After quiting medication"X"

[JCPIK]

Hi, I have a few questions about quiting anti-depressant. Maybe we can share some good and bad experience here.  

I was on medication"X" for 4.5 years. I worked effectively on me and helped me go through the hard time. I stopped taking it ONE MONTH ago, and successfully went through all the headache, "black outs" in my brain, dizziness, sickness etc. I am feeling physically well, but this few days, I start to feel anxious (the cold weather worsen my muscle tension) and depressed for no significant reason.

I drank wine occasionally to relax. Last night I had a little more than usual, then today, I felt very depressed all day. An hour ago, I was too upset to talk. I cried when I tried to talk. And there was no reason...

Has any of you had same experience like mine? Does anxiety and depression just bounce back temporarily after quiting medication? Is it totally normal?

I will try to find the answer from any sources available. And I will keep everyone updated if I hear anything from professionals.

Jess 

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Jess,

What was the reason you "had a little more [wine] than usual ?"

There are many triggers.     I'm surprised the sources you checked didn't mention relapse as it's a big deal.    Even with family members dying there seems to be always a situation or moment when all those memories come flooding back.

There are some that believe there is "no significant reason" for anxiety and depression to "bounce back".    Recent research at Stanford University, however,  has proved that our cybernetic, i.e. whole persona, is so hard wired that when we deviate to one area or another our system actually corrects this and finds our inner being again.   This is based on the same cybernetics that was developed for the Cold War to make off track missiles revert to the same true path. Just took researchers 40 years to study it as a human condition.

For example,   a millionaire who loses everything quickly becomes a millionaire again.   Because his inner core belief system is designed that way.  With depression/anxiety I'm sure it's the same thing.  Any chance to revert to that state of mind or perception (that you say was treated with medicaiton for 4.5 yrs) will be seized on.

The subconsious playing tricks on us or too much wine ?

Adios, David.

PS  Or maybe a trigger is when there is no trigger.  It's endless.

[geoff]

dear Jess, depression doesn't need a reason to either hit you or to come back, that is a relapse.

As David Charles has said 'had a little more wine than usual', maybe there was a niggling that you were beginning to feel uneasy, and that's well and truly an indicator.

You have gone through the blender, so to speak, in the way you may have gone cold turkey.

This feeling of being OK maybe psychosomatic because we can talk ourselves into believing that we will be alright, but after awhile we fall back into the hole, simply because our self talk has run it's race.

Having relapses is a concern on whether you want to ride them out, but then you don't know how long this will be, or whether it will be worse than your previous depression, or whether you want to have to go through it again and again.

Personally I don't believe that you should have stopped taking them, because your feeling of being better was due to the medication, and it's a false feeling that you will be OK with not taking them. Geoff.

[Amanda_A]

Hi Jess

I too had a relapse of my depression after coming off my anti-depressants a few years ago. It can certainly come back once you stop taking the medication. Alcohol can also increase a depressive mood, so I always try to only drink in moderation. Definitely go and see your GP for a chat about how you are feeling.

[TontoKiwi]

There are numerous reasons why people slip into depression and anxiety and therefore numerous reasons why they relapse. In my case I have pretty much always had depression since I was in my early adolescence but wasn't untill I was in my early 20s I got medicated for it. 

So, for myself to come off medication I would have to replace it with something as it is helping my body with what it is lacking. To come off them with no other strategies to aid in my condition will inevitably lead me back to where I was. 

Now if I was medicated after a traumatic event of some kind where I was fine before hand I would need to deal with whatever that trauma was either through counselling, help groups, places like this untill I felt the medication was no longer required. 

I think it is quite common for people to believe that their depression/anxiety 'heals' but it is a complicated mix of bio-chemistry, physical,genetic and psychological factors at the cause of it which means one needs to address them in order to deal with it. 

To me my depression is oddly like an old friend, ever dependable and always there for me, in understanding why and when I get depressed can I successfully manage it.

[missapril]

 I came off my medication a little over two months ago and I ahve relapsed twice now. I am now in the middle of number two and I am crying 85% of the days away. I pull it together only just to walk my daughter in the school gates and then once in the car the tears fall again, I have been like this on and off for three weeks now and I feel guilty for what i am putting my husband and our two children through. I am in a new town with new doctors and with little support in this rural area. I wish I was back in Sydney with more support. I thought that I was well enough to come off my medication and did it slowly as per doctors recommendation, I exercise 3-4 times per week and eat really well. I wish there was an emergency place I could go while I go through this phase so as not to be so disruptive to my family, the guilt of that is overwhelming.  We are going on a family cruise with other family members in 10days and I cant see how I am going to be able to pull myself together enough.

I have given up alcohol as I know that it is only a contributor to not liking myself much and wanting to leave all responsibility behind. Its not the easiest thing to give up but the benefits outway the drink.

I cant wait to go back on medication so i can enjoy my family again.

[sadgirlhappy]

I just came off an antidepressant 2 weeks ago. I was only on the stuff for 3 months. It took 6 weeks to start "working" and I couldn't take it anymore and stopped cold turkey as I felt it was ruining my life. I felt suicidal, manic and nauseous on and off but most of the time. I went numb, I couldn't "love" any more. And I couldn't express my love for my partner physically either as I've had no libido at all. I've also gotten fat because I guess depression  itself plus coming off it and feeling even more mental has made me incapable of doing anything other than drag my sorry ass to work, fake my way through my job, then haul myself home to my couch and/or bed nearly unconscious with emotional and mental fog.

After being told to experience the common side effects for only 2 weeks, 6 weeks in I was still having them and wondering if I should stop taking it. I went to my GP again and she said, give it a bit longer. So I did. In the meantime, my boss threatened to sack me, and said I didn't deserve my salary because he believed I was under-performing (this was not like me, but he is an asshole anyway and it didn't occur to him there may have been a reason for this, but anywho...). 

I had every single side effect listed in the common side effects list PLUS a few of the uncommon, severe side effects. Finally I went back to the GP again and she prescribed me a different antidepressant instead. But by this time I'd completely lost faith in medicine and just thought F*** it. I'll go 100% au naturale. I've stopped cold turkey and experienced every single withdrawal symptom in the book of course! Nausea, ground shaking dizzy spells (brain shocks I think they're called), feeling like I'm on a boat in a storm at sea, confusion and feeling like I should hold out my arm in case I fall over. And the rest... night sweats, the most severe suicide thoughts I've ever had. It's like they came from a voice in the ether. "Just end this, end this, end this." Rage, uncontrollable sobbing for hours. You name it. The other weird one is that I've noticed sugary foods bring on the brain shocks and dizziness quite badly. I could feel fine, then have a bag of sweets or some biscuits and then the brain starts zapping.

Anyway, after all this - I've realised it's literally "up to me" to fix this. No GP, no medication, no friend or family member can do jack for me. I don't know if this will work, but I'm going to see a traditional chinese doctor for acupuncture treatment (and whatever else he's got to offer!) on Saturday; and I'm starting yoga (haven't managed to get there yet as the feelings make me scurry home and crawl back under the rock I came out of again); and I want to change my diet so that I'm super super healthy and sugar free and free of any other types of food that clog me up and cloud my mental state.

With this ramble comes a glimmer of hope - the withdrawals are slowly starting to subside and for the first time in months I've felt.... okay. Maybe even "good". I'm a bit suspicious of it, but I like it. I'm going to give this natural therapy a go and see if it can support my recovery. This is an ongoing strategy though not a quick fix - I believe medicine like antidepressants are okay for a time, but we gotta find supportive strategies for coping, managing and hopefully thriving... 

You're not alone xx