as bad as I think?
  • replies: 13

Hi all, I've posted a few times about how I feel about this situation, and it seems like I feel better for a little while, and then go back to the same thoughts and feelings. I just want to feel good and continue feeling good. It's hard to know if my... View more

Hi all, I've posted a few times about how I feel about this situation, and it seems like I feel better for a little while, and then go back to the same thoughts and feelings. I just want to feel good and continue feeling good. It's hard to know if my feelings are real, or if they are just fears and worries. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and it's clear we love each other a real lot. When we got together he told me he had a son from a previous unmarried relationship. At first I was fine with this. But as months passed I struggled. I struggle with the fact that he has had a child with someone else. And that I will NEVER be the only one to have children to him. I love him beyond measure, and I am JEALOUS that such a beautiful first milestone of having a first child was done without me. And that when we have our child, it will not be as special to him... I know that he did not love his ex the way he loves me. He never considered marriage, and having a child was only a way of fixing their relationship which, clearly, didn't work. He has told me that he actually wants to get married to me one day, and wants a proper family and this makes me feel good for a little while, but then I am plagued by the above feelings all over again. I feel like I have been an excellent step mum, and I know that his child loves me too. But at times I can't help but feel jealous that his son takes him away from me. That he is tied to a child and another woman and always will be. I need some serious waking up, facing reality and positive opinions. Can you understand how I feel? What can I do or how can I change these feelings? I am so emotional about this and have been for a long time. Maybe men aren't as emotional about all this stuff as women are?