I feel like I've had the best and also worst year and a half. I met the
love of my life March 2019. Back then, I was confident, happy, bubbly,
positive and everything was SO GOOD. I embraced having a step child and
being a step mother, and to me, we ...
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I feel like I've had the best and also worst year and a half. I met the
love of my life March 2019. Back then, I was confident, happy, bubbly,
positive and everything was SO GOOD. I embraced having a step child and
being a step mother, and to me, we were all one big happy family. I quit
my job as I was unhappy there, and I felt like it was going to be a
whole new better chapter, I had the love of my life, the life I wanted,
and i was going to pursue a new career that earned me decent money so we
could save and buy a home together. I was suffering a bit with mental
health when I quit my job, so i wanted to focus mainly on my mental
health and get myself back a little bit before I dived into applying for
jobs, when i decided to start i was getting nowhere, despite how hard i
tried. My parter was supportive, but i felt my mental health get worse.
My anxiety skyrocketed, and all of a sudden I was spiralling into a
depression. I was always anxious, negative and I started to get jealous
of his son, the fact he had a child with someone else, and started
losing a lot of self confidence and self love. THEN i fell pregnant. My
parter and i discussed what would we would do if this did happen... The
reason i fell pregnant was because i thought birth control was affecting
my moods, or making me depressed. I started ovulating twice in one
month.. and BOOM. We both agreed on termination, but I was still sad...
I medically aborted at home and my mum supported me. It was HARD. my
parter was supportive and he told me we would have kids one day etc. Not
long after this happened my mum broke the news that her and my dad would
be moving interstate. It didnt hit me at first... But when my dad moved
over first and my mum found someone to rent their home it hit me like a
truck. My parents whom im so close with are leaving me... I have a
brother who lives 3 hours away and works interstate constantly... I
never see him. I don't have other family im awfully close to except my
grandma but she is old and when I'm upset it worries and stresses her
out and I don't want to do that to her. My mental health has gotten
worse, my parter and i are always fighting, ive felt myself being
resentful to my step child, and I find myself going downhill daily. Im
so jealous... and emotional. My partner assures me he loves me, and i
know he does.. But he has made it clear his mental health is being
affected by mine. Now he's moving out and leaving me alone in my
house.We both talked about this before. I mentioned it once when i was
feeling really low that i miss who i used to be when we first started
dating... I want to add that we have a GOOD relationship, we love
eachother, plan to buy property and a home together. There is so much
love. But my mental health is affecting my relationship... I feel scared
and like he is going to leave me as he has tried to do before but I have
begged him to stay and apologised for my actions... He said he loves me
and definitely wants to be with me but i need to sort out my mental
health and I agree. The past year i have been on and off birth control,
been in an abusive work environment, got pregnant and terminated, my
parents are moving away, i have struggled to get a job, I feel like a
terrible person, my partner has wanted to leave me at times. I have seen
counsellors on and off when they can fit me in. Never regularly enough
to help. I feel like time apart from my partner by myself to get on my
feet will help me, but im also scared as I have no one.