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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Anger, can you own it?
  • replies: 4

Some lucky people never get angry. But they might possess faults elsewhere they need to tackle. My in-laws in my first marriage were the quiet types, very quiet. I was loud, talkative and saw communication as essential when in the presence of others…... View more

Some lucky people never get angry. But they might possess faults elsewhere they need to tackle. My in-laws in my first marriage were the quiet types, very quiet. I was loud, talkative and saw communication as essential when in the presence of others…they would sit there and say nothing. As time went on nicknames like “trumpethead” emerged to describe me. It resulted in – anger! But where did this anger lead? Nowhere. For you can have all the anger in the world but you cannot implement tactics to counter the attacks that would ease the anger. Eg revenge it. Counter it. Make things equal...unless you can out wit them. Ever opened a letter from a service provider and you start to sweat then it reads you were incorrectly billed and you are to receive a credit? That letter becomes a “good letter” after being a nerve racking bad letter. It favoured you. When things favour us we don't get angry. It goes our way. Anger can be the result of being cornered. Anger can be reduced but unlikely to be eradicated from you. This is due to your personality, your automatic means to cope with situations. But anger in itself isn’t the problem. Anger is the spark, the reaction….what comes after anger, what anger leads to is the problem for anger being an automatic response is and should be ok…it’s the rage, the yelling, the abuse, assaults, the revengeful actions…what downloads from anger that we should address if anger is present. Above all else its your response, no one elses. So feel free to own it, to take responsibility for it to be yours. After all its ok to be angry right? As long as it doesn’t lead to yelling, physical assault or other reaction that is offensive. So summing up. Its ok to feel anger. Don’t be ashamed of having anger if someone criticises you for it, or any other natural feeling. As long as you own it and you leave it at that. Allow time and solitude for the anger to subside to avoid the download that could ruin your life. Take a walk, ask to be left alone for a time, change your environment...do what you know can give you the best chance to recover. Vent to a friend? Vent on paper. Anger is ok but not what it leads to. Tony WK Tony WK

Guest_1695 Accepting the past and moving on
  • replies: 5

Hi Everyone. Hi all. I am just over 50 and have decided now is the time to let go of the stuff of my past that has hindered me, and to try to move on through my depression, stress and other issues that have held me back. Thankfully a new medication i... View more

Hi Everyone. Hi all. I am just over 50 and have decided now is the time to let go of the stuff of my past that has hindered me, and to try to move on through my depression, stress and other issues that have held me back. Thankfully a new medication is helping me to do just that. I had a light bulb moment this morning where I realised the last medication I was on, helped for a while, but over time had become inadequate. I am going to try and start to live like this is the "First Day of the Rest of my Life" like a song mentions. No time like now to make that start. How about you? Are you ready to make that decision? How am I going to achieve this? I'm not really sure yet...Ha. Ha. I just know I want it to happen. One thing I have done is to become more assertive and let other's know I am going to begin sticking up for my rights. I will do this in a positive, non aggressive manner. I'd like to hear other people's ideas.

Elizabeth CP Learning to be positive- suggestions / comments welcome
  • replies: 4

I had a session with my psychiatrist on Wed and felt it would be good to put some of my thoughts in writing. Doing it on this forem I hoped would allow others to comment and help me gain more benefit and hopefully benefit other readers. I was apprehe... View more

I had a session with my psychiatrist on Wed and felt it would be good to put some of my thoughts in writing. Doing it on this forem I hoped would allow others to comment and help me gain more benefit and hopefully benefit other readers. I was apprehensive about the session as I had had some challenges since my last session and I was still unsure if he really understood me. It was a good session and I thought I would list the positives in this thread: He has accepted that it is my choice not to take antidepressants and accepted my reasons. This takes pressure off me as I don't have to keep explaining and I know I am justified in my decision. He gave me very clear guidance in when to take sleeping tablets. Sleep is a big issue for me and lack of sleep really impacts on my depression. I will use sleeping tablets when required to prevent me going more than 2 nights in a row without sleeping properly. I will use anti anxiety medication when anxiety levels escalate due to PTSD triggers or other stresses to calm down enough to then use other techniques effectively. (I don't like taking drugs so there is no risk for me of overusing them) After discussion I was able to tell the psychiatrist what the most crucial issue was and he reassured me that we can address this issue. . I am unsure how he can change things but it was a relief to know he understood that this is the most important issue. My homework is to write down the positives that have occurred due to the bad things that happened when I was child. After talking about all the negatives which have happened in my life in sessions being forced to come up with positive outcomes was hard but after coming up with a couple of ideas in the session it took away some of the pain and negativity away. That night I was able to elaborate further on those positives. Examples of positives include learning to manage money because we had little. This has made it easier to manage financially as an adult. Working hard at school (my way of coping with all the negative feelings) enabled me to succeed academically. On return home I was able to tell my husband what had been discussed with the psych and asked him to encourage me to carry out the homework. This is a huge step as I am embarrassed about needing help and avoid talking about it. The discussion provoked significant level of anxiety but I did it and my husband listened and was supportive I recommited to my goal of swimming at a lake nearby each week.

Elizabeth CP The relationship between physical and emotional (mental health) symptoms and managing both.
  • replies: 2

I have noticed a direct correlation between physical symptoms and feeling depressed or anxious. For example when tired or exhausted I become more depressed. When physically well it is easier to be physically active and productive and therefore feel b... View more

I have noticed a direct correlation between physical symptoms and feeling depressed or anxious. For example when tired or exhausted I become more depressed. When physically well it is easier to be physically active and productive and therefore feel better/ less depressed. Also when I am stressed I become anxious and depressed but this leads to physical problems. I have a history of temporomandibular joint dysfunction which causes severe pain in the jaw and difficulty eating and is exacerbated by me clenching my jaw when feeling stressed. This leads to lack of sleep due to pain and then more depression. Recently after speaking to my psychologist I set some new goals which are designed to improve my physical health as well as mental health. One of my short term goals was to paint my bedroom (something on my to do list for many months) so I would feel I had achieved something productive and feel good about myself. I tried to be sensible and keep the job manageable by not doing extra things like the floors or the ensuite. (I have a history of attempting too much and either failing (& feeling bad) or making myself sick through exhaustion.) Unfortunately I deliberately ignored the fact I was already very tired due to multiple stresses over the last year and particularly the last few weeks which meant I had little sleep. Preparing the room to paint was harder than expected and meant I was pushing myself each day to stick to the schedule I had set. I developed a very sore mouth, tongue & throat which caused so much pain I couldn't sleep or eat properly. I pushed on assuming the problem was caused by stress/ anxiety so there was nothing to be done. I eventually went to the GP after I have nearly finished the painting and was prescribed antibiotics for an infection. I now feel guilty for causing the infection through not listening to my body and pushing it so I had no resistance to infections. It also stops me achieving one of the important goals set with my therapist to swim in the lake each week as I can't afford to make the infection worse. Swimming in the lake was an important goal as it is something I used to enjoy but stopped doing because my husband wouldn't/couldn't go swimming. I need to start doing things on my own so I can cope as my husband becomes more & more disabled and needs increasing level of care. Also going to the lake means being in a bush environment and in the sun so it is important part of exposure therapy re PTSD related to bushfires.

Steph Social Media
  • replies: 20

What does everyone think of social media in terms of affecting your anxiety/depression/bipolar etc.? I have been told to cancel my social media pages because my husband told me that he notices I get overly anxious and depressed when I go on facebook.... View more

What does everyone think of social media in terms of affecting your anxiety/depression/bipolar etc.? I have been told to cancel my social media pages because my husband told me that he notices I get overly anxious and depressed when I go on facebook. I've started to cut down now because I have noticed it too. It seems so trivial, but its almost taboo NOT to have facebook...you kind of become an outcast!! Thoughts? (Please bear in mind that I acknowledge this is trivial, but I was just interested to hear if anyone else is affected by social media like I am). Cheers!

Guest_1055 I am a person of worth because...
  • replies: 28

From reading other peoples posts, so many of us feel or thing we are worthless myself included.. To tell you the truth, I am sick of believing that lie. That sneaky little lie, that causes great crippling within us. And I am thinking that most of us ... View more

From reading other peoples posts, so many of us feel or thing we are worthless myself included.. To tell you the truth, I am sick of believing that lie. That sneaky little lie, that causes great crippling within us. And I am thinking that most of us believe or base our worth on: - what people say about us, like people that say we are worthless -what the media, tv, and movies may portray -whether we have lots of money or not - the type of work we do or do not do - whether we are highly educated or not - what we physically look like - whether we are ignored, neglected. ( yeah this one fits me) - whether we are married or not -whether we have friends, or we don't have friends And there is most likely more reasons that we are trying to get our worth from. And I don't think we have to actually try, it sort of sink into us. This sneaky lie. I think, and I would be interested to know other people's thoughts. We have to base our worth on something that never changes. That is always there. So here is some things to thing about. I am a person of worth because: I AM RARE There is only one of me in the whole population on this earth, this fact never changes. A rare thing is very valuable, priceless. Do you agree? So we must be of some worth if we are so priceless. Anyway that's it With love xxx

Anroca78 Baby steps to getting better
  • replies: 3

Hi, So it's been a nearly a week since I was discharged from local hospital Mental ward. Mental health team have rang me every few days to see how I have been going. I went to my g.p and got bloods done as suggested by the hospital. I had my first ps... View more

Hi, So it's been a nearly a week since I was discharged from local hospital Mental ward. Mental health team have rang me every few days to see how I have been going. I went to my g.p and got bloods done as suggested by the hospital. I had my first psychologist session and she was wonderful. I took my partner in with me, so he was able to ask questions relating to my attempted suicide and admission to psych ward. It really helped. In the end we agreed that it was best for my partner to lock up my meds and give me my doses every day. It sounds drastic, I at first felt my independence was being taken away, but if I want to get better I had to agree. I am feeling better but with Bipolar, you can never be sure of anything. It would stop me from skipping meds as well. Being manic, the first thing I do is spend, spend, spend!. It was agreed that if I become manic, my partner would take my credit card and give it to my mum who lives 15min away. He did not feel comfortable keeping it on him. Past experience of me screaming and chucking a tantrum and searching the place for the credit card meant he did not want to go through it. I don't drive, so taking it and giving it to mum meant I would have trouble retrieving it. These little steps are important to keep me from hitting rock bottom again. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom so that you can begin to heal. I did but boy, it was a draining experience and I do not want to go through it again. Strength in numbers is quite fitting, I am lucky to have family support. And as for staying well... So far so good..

white knight So, is it your illness or your personality?
  • replies: 1

What if we didn't have any mind troubles? What daily/weekly issues would we still have lingering that annoy us about ourselves? Sometimes we can observe our relatives to find an answer. Eating disorders come to mind. Some of us can come to a conclusi... View more

What if we didn't have any mind troubles? What daily/weekly issues would we still have lingering that annoy us about ourselves? Sometimes we can observe our relatives to find an answer. Eating disorders come to mind. Some of us can come to a conclusion that it is "our mental illness" when maybe obesity runs in the family. Moods could be the same. I'm on a hefty dose of mood stabiliser as is two of my blood relatives yet moodiness runs in the family....trouble is bipolar 2 and depression also run in the family and this can be a basis for bad moods or swings. This is just examples of my confusion about the topic as I'm not an expert. Sometimes we grapple at things. I have a relative. She has heavy depression and moods. She told me in front of her younger sister, that she tells her sister all the time about her moods, its like she has 5 houses and every day she could be in any one of those 5 houses....5 different moods. My answer to that was...well if you think that's bad for you, not knowing which mood you'll be in, imagine what its like for your sister? My point here is, insight is a gift for some of us. If you have insight you are one of the lucky ones. But insight into what is part of your mental condition compared to what would be there if you didn't have such condition would clarify so much and take away a lot of "circling around our problems"...indeed focussing on shadows while we could be putting all our energies into the real issues. Consider this: For several years since my first visit to a psychiatrist I was always, for most of my then 47 years in fact, thinking I was the one and only ultra sensitive highly emotional person in my extended blood family. Last November I visited this part of the family interstate for the first time. My parents had split from them when I was a toddler so I hadn't met these people before. To my surprise my sensitive side and the emotional side responsible for some heavy and deep poetry over many years was mirrored by others in the family. One was an entertainer, the other an artist, one a writer and finally one was a WW2 veteran. The war veteran had fought at Kokoda and I'd heard about his battles with mental illness. I, like others put it down to the war...apparently not so, he was much like that prior to the war. My message in this is try to be factual. Talk about these to your doctor/psychiatrist if you are concerned because by discounting some of your "hunches" it could help your recovery. Tony WK

Elizabeth CP Trying to acheive your goals and using positive self talk to stay on track
  • replies: 4

I saw my psychologist this week after a break during which I spiraled down hill with the exercises given to me for exposure therapy for PTSD exacerbating this. As a result my psychologist suggested complete change of focus to more practical goals. Su... View more

I saw my psychologist this week after a break during which I spiraled down hill with the exercises given to me for exposure therapy for PTSD exacerbating this. As a result my psychologist suggested complete change of focus to more practical goals. Summer is difficult for me due to the heat, risk of bushfires, fear of sunburn etc so everything becomes too hard or too scarey so I avoid doing things & become depressed because I'm doing nothing worthwhile. I now have some things I need to do daily or weekly and I am doing better. If I get into a routine I do much better but my life over the last few years has been full of stresses and things going wrong so one of my biggest challenges in coping when things don't go to plan and I have to get back on track. The negative self talk re 'failure' makes things very difficult. My plan to help avoid this is to write down each day which goals have been achieved that day I'm hoping this will help me keep focused. I am also writing down what productive thing I have done today. This is to help me focus on the positive and allow me to write down things that I don't normally count but take up time so I can't do what I want or think I should have done. For example today I keep thinking I haven't done much but then I am reminding myself that I spent several hours driving to and from hospital to pick up my husband and then have organised things he needed once home. I normally don't count that type of thing as doing anything!!! My question is has anyone else got ideas of what they do to keep motivated to achieve goals important for their mental health and particularly when plans have to be flexible to deal with circumstances. Also what do other people do to stop negative self talk destroy progress.

HelenM God as part of my life (but in no way do I expect everyone to agree.
  • replies: 11

Life's quite tough at the moment. When I go to bed I feel the best because the day can't ask any more from me. I write a prayer to God and read a little book that helps. God is dwith me always but unfortunately I don't feel it often during the day. B... View more

Life's quite tough at the moment. When I go to bed I feel the best because the day can't ask any more from me. I write a prayer to God and read a little book that helps. God is dwith me always but unfortunately I don't feel it often during the day. But if I read of religious people from the past some had a good relationship God but it didn't make everything honkey dorey. In fact I think that they were often writing years later and distance enhances the view. When I look at some of my depressions from the past they don't seem so bad. I t seems Mother Teresa found God to be absent throughout most of her life. I'm going out soon and can't finish what I'm saying. Plus I'm getting quite confused. Helen x