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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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SourceShield --->>> SNORT <<<---
  • replies: 3

Hello. No - this is not a reference to some A-class stuff...that Patsy from Ab Fab may also be into, but more-so, stands for... Smiling Negative-thought OverRide Therapy. It's actually just a form of SmileMeditation, that I've been practicing for a f... View more

Hello. No - this is not a reference to some A-class stuff...that Patsy from Ab Fab may also be into, but more-so, stands for... Smiling Negative-thought OverRide Therapy. It's actually just a form of SmileMeditation, that I've been practicing for a few years now, along with LaughterMeditation. My autistic noggin can take things a bit TOO seriously at times. I guess that in these forums, its easy for the written word to be easily misunderstood...especially when so many of us are dealing with all sorts of 'things', on all different sorts of 'levels'. But, ask anyone that knows me in person...and theyll tell you that I laugh a lot. I do my job - I work hard and smart but I like to have fun while I am doing it! I learned this technique a few years back, and I would like to share it here with all you beautiful people... ---SNORT--- I usually do this in bed, when I first wake up...to 'program' my day! I lie there...Deep, slow, intentional breaths...Generate a smile that meets the eyes - in other words a really big smile, and yes, your cheeks will be feeling it! Also, lift the eye brows...I wish I could upload a pic...but essentially your creating a really big smile, that meets the eyes, and lifting the eyebrows as well...the eye brows kinda like what you would do if youre really surprised!. Big smile, eyebrows lifted...youll probably feel silly...but dont worry about that...no one will see you. And, when youve got that sorted...think of as many things that genuinely make you smile or at least think of as many 'feel good things'- whatever that is for you. Sometimes for me, when I cant think of much...'cause I am having one of 'those' moments, I will just focus on my dog Bundy...and thats plenty. I do that for about 20mins now, but to start off with do it for as long as you can, but no longer than 20mins. 20mins is plenty to reprogram and rewire the pathways. Also, watch out because youll also come up against thoughts that wont make you smile at all...thoughts like...why did she say that???...what did they mean???...why are they so mean to me???...just smile through those thoughts! And, if crying comes up...allow yourself to go with those tears! Crying is a great release of stress and cortisol, the stress hormone. And, I find after a really good 'cry-release' - It makes my smile so much more meaningful! Thats it. Seriously. Its not meant to be rocket-surgery! Simple and effective SmileMeditation. Takes about 4weeks to perfect! HaveFun!

white knight There isn't much use in "hoping"
  • replies: 7

A Facebook message said"I hope 2017 is a better year than 2016". The word "hope" in that phrase , to me is a hollow word. Its sort of like, the writer has no say in their own destiny...they are relying on luck. The good thing about a "been there done... View more

A Facebook message said"I hope 2017 is a better year than 2016". The word "hope" in that phrase , to me is a hollow word. Its sort of like, the writer has no say in their own destiny...they are relying on luck. The good thing about a "been there done that" life is that one immediately notices a bad attitude or in this case an attitude relying on luck rather that an attitude of progressive determination. That fact is, we shape our own future and yes there are unexpected tragedies and financial problems and the like that hinder our positivity. But overall, a positive attitude will see you have a better year next year through determination. List your new years resolutions. Eg I won't take abuse anymore I will set aside rest times I will listen to my friends problems Etc. Luck plays little part in our future. I believe we shape our own future with being decisive, taking action, researching things we don't know and building relationships. What do you think about this? Good luck! Tony WK

Lostflutterby Scrapbooking
  • replies: 3

Has anyone ever created a scrapbook/ journal to help with their journey. I have the means and opportunity but am unsure on how to start and was wondering if anyone had managed this?Likewise, what would you include in your scrapbook? Thanks.

Has anyone ever created a scrapbook/ journal to help with their journey. I have the means and opportunity but am unsure on how to start and was wondering if anyone had managed this?Likewise, what would you include in your scrapbook? Thanks.

SourceShield --->>>THANK YOU<<<---
  • replies: 16

Hello. I could feel myself slipping. This weekend...BB, helped me to stay a float. The posts that I have read, and those that I have commented on, have genuinely helped me to not do anything foolish. I'll be honest, it's actually taken me a few years... View more

Hello. I could feel myself slipping. This weekend...BB, helped me to stay a float. The posts that I have read, and those that I have commented on, have genuinely helped me to not do anything foolish. I'll be honest, it's actually taken me a few years to 'trust' BB - thats just me, hyper-vigilance can also sneak up on you in the online-world as well. Comes from never feeling safe as a kid. But, this weekend I have shed tears that have washed over me...and have cracked me open, to let more of the light in. I have shared from my soul...and I have felt genuine connection and care, from complete strangers. I'm not gonna over-analyse that, because I get that its always easier to hide behind, or more-so, hide in front-of, a computer screen and to write words, words, words, that are just that...words. BUT - I have laughed and smiled at the pure awesomeness of so many of the peeps that share on BB. I actually can't express fully how much I feel that BB has SAVED me this weekend. I know it sounds corny but there you have it...I am incredibly thankful. I carry myself as a very confident, assertive and intelligent man but sometimes I feel SO pathetic, stupid, worthless and useless that it floors me. Sometimes, I just dont cope. Lately, thats how I've been. The psychological conditioning and programming that I live with...has a lot to answer for. The autism, and major depressive episodes...break me down, and at the most inopportune of times. And, I crumble. BUT - not this weekend. I feel oddly at ease and peaceful. And, thats thanks to you guys...all of you. MuchMuchMuchLove&Gratitude. Kaitoa Wolfe

SourceShield Addicted To Dopamine...and all the rest.
  • replies: 2

Hey. I have come to see BeyondBlue, or more-so, the Forums and how I can respond to other threads etc...as another way that I am 'feeding' an addictive personality behaviour. HFA - for me, means that my brain goes at high speed, all the time. I use t... View more

Hey. I have come to see BeyondBlue, or more-so, the Forums and how I can respond to other threads etc...as another way that I am 'feeding' an addictive personality behaviour. HFA - for me, means that my brain goes at high speed, all the time. I use this 'power' for good - completing a PhD and I run my own company and micro-businesses, as well. But, I have mindfully assessed that as I respond to more post - though still sincere and as objective as I can - this gives me a huge 'rush'...its the dopamine (other neurotransmitters etc would be at play, but this would be the dominant chem released) I am becoming addicted to the forums, because, as I respond I 'feel' good. Dopamine = Happy Chem produced when we 'do' things, the REWARD drug!. Like when we tick things off a list...dopamine rush! BUT - Dopamine will also be released when unpleasant situations are encountered. i.e. when I get an email stating that a post is being moderated. Sends my brain into...OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG NOW mode... Which also releases dopamine. I am writing to, see if others can see this in any areas of their life too?. Having an IQ of 160, I have prided myself on how my brain is quick and efficient with info-processing, but when we combine this with how the frontal lobe, the home of the empathy network, can work or doesn't work together in some cases, its easy to see how we can become addicted to stimuli. i.e. Lets say that a person was abused as a child. The neo-cortex will develop in such a way that they are forever 'feeling' and looking for danger...as is seen in hyper-vigilance. The dopamine receptors will maladapt and instead of 'scouting' for 'positive' ways to release the happy-chem, theyll seek out painful and hurtful and abusive relationships because they are hooked to the way the dopamine rush feels for them...even if it is an abusive relationship. Its all rather twisted. I work from home, and I can easily sit in front of the laptop and 'post' all day...like a drug fiend. I'm gonna clean my room now - which will be a 'good' rush of the chem. Lift some weights and then take the muttly for a walk. Eat some good food. And, limit my time on BB...as much as I am thankful to the community, for being here. Its important to release the 'chems' in other ways too, so that when I am on BB...its a pleasure and not a chore! This revelation has helped me to see more space in my life that needs balance and harmony. How is it for you?. MuchLove.

white knight Being withdrawn to achieving confidence
  • replies: 3

I find it amusing, of all the people I’ve met that have had a diagnosed mental illness, none have in my opinion been arrogant. Why would this be? Could there be a common factor among the emotionally unstable that does not allow them to be seen or act... View more

I find it amusing, of all the people I’ve met that have had a diagnosed mental illness, none have in my opinion been arrogant. Why would this be? Could there be a common factor among the emotionally unstable that does not allow them to be seen or act in an arrogant way? I think so. In a sliding scale it could be assumed we are within the scope of withdrawn and confident. Confidence is when we have sufficient knowledge on topics and can convey that knowledge to other people. An “air” of confidence results. We can rely on our own abilities and opinions then we are confident within ourselves. Arrogance is when one has knowledge of topics but believes other people have less knowledge and portrays grandeur. We all know what withdrawn means and it doesn't sound positive. However seeking withdrawal could be voluntary as a means for example of finding safety. Some of us are comfortable with our own company or limited in the numbers of people in contact and the quality of people we associate with. On-line forums such as this one offers anonymousity which can be wonderful for the withdrawn because one can regulate ones input from zero to regular. So most of us should have a goal. To become confident within ourselves enough so that we possess knowledge of our illnesses, emotions and restrictions to the point whereby we know all facets of our condition. That alone would give us awareness enough to continue on with life better than it has. It would mean we are improving, advancing and in many ways we are conquering our fears brought about from doubt, lack of information and knowledge. Once confident we can then pass onto others our store of information. There is one proviso- that we don’t emit an air of grandeur or we would have slid onto into the arrogant category. People don’t like arrogance so that would work against us. Learning, for many new members is right here within the pages of this forum. Each night you could choose two threads, read, learn and digest them to add to your knowledge, for knowledge obtained about yourself and why you are like you are is one of the best tools for recovery. Remember, recovery is not likely 100% but a level of happiness, contentment, as much stability you are capable of achieving and a minimum of social communication. Research, listening to others mixed with professional guidance can be a potent mix to point you in the right direction to becoming confident. Confidence through knowledge is good. Tony WK

SourceShield Just A Simple Reflection.
  • replies: 22

Morning! Simply sharing to express, rather than to seek advice. I'm just asking questions, and your comments are always valuable...even when I'm feeling gruff. I'm a bit of a lone wolf you see. Thought I was tough. I heard a tale the other day that m... View more

Morning! Simply sharing to express, rather than to seek advice. I'm just asking questions, and your comments are always valuable...even when I'm feeling gruff. I'm a bit of a lone wolf you see. Thought I was tough. I heard a tale the other day that made perfect sense to me, and I wanted to share it with you. Just too see, what you think of it. We all have two wolves inside of us, they are always hungry and gnash and growl at each other. One wolf feeds on our apathy, grief, envy, fear etc... The other, on our courage, acceptance, joy and compassion etc... Its not the best wolf that wins the battle within, but the wolf we feed. The question that begs to be answered of course is, what wolf am I feeding? Courage looks different on all of us at different times of our life... Sometimes courage can look like walking away from an abusive relationship, and sometimes its being with the person you love, even if your friends and family don't understand your sexuality. Acceptance can look like tears of joy or tears of sadness. I'm just writing because I was told over and over and over again to shut up as a kid, that now I just wanna talk to people...but it has to be healthy talk now. I've been, what I now recognise as, completely and holistically unwell for all of my life so far. But thankfully, I now believe...and know for sure that I can be healthy and well. We all can - In whatever way that looks like for you, and for me...for everyone. It's not an overnight process, but it does come down to a choice made in a moment. They never told me that forgiveness is a process, but now I know and I forgive because it does actually feel good for me. Forgiveness...is selfish, but in a good way. I reckon. Its saying, I'm over this kaka, and I am moving on, AND I'm growing from this experience. It's the ultimate two-finger salute of them all! Here's something crazy for you... I currently have a limit of 2500 characters to use when posting - it happens for all newbies, I think, BUT my nutty HFA brain must use ALL the characters, or else it goes cuckoo-bird for a bit. I'll make the rest of this post as painless as possible! I'm actually taking the complete mickey out of myself, 'cause at this stage of ones life...its important to accept ones 'crazy' moments. I have many. Whats yours? I have a thing with smells. Textures...etc etc I get that you may not want to share your 'crazy' but if you do, keep it clean and safe... All g.

SourceShield HFA - High Functioning Autism
  • replies: 0

Hi there. I would like to share how it is for me - living with an HFA brain, and maybe this will also resonate with any other HFA champions out here! Many of my HFA characteristics are actually non-typical in that, back when I was born, in the late 7... View more

Hi there. I would like to share how it is for me - living with an HFA brain, and maybe this will also resonate with any other HFA champions out here! Many of my HFA characteristics are actually non-typical in that, back when I was born, in the late 70s and in NZ, we really had no idea about HFA, so this condition went undiagnosed for many, many, many years - What this means is that, because no one was looking for or looking at the HFA, my behaviours - which would now be seen as TYPICAL HFA behaviours etc, were actually just seen as me being a naughty boy...and so that was the label that I wore. I lived up to that label. But, NOW - I know that its 'just' HFA. It means that we live in world of NEURODIVERSITY - means that our brains, though mostly of the same structure, are all wired differently! Thats all. Most people in the world are classified as NEUROTYPICAL - normal functioning brains, but some have Aspergers, and some a more severely debilitating form of autism, and others, like me, have HFA. HFA and Autism are untreatable, in that, this is how our brain is always gonna be! I used to see that as a blight but I have fully, as fully as I can, embraced the HFA - which is important. Making peace with something that is untreatable...is vital to ones holistic health...otherwise the battle becomes a never ending war, and that just gets really exhausting and can lead to other ailments and conditions. What most people dont get about HFA is that... Most people overthink - thats actually kinda normal, BUT with HFA, multiply that times a trillion! I feel that its important to turn what could be a negative into a positive, so I use my super-analytical brain to do wonderful things! People like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg have learned how to channel that 'energy' into worthy causes and goals and objectives etc. And, I too aspire to do great things with my life. But, its a misconception that all people with HFA are geniuses or have a high IQ, thats just not possible. Most HFA peeps are able to live a very good, healthy life but its also common for those of us that have developed non-typical responses to have developed anxiety disorders, major depressive episodes etc etc etc...especially if the HFA has gone untreated, as mine did. I am incredibly blessed and live a life full of rich and beautiful experiences but I still, like many here, have my down days and moments too. I'm here to support any person here with Autism, Aspergers or HFA. Peace

gld Promoting a better environment
  • replies: 3

Hi, How as a society/group promote a better environment in a workplace/public to help others who are finding things difficult and not sharing to have better outcomes. Gen

Hi, How as a society/group promote a better environment in a workplace/public to help others who are finding things difficult and not sharing to have better outcomes. Gen

Hopefulldance Does exercise improve mood or cause a crash
  • replies: 7

I have gone to crossfit several times now and every time without fail I crash. I have bipolar2. Does this happen to anyone else?

I have gone to crossfit several times now and every time without fail I crash. I have bipolar2. Does this happen to anyone else?