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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Know your limits!!
  • replies: 4

Some call it burnout. Others call it breakdown. Whether its depression or any other mental illness they can have a residual effect even if you feel in recovery. I've previously expressed my feeling when "overloaded". As if my mind in an unstressed fo... View more

Some call it burnout. Others call it breakdown. Whether its depression or any other mental illness they can have a residual effect even if you feel in recovery. I've previously expressed my feeling when "overloaded". As if my mind in an unstressed form is a bucket nearly full. When stress or worry arrives it quickly overflows. Then comes the sadness and the intolerance, moods and inability to do anything except enter my comfort zone....my shed. Whereas, a person free of mental issues has an empty bucket and it only fills half way when stress arrives then quickly empties. Rarely does their bucket overflow. Perhaps with trauma. I have a lifelong school friend. He never got emotional until his father died. For the first time I saw him weep. A few days later I was asking him if he'd recovered. He had and he'd realised how his emotional friend had lived his life in an emotional mess. " now I know what you've endured" he said. Back to stress. As explained recently by a bb member, 30 minutes on the phone to a telco or bank can be testing for us. If spent after that, withdraw until the next day from intolerant situations, pace yourself and be disciplined. For you will think along the lines of how you have been in your earlier life...capable and active...well sorry....it isn't like that anymore...adapt, accept...you are damaged goods now. " Damaged goods" a terrible term. A back injury is not any different. If you've had one, how difficult is it to stop bending over to pick something up? " ouch, I shouldn't have done that"... Know your mental limits. Write them down. Read them in the morning. Share them with your carer. What about friends? I don't share them with friends. However say we gave a BBQ and the topic surrounding animal cruelty or family suffering or similar topic that can lead to a panic attack or upset....in a large group I'll give excuse to leave and return 20 minutes later. In a small gathering I'll ask to change the subject. Recently my good neighbour was talking about his dog and details of his passing. " that's sad Col, anyway how's that car restoration going"... This self awareness has been developing for 20 years. I think I'm getting there. Know your limitations. Etch them in your mind. Beware the overflowing bucket. Then you'll have less upset, your carer will be happier and you'll settle down to pace yourself....and that call to the council about your rates? One stressful call a day...it can wait till tomorrow. Tony WK

Evan_John My life in a years time...
  • replies: 4

Hi friends at BB, I came across a particular strategy a week ago in a bulimia recovery guide that I've really taken a liking to (I'm not bulimic but have found the guide incredibly useful for working with my negative self-view and anxiety). These two... View more

Hi friends at BB, I came across a particular strategy a week ago in a bulimia recovery guide that I've really taken a liking to (I'm not bulimic but have found the guide incredibly useful for working with my negative self-view and anxiety). These two simple paragraphs lighten my load every time I refer to them. They give me perspective and hope, and I find I love and accept myself more easily after doing it. It makes me happy sharing it with you all. Please feel free to create your own version in the thread below for whatever situation you find yourself working to grow through. My Life in 1 years time... if I keep on NOT loving and accepting myself. I sleep poorly at night and awake not refreshed, just dull and tired. My energy levels are inconsistent and it's work getting up for work. I'm self-conscious in my workplace, trying to prove, please, perfect, and perform. I carry this to all of my workplaces. I carry this to all of my relationships. I carry this to any and every country I visit. No love anyone gives me will ever be enough and my relationships fail. I become more alone and punish myself because I'm not enough. My Life in 1 years time... if I grow to love and accepting myself. I have energy, so much I don't know what to do with it! I awake joyous and feeling loved in the morning. This is effortless. I'm comfortable wherever I am because I'm centered. I trust my partner wholeheartedly and she feels free and loved. I travel embracing the fear and excitement. I have genuine gems of wisdom from my growth and my artwork expresses this. Mindfulness, gratitude, and joy roll out of me and I'm vulnerable to life.

Gettingbetter23 Self compassion
  • replies: 3

Hi All, I'm brand new and this is my first post! I'm working on getting out of the hole but sometimes I slip back in and feel I'm back at square one. Being compassionate towards others is easy, but I'm learning that I need to have compassion for myse... View more

Hi All, I'm brand new and this is my first post! I'm working on getting out of the hole but sometimes I slip back in and feel I'm back at square one. Being compassionate towards others is easy, but I'm learning that I need to have compassion for myself. For a long time I hated myself. But that doesn't get me anywhere. Hoping things will get better with time - step by step. Thanks for listening.

Karenh Mindfulness
  • replies: 6

Have you tried it? How did it work for you?

Have you tried it? How did it work for you?

Sharny Replacing negative self talk with more useful thoughts
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'll let you in on a little success I've had over the years replacing negative thoughts with more useful thought. I'd love to invite people to share their experiences to! An example which occurs a lot with me for instance is when I'm involved in ... View more

Hi, I'll let you in on a little success I've had over the years replacing negative thoughts with more useful thought. I'd love to invite people to share their experiences to! An example which occurs a lot with me for instance is when I'm involved in a group setting I instantly feel my worth is lower. It's a horrible feeling. I've had spontaneous feelings that what i have to offer or say is not appealing or that I'm viewed as weak. Over the past few years I've tried shifting those thoughts. If I walk into a fundraising meeting where a new idea is being discussed for instance, I make an agreement with myself to just let fly with my ideas and be willing to accept criticism no matter what. I've worked out that this way instead of my mind 'wondering' what people think of me, its all 'out there' no matter what so the uncertainty of thought has gone. I tell myself any negativity that 'might' of been present toward me will be accepted by myself should it arise. This ACCEPTANCE of what might come through feels better for my health. Another example is if I feel someone does not like me, if their body language is suggestive of being a bit shut off for instance, not engaging with me in a meeting or even a social event instead of letting the experience spiral off to 'it must be me they hate', I rather choose to replace it with other possibilities. These might be, may be that person is shy? may be that person has something else going on in life at the moment? may be they struggle in social scene? May be they don't wan't to share an idea and would rather someone else in the group do it? I've found this helps shift my negative self talk. Has anyone else got stories similar in getting over the top of thought? I would love to hear your success, trials etc?

Cantthinkofadisplayname1 The Olympic Games for people with depression and anxiety.
  • replies: 3

With all this hoo har about Rio I thought I'd make a lighthearted post about another type of game...the game of life. In particular the challenges, or should I say "events", that people on this forum regularly compete in. 1) Bedsheet wrestling: Consi... View more

With all this hoo har about Rio I thought I'd make a lighthearted post about another type of game...the game of life. In particular the challenges, or should I say "events", that people on this forum regularly compete in. 1) Bedsheet wrestling: Consists of entrants struggling to sleep at night locked in a guruling battle with doonahs and bedsheets. Points awarded according to how knotted your sheets are in the morning. Sorry peeps but I'm a WR holder in this event! 2) 1 meter crawl: The second event of the BB Olympics. Entrants must summon the motivation and strenght to get out of bed and face another day. Cautioned if you can't 'Rise and Shine' but not disqualified. 3) The 16hr race: One of the games hardest events. Includes remaining focused on getting through the day....doing what you have to do in order to keep going forward. This is not a strictly solo event...receiving outside support is not only encouraged but increases the entrants prospect for medal contention. 4) The last hurdle: Entrants must successfully feed themselves, despite levels of appetite, wash away the days woes and stresses and get ready to face heat 2 the following day. All entrants that progress to the next day's events are considered champions and true athletes. Gold medals to everyone on here CT

jess_sticky03 City2Surf Journey
  • replies: 2

Hi all, This is my first post so apologies if it is not up to scratch. Yesterday I completed the City2Surf for BeyondBlue. I ended up raising a total of $865, and just wanted to let you know a little about how much it meant to run for your charity. E... View more

Hi all, This is my first post so apologies if it is not up to scratch. Yesterday I completed the City2Surf for BeyondBlue. I ended up raising a total of $865, and just wanted to let you know a little about how much it meant to run for your charity. Earlier this year I was hospitalised due to mental health issues, and less than 6 months later I completed the whole 14km without walking. The mind has such a strong power to take you beyond limits you thought was possible, but can just as easily bring you down to nothing without any warning. My mission through my City2Surf journey was to bring awareness to foundations such as BeyondBlue, so that people knew that there is help out there, and that people could feel slightly more capable knowing that it's okay if you need to reach out for help. I am so glad that I found this foundation, and just wanted to let anyone on here know that the help is out there for you. Things are definitely not okay, but they aren't over either. And connecting with support services like this and friends and family, is definitely in the right direction. Stay strong everyone!

Cold_Mirror When the help gets sick
  • replies: 7

I think you guys will understand this. I tried talking to a friend last night, but I'm not sure that he gets it. As I'm leaving therapy this year, I've been making a list of people and things that I can rely upon when I need short-term help. One of t... View more

I think you guys will understand this. I tried talking to a friend last night, but I'm not sure that he gets it. As I'm leaving therapy this year, I've been making a list of people and things that I can rely upon when I need short-term help. One of the people is my gp who always gives me the time I need and is a great listener. He has buckets of compassion and is sometimes better than some psychologists. He took some long service leave earlier in the year and I kept hearing that he's not back even though the return date was sometime in June. The receptionist told me yesterday that he is ill and may not be back for another two months. I know there are other sources of help for me, but I felt very sad and a bit scared. It must be something horrible to need that much sick leave. I pretended all afternoon that everything was normal, but I went home and cried. I also ate a lot of ice cream, although I know that is not the best way of dealing with my emotions. I could cry now, but I need to get ready for work. I think I need to put aside some time to just cry it out. I know that all relationships end either because people go away or die. It's life. Part of my problem is that I had a lot of significant people die on me when I was younger - especially males. That makes me a bit more sensitive about possible losses. I am not greatly religious, but I said prayers and lit a candle last night for him. He is only 59. I had been mentally preparing for the retirement, but not for anything beyond that. I am grateful that I have a few more therapy sessions left. I am also grateful for everyone here. Okay, now I am crying. At least crying is helpful, whereas ice cream is just ice cream. I don't know whether this belongs in the bereavement part of the forum, because no-one has actually passed yet. ...

Just Sara See-Saw, Marjorie Door - Finding the middle of the proverbial stick
  • replies: 14

I recently posted on 2 threads re self love and self-esteem; wonderful topics and worthy of our community's agenda. Something I wrote sparked some thought this morning about balance and what this means. I have an analogy I use for this school of thou... View more

I recently posted on 2 threads re self love and self-esteem; wonderful topics and worthy of our community's agenda. Something I wrote sparked some thought this morning about balance and what this means. I have an analogy I use for this school of thought; a long stick with positive on one end and negative on the other. I guess it's like a see-saw. Playing on one of these growing up meant going up and down was fun, but when each stood still and the plank held steady so both had their feet on the ground, things were balanced. For most of us on here, we tend to find a counter balance for every good thought we have, be it big or small. eg. I did a great job cleaning the house this morning, it looks great! Rebuff - Mum's coming over today; she'll pick my work to pieces. That's what I thought balance was. This is how we see-saw from one extreme to the other. It might have been fun physically as a child, but in our minds, there's just one person controlling the balance. So we run from one end to the other trying to play this game alone, then exhaustion and low mood sets in. I chose the pseudonym 'Dizzy' because I had a duality of thoughts constantly going back and forth trying to find this sense of balance, but all I got was dizzy. Mind boggling confusion and each day was 'up and down'. I'd been playing both roles...me and 'them'. This morning I remembered what I used to do when I didn't have anyone to play with on the see-saw. I'd sit in the middle and shift my weight to make it move. It wasn't as good as playing with anyone else, but it created movement none the less, just not as drastic as the level created by two. It also meant I had total control. I wrote a list of all my accomplishments in my life and thought about how I really wanted others to validate those. Looking at the list I told myself to let go of wanting to have someone else to play with and look at it from a place of control and self support. Wow...I've done some great things in my life! Understanding there's just me to look at my list, I didn't need a counter balance. There were so many positive things, finding negative ones was just too hard; you know...running to the other end of the see-saw. Just sharing my thoughts...can you relate? Please try this and let me know how you go...Dizzy xo

Wild_ What's your go-to movie to watch on a bad day?
  • replies: 34

Hi all, Today was a bad day for me. I just call them "bad days" - it simplifies it for me. On bad days when I'm feeling particularly teary (like today), I like to watch one of my go-to movies when my depression is at the front of my mind. Mostly, it'... View more

Hi all, Today was a bad day for me. I just call them "bad days" - it simplifies it for me. On bad days when I'm feeling particularly teary (like today), I like to watch one of my go-to movies when my depression is at the front of my mind. Mostly, it's to help me cry at something other than myself. Some of my go-to movies: - Extrelemy Loud and Incredibly Close - Crash Do you have go-to movies for bad days?