Alone in a crowd

[white knight]

Hi, an old neighbour once said to me after I told her I felt disconnected from people- "well Tony, we are born alone and we die alone".

Pretty solemn stuff. Of course some would argue parents mean we aren't alone but that's missing the point. Some of us can be in a crowd of what they call "like minded people" and still feel alone... why?

The answer has plagued me a lot over the years. I have my theories. Humans are the highest intelligence on our planet and that means we are more in tune with the realities of death and survival. We therefore are more in tune with being alone and that feeling we are not accompanied by others. Unlike a lot of animals we look different to each other and we dont form "packs" as often. Modern man doesnt form pack that is, unlike the Indigenous of all continents did, the reason being that we have less need. If you have money you have all the fruits of human labour like food and shelter. We no longer need someone to help us hunt for bark for a roof nor strength to carry a moose back to camp.

Same with queues at a concert- we all have tickets, we dont need the guy next to us for small talk nor his strength... but there is also what I see as automatic segregation. A.S can occur with differences in - age, appearance, religious clothing, over hearing talk amongst others and so forth. There's also perceived differences. People can "guess" they are not suited to engage in a conversation with another based on prejudgements. As a past security guard I've always had short hair and often am asked if I am or was a police member. Maybe that has caused young people to avoid me?

I only ever had one best friend. We went to year 10 together then a gap while I was in the Air Force then we hooked up again and we shared nearly all feelings and experiences. Unfortunately he married and the addition of his wife in the mix kind of set me loose from his moorings. I never felt "alone" when we were close. Maybe that is what is missing in a crowd? A real close friend.

Alas, I have my wife, I dont feel alone with her true. Even in strong marriages you can yearn for that close friend, maybe I'm thinking - mate? 

Do you feel "alone" in life? Amongst family? Is that feeling natural do you think? Are all those people in groups at a nightclub also feeling "alone" as they all clamber to get a word in? Doesnt look like it.

What is your views on loneliness?

TonyWK

So, there is a lot of reasons to feel lonely in a crowd. 

[white knight]

Hi ER

Tassy is a special place. My relatives live at the base of the beautiful Mt Roland Sheffield.  I'd milk cows and cart hay as a teenager on holidays.

As you saw, wildlife is in abundance in Cradle Mountain and surrounds. 

Interesting dynamics of your family, their arguments and selectivity with how they treated each other. Your quietness, maybe due to those dynamics, survival, minimalising trauma, was more guaranteed that way. 

I've hot a few wombats with cars, all just waddled away. Tough guys.

WALLY WOMBAT

Off to school he went
To learn a thing for the best
This one year old Wally Wombat
That was slower than the rest

He had to learn to fossick
To eat roots and sleep by day
To browse in the early hours
And look cuddly the wombat way

But one thing he couldn’t master
Was to time the event just right
To walk into the path of a motor car
In the middle of the night

Most of his friends succeeded
As their paws pointed to the sky
But try as he did his whole life
Wally failed to get squashed and die

Now an elder wombat
If you see him by the road at night
He’s the one with all his wits
-because he couldn’t time it right….

TonyWK 

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Tony,

Mt Roland has such a beautiful presence.  I’ve only been to Sheffield briefly but would love to explore that area more.

Wombats are certainly very solid creatures. I love your Wally Wombat poem! It made me laugh out loud. On a visit to a Tassie wildlife park I went to there was a Japanese film crew borrowing a large resident female wombat for a movie they were making. Under the supervision of the park staff, it involved a woman dressed as a school girl running away and screaming as she was pursued by the wombat. For the wombat it seemed to be an entertaining game. Goodness knows what the film was about but the film crew obviously were allowed to hire the wombat. It is one of a number of humorous and peculiar experiences I remember from Tassie. I also got to hold a baby wombat a couple of times - cuteness overload 🥰

Should I visit Tassie again, and I hope to, I will think of Wally the Wombat.

[white knight]

I wouldn't be surprised the Japanese film crew were portraying the wombat as a girl hunting creature. Their movies are weird but unique.

My grandparents owned a near mansion with 12ft ceilings and 8ft wide hallways outside Sheffield a dairy farm. One morning I woke to see a huge spider on the ceiling above me. It was the size of my hand now! I moved and it fell just missed me. My Nana armed with a broom got it outside. They are triantula spiders, not poisonous and they catch flies.

THE BLACK WIDOW

The male black widow spider
Tried all his life
He tried to tickle the hairy legs
Of his larger black widow wife

Suddenly he had a win
Something at last to gloat
She began to laugh aloud
As his leg slid down her throat

Poor male black widow
Was always to get into strife
All because he couldn’t understand his larger black widow wife…
TonyWK

As a boy I'd play in the barn with a view of Mt Roland and on the left side of the mountain was my uncles farm on a small hill. 

TonyWK 

[Eagle Ray]

Your time on your grandparent’s dairy farm sound like some good memories Tony, even the spider - in retrospect! It would have been lovely seeing Mount Roland. It seems like a friendly mountain, if that makes sense. I’ve seen beautiful photos of it with snow and also reflected in water. Tasmania is a landscape photographer’s dream.

 I loved your Black Widow poem. I remember aged 5 waking up to see a Huntsman Spider just cm from my face on the wall. It was the first time I’d seen such a big, hairy spider and I definitely got a fright.

 I’m glad you have those memories of being on the farm, playing in the barn and the view to Mt Roland and your uncle’s farm. My uncle had a farm too and we’d visit it about once a year. It was one of the things that made me feel like I’d rather live in the country than the city, which I’ve sort of now achieved by moving to a country town. If I walk 10 minutes west of my home I’m next to cows and horses in paddocks and I hear the cows from here.