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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Sean1 What is the meaning of Life?
  • replies: 25

This question is something ive pondered often over the last 12 mths. I have just joined this site in trying to seek the answers im looking for. I used to think life was about acquiring material possessions and thus at a young age i strived to succeed... View more

This question is something ive pondered often over the last 12 mths. I have just joined this site in trying to seek the answers im looking for. I used to think life was about acquiring material possessions and thus at a young age i strived to succeed and make my mark on the world. I clearly remember my first job over 100 k a yr...i was 19 yrs old and it was alot of money 15yrs ago. To say i was ecstatic was an understatement. As time went on i strived for more 100 k become 150 then 200 then 250k and yet i still wanted more. It was envitable that i would run and manage my own company and i have never been one afraid to take risks, albeit calculated risks. When i first went out on my own it was exciting times...i thought if i can make 10 000 dollars a week ill be happy but that figure came and long since went. Fast forward to now, i have a very successful multinational company and my own profit dividends are over $100 000 a week and yet i am truly lost. Somehow i can still run this company but what most people dont know is that im an alcoholic with a highlevel cocaine habit. In the last yr its cost me my wife and much more. I have the very expensive cars, the houses the boats, theres nothing i cant really buy and yet i feel so very empty. Nothing seems to matter much anymore, i have no goals, nothing to drive me. Im more miserable now then i have ever been and yet i have so much compared to most. I see the young children in 3rd world countries who have nothing and yet theres a smile on their face and i feel ashamed that i have so much and im so ungrateful. Along the way i became ruthless and greedy and when i look in the mirror i despise the man ive become. I often now contemplate what the meaning of life is...because i feel i no longer want to be part of it. We are born, we live and inevitably one day we die. What is the grand plan for us? Knowing what i know now i would trade all i have to be truly happy and live a meagre existence. I feel i have lost the motivation and the will to live and im not afraid of that, though i know i should be. How can i find the strength to endure and maybe truly understand the true meaning of life, because despite what lots of people may think money does not bring happiness. It gives you choices and that is all.

Chibam Racism
  • replies: 12

Okay, first off, to limit any confusion, I'm white, 3rd generation Australian. Raised Christian, but I'm not a disciple of any major religion. I just read this article about what some muslim women are going through here, in light of currant events, a... View more

Okay, first off, to limit any confusion, I'm white, 3rd generation Australian. Raised Christian, but I'm not a disciple of any major religion. I just read this article about what some muslim women are going through here, in light of currant events, and it's pretty sad. The ones who were interviewed seem to be feeling phsyically threatened, or at the very least shunned by the non-muslim community as a whole and for various reasons, I don't believe it's an overreaction on their part. I wish someone had some good ideas about how to stop the racism. It makes me feel dirty to know that this is such a strong aspect of the community I'm supposed to identify with. But perhaps what disgusts me more is that in some way I can actually relate to it. I was bought up to be racist. From a very young age I remember sometimes hearing my dad rant things like "All (Ethnic Group A) are grubs!" or "Ah, you bloody (Ethnic Group B) ratbag!" while watching the news. My community was virtually all white Christian, especially my classmates. Throughout my school life, I never actually had significant contact with anyone from ethnic groups "A" or "B" to be able to make up my own mind about these people, so basically my whole experience of these other ethnic groups was through the racist rantings I got bombarded with in the privacy of our home. By the time we learned in school about the Nazi holocaust and how terrible a thing racism is, I think the damage might've already been done. I like to believe I'm not at all racist. I know it's absurd to judge someone based on their race, or the behaviour of a handful of members of their community. But deep down, gut reaction-wise, I get uneasy around people from ethnic groups "A" and "B". I try not to let it show - my problem shouldn't become their problem - I never have anything derogatory to say about them. But I just really wish I didn't have this disease. I wish we, as a country didn't have this disease. I wish it wasn't part of who we are. It makes me wonder, is this generally how the story goes? Does all this ridiculous hatred come from a bunch of nonsense ranting people heard as kids? Were we so bombarded with cultural horror stories of vampires and werewolves that now whenever we see someone wearing a funny cape or who is especially hairy we believe their coming to suck our blood? It seems so ridiculous that these hollow statements are causing so much pain.

SourceShield --->>> Homelessness Hacks <<<---
  • replies: 0

Hey Folks, A couple years back now, I experienced homelessness, for a whole year!. I had made some very 'poor' financial decisions. But, I am on track now, soon I will be opening a Creativity Consultancy Company in Melbourne, so my life is all good! ... View more

Hey Folks, A couple years back now, I experienced homelessness, for a whole year!. I had made some very 'poor' financial decisions. But, I am on track now, soon I will be opening a Creativity Consultancy Company in Melbourne, so my life is all good! <- Comparatively speaking of course!. I offer this post for any that may experience homelessness. I'm guessing that most, if not all, are reading from the comfort of a home. But, if youre not, or in the future, if life gets you down and out on the street, just know that I am here - there is no judgement. If you need support, remember this post, and other links - to keep you safe and sane!. ---HACKS--- Basics - Find a place to wash yourself and keep yourself 'fresh'. I lied to the guy at the gym, and got myself free membership, for two weeks - it meant that I could store my bags in the locker for the day, until I needed it at night. I was clean. And, I could exercise, homelessness, gets really boring! There are other places to clean up, take note of these places as you walk around the streets. Listen to other people that are experiencing homelessness, but also use discernment, some places are filthy. Listen out for the 'free food' places - these resources are here, so take advantage of them...take what you must, but no more. There are others that need to eat as well. Keep your wits about you - I wrote everyday. I also had my dog with me, so he always keeps me mindful. But, do something everyday to keep your presence of mind. This is important, too many on the streets, go 'mad' with it all. I totally get it now - it only took me 3 days of sleeping on concrete streets, for me to feel my sanity slipping. I feel that many on the streets cant move beyond this state of homelessness, because they have 'lost it', due to being on the street. Its a vicious cycle. Visit libraries etc, and if they have free internet...use it! I was looking on Gumtree for work, everyday. Day jobs...meant a little more money - that meant freedom! Find a 'spot' to sleep, and keep that as your 'base' to return to. That helps to keep routine in your life, again very important for the homeless. Above all, do not let the shame that you may feel, beat you on this one. If you are on the streets, and dont wanna be there, there is no shame in raising your hands and asking for help. Your feelings are valid too, whether you are homeless or not. There are other hacks, and if there are any questions, I am here for you!

V17 Validation: Excuse, reason - what does it mean?
  • replies: 9

Hello, The word valid or validation, in the context of feeling, is something I've only come across since I've began this journey. I'm finding it difficult to get my head around it. Like for instance, when I act in a manner - say I'm feeling angry - t... View more

Hello, The word valid or validation, in the context of feeling, is something I've only come across since I've began this journey. I'm finding it difficult to get my head around it. Like for instance, when I act in a manner - say I'm feeling angry - that in hindsight, I see as me taking anger out on my son; to be told my feelings are valid confuses me. I mean, what about accountability and repercussions? I'm thinking perhaps by validating my anger because I feel it, doesn't take into consideration the reflection process after I feel it and why I feel it. Does this make sense? Or is this term 'validation' an immediate response and part of a process? I'm feeling confused about it and would welcome and appreciate any thoughts on this. V.

white knight Your attitude is not a mental illness
  • replies: 4

Many of us struggle here just to get out of bed, get kids off to school and even minor tasks. That state, the one we struggle with, wrestle with and seek comfort from others, is mental illness whereby your will, desires, dreams are slow to achieve. H... View more

Many of us struggle here just to get out of bed, get kids off to school and even minor tasks. That state, the one we struggle with, wrestle with and seek comfort from others, is mental illness whereby your will, desires, dreams are slow to achieve. However, our attitudes from poor to good are fully achievable within a reasonable time frame and it can only come from you. A change in attitude can turn around a number of things. You might have a poor attitude towards your carer because he/she is the only person present most of the time and you attitude is that because they are in the firing line- they should cop it. STOP NOW. Change your attitude because a/ it is hard to put up with and b/ your relationship could be terminal and the most important- c/ its wrong and its your doing. Long relationships, marriages that have lasted over 20 years seem , from my observation, to have the worst attitudes towards each other. It is a clear case of taking their partners for granted and their attitudes are often full of contempt for the other person. It like its a case of years and years of being with each other has formed a resentment that is hard to change. Relationships are a work in progress. Once the work stops the spark is put out. No spark and there is little happiness. Changing your attitude from this form of negativity is hard. Firstly you need to erase all past issues, conflicts, arguments and the like. Then reignite your relationship with some romance and care. This "care" can be as little as returning a question they have asked you daily "r u ok"? If your partner is your carer then they likely deserve all of this new found attention for their journey with you has been and continues to be, a hard one due to illness. But overall attitude change from bad to good, can change your life. Again, I'm not referring to mental illness and its restrictions. I'm talking about what you are capable of. So you might have to dig deep to separate what is effected by illness and what is bad attitude. A change in attitude has a snowball effect. It can enlighten your partner to make them feel more positive too. They in turn feel better that your approach to them has improved, you are showing respect, care and pride. You appreciate them working when you cannot. Their happiness lifts you too without you realising it sometimes. And if you have children, you would be moving their home life closer towards a 'normal' household. Dad is sick but he now smiles at us. That's gold.

SourceShield ...and this is why I am so (bleeping) Angry...NOW! - THE CLEAN VERSION.
  • replies: 11

Hey Peeps, (This is TAKE 2 - The original was laden with a few CHOICE WORDS...I am grateful that I can simply edit and re-post.) The reason that I am so angry/furious/Bleeped-Off/Enraged... NOW... Is because I feel that I've wasted so much (bleeping)... View more

Hey Peeps, (This is TAKE 2 - The original was laden with a few CHOICE WORDS...I am grateful that I can simply edit and re-post.) The reason that I am so angry/furious/Bleeped-Off/Enraged... NOW... Is because I feel that I've wasted so much (bleeping) time worrying about crap that I shouldnt have been worrying about. I feel that I have spent too much time (bleeped) off at the small stuff. Concerned about (bleep) that now just seems sooooo immaterial. I am sorry - I love swear words, and I really wanna use many choice words right now, but I get that we can't, but I am THAT (bleeping) furious. Please don't get me wrong...this is a GOOD thing for me. I am learning to vent in a positive way - for me and for my health, holistically. I know that may seem selfish and I will get it, if no one continues to read this because perhaps the brevity of my anger may trigger something. But I have come to see BB as a dear friend...someone that I CAN trust, and that means so (bleeping) much to me. I have three - YEP, count 'em... 3 convictions for getting into fights with guys. Nearly ended up killed in a bar fight - Glassed in the face, and my partner was killed. I never got to go to his funeral. His parents didnt know he was gay. I must learn to release this anger...in a healthy way for me now, or it IS going to kill me. For real. Internally, as in chemical-overload, or externally, as in killed because I lost control one day. I have been so angry for such a very long time. I've hated for such a long time, and I NOW get that it really AINT WORTH IT, SO I GIVE IT UP. I must surrender. I have to stop lying to myself, and beating myself down...ALL THE TIME. I am lovable. I am a good man. And, I can be as healthy and as happy as I choose to be. And so it is. I must do whatever it takes now. I forgive my family. I love them...pack of (bleeping) weirdoes to the MAX...but I love them. I must LOVE me now. And, that means that I must share the love that I really DO feel with everyone. Thats how I am going to beat the RAGE inside me. Kill it with KINDNESS. LOVING-(bleeping)-KINDNESS. Thats me, anyway. I hope you all know that I love who you are, and I'm here. WelcomeToEarth. LuvYa

SourceShield --->>> SNORT <<<---
  • replies: 3

Hello. No - this is not a reference to some A-class stuff...that Patsy from Ab Fab may also be into, but more-so, stands for... Smiling Negative-thought OverRide Therapy. It's actually just a form of SmileMeditation, that I've been practicing for a f... View more

Hello. No - this is not a reference to some A-class stuff...that Patsy from Ab Fab may also be into, but more-so, stands for... Smiling Negative-thought OverRide Therapy. It's actually just a form of SmileMeditation, that I've been practicing for a few years now, along with LaughterMeditation. My autistic noggin can take things a bit TOO seriously at times. I guess that in these forums, its easy for the written word to be easily misunderstood...especially when so many of us are dealing with all sorts of 'things', on all different sorts of 'levels'. But, ask anyone that knows me in person...and theyll tell you that I laugh a lot. I do my job - I work hard and smart but I like to have fun while I am doing it! I learned this technique a few years back, and I would like to share it here with all you beautiful people... ---SNORT--- I usually do this in bed, when I first wake up...to 'program' my day! I lie there...Deep, slow, intentional breaths...Generate a smile that meets the eyes - in other words a really big smile, and yes, your cheeks will be feeling it! Also, lift the eye brows...I wish I could upload a pic...but essentially your creating a really big smile, that meets the eyes, and lifting the eyebrows as well...the eye brows kinda like what you would do if youre really surprised!. Big smile, eyebrows lifted...youll probably feel silly...but dont worry about that...no one will see you. And, when youve got that sorted...think of as many things that genuinely make you smile or at least think of as many 'feel good things'- whatever that is for you. Sometimes for me, when I cant think of much...'cause I am having one of 'those' moments, I will just focus on my dog Bundy...and thats plenty. I do that for about 20mins now, but to start off with do it for as long as you can, but no longer than 20mins. 20mins is plenty to reprogram and rewire the pathways. Also, watch out because youll also come up against thoughts that wont make you smile at all...thoughts like...why did she say that???...what did they mean???...why are they so mean to me???...just smile through those thoughts! And, if crying comes up...allow yourself to go with those tears! Crying is a great release of stress and cortisol, the stress hormone. And, I find after a really good 'cry-release' - It makes my smile so much more meaningful! Thats it. Seriously. Its not meant to be rocket-surgery! Simple and effective SmileMeditation. Takes about 4weeks to perfect! HaveFun!

white knight There isn't much use in "hoping"
  • replies: 7

A Facebook message said"I hope 2017 is a better year than 2016". The word "hope" in that phrase , to me is a hollow word. Its sort of like, the writer has no say in their own destiny...they are relying on luck. The good thing about a "been there done... View more

A Facebook message said"I hope 2017 is a better year than 2016". The word "hope" in that phrase , to me is a hollow word. Its sort of like, the writer has no say in their own destiny...they are relying on luck. The good thing about a "been there done that" life is that one immediately notices a bad attitude or in this case an attitude relying on luck rather that an attitude of progressive determination. That fact is, we shape our own future and yes there are unexpected tragedies and financial problems and the like that hinder our positivity. But overall, a positive attitude will see you have a better year next year through determination. List your new years resolutions. Eg I won't take abuse anymore I will set aside rest times I will listen to my friends problems Etc. Luck plays little part in our future. I believe we shape our own future with being decisive, taking action, researching things we don't know and building relationships. What do you think about this? Good luck! Tony WK

Lostflutterby Scrapbooking
  • replies: 3

Has anyone ever created a scrapbook/ journal to help with their journey. I have the means and opportunity but am unsure on how to start and was wondering if anyone had managed this?Likewise, what would you include in your scrapbook? Thanks.

Has anyone ever created a scrapbook/ journal to help with their journey. I have the means and opportunity but am unsure on how to start and was wondering if anyone had managed this?Likewise, what would you include in your scrapbook? Thanks.

SourceShield --->>>THANK YOU<<<---
  • replies: 16

Hello. I could feel myself slipping. This weekend...BB, helped me to stay a float. The posts that I have read, and those that I have commented on, have genuinely helped me to not do anything foolish. I'll be honest, it's actually taken me a few years... View more

Hello. I could feel myself slipping. This weekend...BB, helped me to stay a float. The posts that I have read, and those that I have commented on, have genuinely helped me to not do anything foolish. I'll be honest, it's actually taken me a few years to 'trust' BB - thats just me, hyper-vigilance can also sneak up on you in the online-world as well. Comes from never feeling safe as a kid. But, this weekend I have shed tears that have washed over me...and have cracked me open, to let more of the light in. I have shared from my soul...and I have felt genuine connection and care, from complete strangers. I'm not gonna over-analyse that, because I get that its always easier to hide behind, or more-so, hide in front-of, a computer screen and to write words, words, words, that are just that...words. BUT - I have laughed and smiled at the pure awesomeness of so many of the peeps that share on BB. I actually can't express fully how much I feel that BB has SAVED me this weekend. I know it sounds corny but there you have it...I am incredibly thankful. I carry myself as a very confident, assertive and intelligent man but sometimes I feel SO pathetic, stupid, worthless and useless that it floors me. Sometimes, I just dont cope. Lately, thats how I've been. The psychological conditioning and programming that I live with...has a lot to answer for. The autism, and major depressive episodes...break me down, and at the most inopportune of times. And, I crumble. BUT - not this weekend. I feel oddly at ease and peaceful. And, thats thanks to you guys...all of you. MuchMuchMuchLove&Gratitude. Kaitoa Wolfe