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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 1

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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iitzMickle My struggles and what help me beat them.
  • replies: 2

Hey all, new to here so might not be the best structured post but wanted to a share a little about my life struggles and some things that helped me overcome them so here goes: When I was growing up I moved back to Australia when I was about 12 to liv... View more

Hey all, new to here so might not be the best structured post but wanted to a share a little about my life struggles and some things that helped me overcome them so here goes: When I was growing up I moved back to Australia when I was about 12 to live with my dad. His girlfriend at the time was pretty horrible to me and would say things such as”No wonder your mother didn’t want you” and other stuff that no child should have to endure. It was fairly consistent and fairly brutal and it got to the point where I ended up pulling the pin out of my door handle on my room and spending most of my time locked in my room away from her basically in solitude or I would go over to my next door neighbours house and stay with them sometimes overnight etc. Eventually when I was 14 I moved in with my sister and her partner everything was good for a while but eventually I saw the dark side of him(I had seen it when visiting before but not to this extent) he became physically and verbal abusive towards her in front of me and my niece who was only a toddler at the time. I lived with this for about 2-3 years also copping some physical and verbal abuse from him myself in this time before I decided to run away from home. All of this lead me to live a life where I tried to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy hiding my own needs and feelings in the process. Due to this I suffered from Anxiety and Depression and still sometimes do my relationships with the opposite sex were unhealthy because I would always try my hardest to please in turn making myself come across needy and clingy. I recently wrote out my own suicide not and considered actually following through before speaking to a friend who ended up putting me onto a podcast called “the mindset mentor” hosted by Rob Dial. I started listening to this and implementing his advice into the way I think and I began reading self help books such as “the subtle art of not giving a f**k” By Mark Manson I soon came to realise that all of these thoughts in my head I could actually change them given the right amount of effort and a steer in the right direction. It was only a month or less ago that I wrote my own suicide note and I’ve already had close family and friends comment on how this is the happiest they have seen me. I felt disconnected from my friends and family because I didn’t want to be vulnerable and I have managed to turn that around and hope my message can help others in similar positions realise it’s achievable

Suebris I think this is MY problem : Coping with non-abusive partner who drinks
  • replies: 5

I have recently moved in with my partner of 3 years and much to my surprise he drinks a bottle of wine most nights. He gets a little bit funny (laughs more easily), and more jovial, and sweet! Most of you would be saying at this point - what is the p... View more

I have recently moved in with my partner of 3 years and much to my surprise he drinks a bottle of wine most nights. He gets a little bit funny (laughs more easily), and more jovial, and sweet! Most of you would be saying at this point - what is the problem? Well I have come out of a 10 year, abusive DV relationship which was aggravated by alcohol and drugs (8 years ago), and I had to run for my life in the middle of the night. I experienced PTSD and have gradually built my life up again from scratch. 3 years ago I met my partner who was so different to anyone I have ever been in a relationship with - we love each other and everything is fair and equitable. My family and friends love him and everyone says we are good together. We've been on extended holidays together and I had never witnessed excessive alcohol consumption until now... but we didn't see much of each other during the week, only on weekends, so I guess I didn't really notice until I moved in. I have told him that it makes me uncomfortable and he seems concerned about this and apologises, but it completely triggers me and frankly revolts me - makes me not want to go near him. He is a very good man - my adult son passed 2 years ago and he was amazing throughout that period - so supportive and I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through without him... but now I am full of fear that everything is going to collapse around me...and i cant stand seeing him drink wine ( beer doesn't seem to make him intoxicated), but wine makes him drunk and the bedroom smells of alcohol and then he snores. He is in the midst of a marriage separation and has also come out of a very controlling relationship ( he is still very controlled by his ex), so maybe this is his way of dealing with it, but it seems to be becoming a nightly ritual, which scares me. Is this more my problem than his?

white knight Your secret for mind control?
  • replies: 5

I have my days. Today was one of them. A day cleaning up my garage, my favourite place where I tinker and build things. But today as I toiled with the cleaning my mind was fixed on past experiences. Do any of you have lack of mind control? Or if you ... View more

I have my days. Today was one of them. A day cleaning up my garage, my favourite place where I tinker and build things. But today as I toiled with the cleaning my mind was fixed on past experiences. Do any of you have lack of mind control? Or if you have control on your thoughts how do you drop the bad thoughts so you can focus on good things? Maybe cleaning is at fault. A boring procedure. Might have to leave that job to my wife next time lol while I go indoors to cook my unique custard cookies.

SapereAude Music Good For Mental Health
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Hope you are all going okay. What music do you find improves your mental health or relaxes you? Cheers and take care

Hi all, Hope you are all going okay. What music do you find improves your mental health or relaxes you? Cheers and take care

white knight Symbolic tokens to assist the mind
  • replies: 5

I love words. One word I’ve always warmed to is Mnemonics. Mnemonics (pronounced without the M) means “to assist the memory”. So at school we had an early Menonic in algebra. A word made up was BODMAS and as you can see 45 years on I still recall tha... View more

I love words. One word I’ve always warmed to is Mnemonics. Mnemonics (pronounced without the M) means “to assist the memory”. So at school we had an early Menonic in algebra. A word made up was BODMAS and as you can see 45 years on I still recall that word. One had to remember what order to carry out mathematical equations. Brackets, division, minus, addition and subtraction (BODMAS) I personally extended this Mnemonic method to all forms of my life where I needed to remember processes. In the RAAF for example or the prisons I’d apply it to safety proceedures, in Fire stations I’d apply it to the danger level of chemicals in storage warehouses. It has served me well rather than remembering 1-20 chemicals I’d make up a word. And as time has gone on I’ve modified this so it slots in with my method of thinking. Australian cricket is a fine example. Every 4 years we play against England for the “ashes”. The “ashes”…a tiny urn the size little bigger than a golf ball, said to contain the ashes of wickets burned in Sunbury many decades ago. Both countries fight for the honour of that urn! a symbolic token albeit historic Apply that symbolism to the mind is no different. Remember the saying “it’s the thought that counts”? Give a lady a rose you picked from your garden on Valentines day should be admired probably more than flower sent by courier? (and cheaper). What about a tiny daisy held in your hand as you return indoors to apologise for something? Symbolic tokens that can change the course of your life, it can be that powerful. A post here by you the member can change anothers life. The humility of that is that you would not likely ever know. Humility, one of lifes most fabulous gifts. Hundreds could read it…they might not reply but they have absorbed your words. Symbolism can be effectively used as a positive thinking aid. It took me a long time to get my head around this. How can you turn things from negative to positive. It's got to the stage now that I pity those that cannot as it is truly life changing. As an example. Upset one day I sat on my garden seat tears falling. I picked a flower. PROBLEM FLOWER Of all my problems I pick a daisy flower I take a petal for each of my woes and count them by the hour And when finished this flower destroyed my problems as big as a city tower I thought I had lots of issues but not as many as that flower... Using a destroyed flower as a symbolic token. Tony WK

SapereAude Mobile Phone Apps
  • replies: 4

Hi, Has anyone found any free (preferably) mobile phone apps that help with mental health issues? Cheers and take care

Hi, Has anyone found any free (preferably) mobile phone apps that help with mental health issues? Cheers and take care

Nico_B Cultivating Self-Love
  • replies: 4

Hello friends! Please enjoy a ~3 minute read of my musings on cultivating the essence of self-love, and finding ways to care for yourself, your community and our planet. I've included a bunch of references throughout, featuring tips, tricks and links... View more

Hello friends! Please enjoy a ~3 minute read of my musings on cultivating the essence of self-love, and finding ways to care for yourself, your community and our planet. I've included a bunch of references throughout, featuring tips, tricks and links to some amazing humans and businesses. As our ability to form in-person connections is restricted, self-love feels particularly relevant and I hope you take something away from this. --- Cultivating Self-Love - Techniques to care for yourself, your community and our planet To me, self-love is self-care. Fill your mind with inspiration, your body with nutrition, your life with meaning. Have compassion for others, support your community, be kind to the planet. Self-love is finding stillness of the mind, body and soul. Meditating, breathing deeply, slowing down, practicing gratitude, detaching from outcomes, emptying the mind. Self-love is self-worth. You are loved and you are enough as you are. Your imperfections are your personal perfections. Self-love is setting healthy boundaries. Being in alignment with yourself and others. Knowing when to say yes and when to say no. Self-love is accepting it’s okay to not be okay when you feel demotivated, unfulfilled or purposeless. You are allowed to feel this way and you are not alone. Self-love is being in flow, however that looks for you. Reading, writing and drawing, gardening, cooking and eating, listening to and playing music, movement, sport and exercise, spending time in nature. Self-love is co-creating community, building connection with others and finding something greater than yourself. Self-love is having sacred practices, like a regular morning routine. Self-love is having carefree practices and keeping things fun, simple and playful. Self-love is allowing others to love you through heartfelt sincerity, openness, expression, transparency and vulnerability. Self-love is exploration. Take risks, test boundaries, get comfortable with the uncomfortable, go to the edges of your comfort zone. Self-love is going a bit easier on yourself. We all make mistakes and we are all wrong, all of the time. It’s okay. Self-love is a boomerang. If you don’t serve yourself, you can’t sustainably support others. As you serve others, your cup will fill up. Self-love is a mirror. Hold it up and see yourself for all that you are. Embrace your uniqueness. Self-love is a friend. Love all that you are being and becoming. Nico

white knight Capacities and expectations
  • replies: 1

So much changes when you get an official diagnosis of a mental illness. Prior to that moment, you are in the fast lane at a speed set by society and your engine has a faulty cylinder- you cannot keep up but in your effort to, the spiral worsens- you ... View more

So much changes when you get an official diagnosis of a mental illness. Prior to that moment, you are in the fast lane at a speed set by society and your engine has a faulty cylinder- you cannot keep up but in your effort to, the spiral worsens- you fall into the mattress of medical help. Expectations is a cruel thing. When younger it is ok for others to have such expectations so we grow within boundaries set, so we end up decent people. When we can no longer function fully as adults, we fall behind those minimal requirements- we strike trouble. We can lose our job, suffer marriage loss, full time parental loss, lose our self esteem and other consequences. One process I found to get a grip on all this is acceptance. Acceptance is a huge word and that goal begins with finding your capacity of ability based on your current situation. It is counter productive to base it pre mental illness as it is to base it in others expectations- your capacities is to cap your limits just below the (new)- overflow line. Lets take a young adult that has dropped out of higher education. For years expectations were to complete uni/tafe, slot into a high paying job and fulfill dreams of travel and success. Realisation of a mental illness can thwart all of that so a process of reset has to take place. But the world still spins, bills need to be paid and inevitably getting a job that feels far below your capability is disappointing. Thoughts of what could have been can haunt you adding to your turmoil. It is essential, for the process of nurturing your mental health, to determine your capacities. If you are no longer capable of a task it might not be that way forever. If your expectations remain as they were prior to a meltdown then you can be your own worse enemy. Take a breath, re-assess, set new limits, discard expectations and seek back to basics existence until you are ready for new challenges. Now you’re nurturing your mind - no different than the process of caring for a broken limb that might not even function how it once did. TonyWK

Jesicca Yoga Poses
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone! I have been practicing yoga for just over a year now and I find it is a great way to meditate without realising that I'm even doing it because I'm focusing on my breath work and moving my body in a way that feels good for me. So I just ... View more

Hey everyone! I have been practicing yoga for just over a year now and I find it is a great way to meditate without realising that I'm even doing it because I'm focusing on my breath work and moving my body in a way that feels good for me. So I just wanted to hop on and ask everyone if they have a favourite yoga pose? My favourite is a traditional one but a goodie, downward facing dog! I love it because it helps me feel relaxed from my finger tips right down to my toes!

JohnJoseph12 Lost
  • replies: 3

I'm 21 and am feeling that my life isn't going to achieve much which i'm struggling to come to terms with. I'm currently back at University but for whatever reason I do not feel motivated at all to study with my major exams coming up. Before I change... View more

I'm 21 and am feeling that my life isn't going to achieve much which i'm struggling to come to terms with. I'm currently back at University but for whatever reason I do not feel motivated at all to study with my major exams coming up. Before I changed degrees and went back to university I was working in retail for the past two years. I didn't mind my job but did not feel fulfilled in stacking shelves and serving customers for the rest of my life. I don't want to get to my 30s and realised i've wasted my 20s doing things that I regret but I have no idea what I want to do in life. Does anyone have any similar life experience on this that may be able to help me with how they got through this and say how they are feeling now?