Am I a bad person?

[ScooterCat]

Earlier this year, I refused to eat my dad's stir-fry noodles because he made the same thing the night before. He got annoyed that I didn't want to eat his food and he started ignoring me and giving me the silent treatment. He eventually isolated himself from me and got my sisters to do the same. 

I know I should've voiced this out to my dad and told him that I didn't like how he made the same thing the night before. I shouldn't have just walked off and said nothing. Yet, it felt like I really was a bad person and my mistakes define who I am. It felt like I didn't deserve anything good in life and that I deserve to be punished for everything.

[quirkywords]

1. Scootercat I am sorry your father reacted in the  way he did . Yes he may have been disappointed  and you may have expressed yourself differently, You are not a bad person at all. You are sensitive. Can you write a note to your dad. You are not your mistakes. No one deserves to be punished for  everything.

I can see you feel confused but you may learn from what happened and hopefully you can communicate with your dad as to how you feel. 

[Croix]

Dear Scootercat~

I'd have to agree wiht Quirkywords, you are not a bad person, and no you do not always fail and no you do not deserve to be punished for everything. Most importantly mistakes do not define who you are -everybody wihtout exception makes them , htey are things you can say to yourself "that did not work, how else can I do things?", in other words learn from them, and if htey have hurt someone make it up to them.

OK?

I learn as I live, and one thing I've tried to master is how to say no gracefully and not cause the other person to feel angry of hurt. It's not something that comes by instinct, is nothing to do wiht if you are good or not, but takes practice.

Just walking away does not sound like the best tactic, it may have left him disappointed he had done his best and you did not apprecaite that. Perhaps it might have been better if you had taken a different track. Was there a reason your dad made noodles 2 times in a row? Was he tired, not a good cook, or was noodles all he had in the  cupboard?

I've no idea of your circumstances but another way might have been to offer to make or help him make something different the following night.

I like Quirky's idea of trying ot make peace wiht oyur dad, and a note may indeed be hte  way to go. If you can show you love and appreciate him that can go a long way

Croix

[ScooterCat]

Hey quirkywords and Croix

Thanks so much for your responses. You’re right Croix -  I should’ve asked why he made the same dish twice in a row. I should’ve been more direct and told him I didn’t like how the noodles were made again. Simply walking away only leads to confusion and leaves the other person wondering why I walked away.

I’ll definitely take on Quirky’s advice to write a note telling him how I felt and make peace with him.

ScooterCat

[Croix]

Dear ScooterCat~

That sounds pretty good, if you would like to let us know how you get on that would be fine

Croix

[quirkywords]

ScooterCat

i like that you have a plan for the future and yiu have thought about reframing your words.