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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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sumynona423 How do you manage? Staying well questions
  • replies: 4

Have reached a bit of a rough spot in my life. Wanting any advice/tips/methods on the following topics, hopefully others can relate to these same issues as well. How do you distract yourself? Do you read? Play an instrument? Draw?Write? How do you re... View more

Have reached a bit of a rough spot in my life. Wanting any advice/tips/methods on the following topics, hopefully others can relate to these same issues as well. How do you distract yourself? Do you read? Play an instrument? Draw?Write? How do you resist temptations? How do you mange your anger? How do you calm yourself down from panic or stress? How do you boost your self esteem? How do you get off to sleep? (preferably without medication) What are your triggers and how do you cope with them? How do you keep in touch with others? If you can answer any of these it would be greatly appreciated.

Sawyer Study Tactics
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, It's exam time at University, a time which often exacerbates issues like depression, fatigue and disorders due to the immense pressure placed people, particularly young people, to do well. I thought this might be a good opportunity to st... View more

Hi everyone, It's exam time at University, a time which often exacerbates issues like depression, fatigue and disorders due to the immense pressure placed people, particularly young people, to do well. I thought this might be a good opportunity to start a thread on ways to stay focussed and calm during these times so you can not only study effectively, but avoid the extremely unhelpful panic attacks. Feel free to post here asking for others strategies, saying what works for you, or what works for others. I myself, find it extremely helpful to light a candle at my desk, quit out of distractions like facebook, and listen to long compilations of music. I find a style of music known as chillstep to be particularly good for studying. It's kind of like modern day meditation music, for me, it gives me enough stimulation to remain seated at my desk without procrastinating, while not being as distracting as listening to my itunes (which has all my favorite songs). Furthermore I often found traditional meditation music just makes me drowzy, especially if i've been studying for a long time. I also personally really like playing a compilation of 'rain sounds' at the same time, mix the levels right, put my big headphones on and the whole world just seems to disappear beneath hours of successful study. Let me know what you think, or if you have any strategies that work for you. Regards, Sawyer

Sawyer Psychological Exercises for Anxiety/Depression
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, For those of you who don't know, I have experience with anxiety disorders and depression both as a psychologist and as an individual. I detailed a method for dealing with those downward spirals that are accompanied by anxiety, panic, rac... View more

Hi everyone, For those of you who don't know, I have experience with anxiety disorders and depression both as a psychologist and as an individual. I detailed a method for dealing with those downward spirals that are accompanied by anxiety, panic, racing thoughts, problematic thought patterns. This was something I really struggled with personally and figuring out a way to combat this was massive in getting me where I am today. This is a good mental exercise you can do when you start feeling anxious, the thoughts start to speed up and you feel like you are losing control. Try to find a quiet place and imagine an object in your head that you are familiar with and that isn't a trigger for you. For me this was often a soccer ball, but theoretically you could use anything. Try to focus on that object, start with the overall shape, draw it in your mind, and then slowly add detail to it. Whenever you feel problematic thoughts creeping back in, refocus on the object, relax and breathe. Then you can begin spinning the object in your mind. Try to make it spin faster and slower. See if you can stop it. This is a very difficult thing to do because of the way our brains are wired, and will require practice. You may find that you have difficulty focussing, but that is the whole point! the exercise is about putting you back in the drivers seat of your mind. You can also try doing a task that requires very fine motor skills and concentration. For me this was playing piano, painting, or when I didn't have access to these things, even simple motor skill tasks using my hands, like spinning a pen between my fingers. The science behind these two tasks is that it serves the dual purpose of being cognitively draining (thus leaving us with little brain power to ruminate, put ourselves down, and worry) and by making us focus intently on something unrelated to what is upsetting or stressing us. It might not be easy, and you may have to really focus and be persistent with these exercises. Those negative thoughts will fight back. But when I applied them, I found these tasks to be hugely helpful, as have many others. You just need to have to will to try and implement them. Let me know if either of these work for you, if not, let me know why and I'm happy to discuss alternatives that might suit you better. Hope everyone is having a good day, Sawyer

Jass15 Be happy for yourself, Don't let others be in charge of your happiness
  • replies: 2

I was always worrying about making others happy but then I realised I should be happy without others judging me for what I do or who I am, as an anxiety sufferer I think depending what place your in at the time you tend to let everything get to you. ... View more

I was always worrying about making others happy but then I realised I should be happy without others judging me for what I do or who I am, as an anxiety sufferer I think depending what place your in at the time you tend to let everything get to you. I knew I had to make a change so I started to do things for me that made me happy. Also exercising played a massive role in overcoming hard times & u found I feel and think better when I exercise, eating better did also help. I'm on the path to loving me for who I am!

Tabby_Main What the professionals didn't tell you
  • replies: 5

When you go to the doctor/therapist and they say the answer are breathing techniques and postive thoughts...all you want to do is punch them in the face.Well don't worry because that's not trueHow can you breathe and think positive thoughts!? You're ... View more

When you go to the doctor/therapist and they say the answer are breathing techniques and postive thoughts...all you want to do is punch them in the face.Well don't worry because that's not trueHow can you breathe and think positive thoughts!? You're in the darkest part of yourself and can't even see yourself in the mirror anymore let alone get out of bed.What do they expect? That one magical day you'll wake up and be happy again? Sorry to burst your medically qualified bubble Doc, but that just ain't going to happen.Do you want to know the key to handling your depression/anxiety?The answer is NOT TO TORURE YOURSELF by forcing yourself into thinking positive thoughts. Or pushing yourself into stressful situations. This DOES NOT HELP! This only makes it worse.You need to find out what works for you. Can you remember the things that made you happy? Say surfing? Or photography?Start small and work yourself up. AND if you have a bad day. Then take the bad day. Put your feet up on the couch and let your mind and body rest.Don't listen to the ones who say to "let it go" and "fight it". They haven't been through your battle and don't understand that you don't actually choose to be this way.Just work through it. Day by day and make sure you have 14 hugs a day. Every human needs 14 hugs a day!Once you're on your way up the mountain start eating healthy and work on your fitness (just a walk around the block will do). Then start talking to your friends again. BUT REMEMBER, take it slow. You've got time.

Chibam Beating Cynicism
  • replies: 3

A while back I made a passing remark to someone about how I try to do the right thing whenever I can and they replied with "why support [other people]? they don't do anything to support [me]!". I really hate this attitude and more to the point, I rea... View more

A while back I made a passing remark to someone about how I try to do the right thing whenever I can and they replied with "why support [other people]? they don't do anything to support [me]!". I really hate this attitude and more to the point, I really hate the kind of culture it inevitably breeds. I like to think of myself as being more a "part of the solution" kind of person then a "part of the problem" one. I want to be something good, the best I can be as a matter of fact. But the trouble is, when I think about it, what the guy said is right - I can do the right thing as often as I like and the kindness will never get repaid. I no logical progression of events that I can think of do my efforts have a domino effect that result in some goodness flowing back to me. Nor will they have any significant effect in terms of turning the tide of the culture that is all about only looking out for #1, regardless of the people who sink beneath the waves because nobody could be bothered to help. I realize how hypocritical I must seem, whining over a lack of reward for my kindness while at the same time bemoaning selfish culture and claiming to want to be a good person. But the fact of the matter is that my life is a living hell. I NEED help. I need some mercy from the universe. And the closest thing I can see to a solution is to put make an investment in good carma and hope that some of it comes back to me. I'd like to have that sincere selfless spirit of charity in my heart, but truth be told it's too mired in shadow for goodness like that to florish. The best I can do is act the part. Logically I know that the other side of the argument is: "no good can come from taking the selfish route. Good can only come from doing the right thing, even if it's only a little good and even if that good only comes to somebody else." But all too often the easy road just seems far too tempting. Being good is stressful, being good is expensive. Sometimes it just doesn't seem to be worth the bother. Do any of you wrestle with this dilemma? How do you beat the cynicism? BTW, sorry if this is the wrong board - I can't really find anywhere else that seems to suit this post.

yarnartisan An small step I took to help me get better/stay well
  • replies: 5

I've been reading the threads from '3 things I did today that made me happy'.Also I've read lots on the forums about taking things minute by minute, day by day and taking baby steps. So it occurred to me why don't we have a thread where we put down w... View more

I've been reading the threads from '3 things I did today that made me happy'.Also I've read lots on the forums about taking things minute by minute, day by day and taking baby steps. So it occurred to me why don't we have a thread where we put down where we did that, no matter how small an action it is, because it's a bit of a 'Neil Armstrong' moment if you know what I mean (One small step for man....)It can be a huge emotional step. Share and celebrate that with people who really get how huge it is for you. So I'm putting it out there, here goes my first emotional 'bungy jump' I took. I went to a funeral of a former student last week, very sad but also a confrontational time for me because many of my former workmates were there. It was hard to be there with them and bought back a lot of bad memories. I had for 9 years thought most of them were friends and found out during the time of my injury,; emotional breakdown and leaving that they were'nt.The story is long and complicated and I'm not going into the details on how I was ostracized and why. I don't want or need advice on that as I've had that from my support people who know the whole story. But my point is, It was a hard morning but I survived it though exhausted and later when I got home I took out my mobile and deleted all thier numbers . And I cut the thread that was frayed and it felt good and a relief. Yarartisan.

LittleSteps Allowing yourself to be happy
  • replies: 2

Does anyone else struggle with this? I live from one mental slap in the face to the next, but I have times when I am happy - fleeting , but they are there. It might be as simple as hearing something on the radio that makes me laugh, or watching a chi... View more

Does anyone else struggle with this? I live from one mental slap in the face to the next, but I have times when I am happy - fleeting , but they are there. It might be as simple as hearing something on the radio that makes me laugh, or watching a child have fun. But almost as soon as I recognise that i am happy, I feel incredibly guilty about feeling that way, like I am not allowed to feel that way or by feeling happy I am obviously not taking the rest of my life seriously enough , or something like that. I envy people that can take a holiday and sit by a pool doing nothing at all. I could never do that. How do you convince your brain that it is okay to feel happiness?

Doolhof Hi Everyone, hope you are travelling well!
  • replies: 4

I've had a little hiccup with my medication recently. Unfortunately I have had to be taken off my current tablets under my Drs. assistance and have had a few side effects which have kept me away from the computer. I have missed you all and hope you a... View more

I've had a little hiccup with my medication recently. Unfortunately I have had to be taken off my current tablets under my Drs. assistance and have had a few side effects which have kept me away from the computer. I have missed you all and hope you are doing okay. I will try to get back to answering my posts one by one as time goes along. In some ways this last week has been a little daunting with the migraines I seem to attract when coming off tablets! In other ways I have had a much needed rest. My back and neck have greatly appreciate the forced time in bed. I tried to remember the words to other songs besides "Old McDonald had a farm" but that is the only song that has come to me all week while I have been in bed with my eyes shut and the curtains closed. I've thought about how I would like to rearrange the furniture in the house and how we could enlarge the chook run. My mind has thought up poems, but then I forgot the first few lines as I couldn't open my eyes long enough to write them down! Kept my mind busy and away from negative thoughts all the same. I've discovered bacon bones, an onion and frozen veg make up a nice easy soup! I only had to cut up the onion! Our cat has enjoyed keeping my feet warm and spending extra time on her blanket on the bed. Hopefully my clients will have missed me and will appreciate all the extras I do for them, quite often in my own time! Anyway, it is wonderful to be able to sit up for a while. Cheers to you all, from Mrs. Dools or Lauren

Sadlou What do you do to keep your mind off things and try to feel happy?
  • replies: 3

Hi there I'm going through a really tough time at the moment. Our 15 year old son has told us he is transgender, he is so depressed he can't attend school. We are having some major money issues, my dad passed away a few years ago so my mum is on her ... View more

Hi there I'm going through a really tough time at the moment. Our 15 year old son has told us he is transgender, he is so depressed he can't attend school. We are having some major money issues, my dad passed away a few years ago so my mum is on her own. She has a great network of friends and plays croquet a couple of times a week however does not drive. She lives literally a 5 minute walk away but for some reason she never comes to visit and never makes an effort to visit her friends and complains that they never go to visit her so I just don't enjoy her company and I'm struggling to be around her. I have a great job and work with some lovely people however it's only 3 days a week and I'm trying to find some extra hours somewhere to help with the money issues. I attend Aqua fitness classes 4 times a week as I know exercise is great for depression but boy I have some really bad days especially if I'm not at work I can cry all day and have suicidal thoughts. So I'm just after some ideas on what you do to help you get through each day? beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}