Accepting change/ how to adapt to changes

[stuckinthamud]

I lately find myself viewing my life as phases. When I look back it’s almost like I’m viewing a camera that contains folders with each folder containing a selection of memories or pictures from every “phase” my person and social life is almost the complete opposite of what it was 3-5 years ago. There are major factors playing there role into the reasons why and I’m more then aware of them. My question or my main topic of this discussion is one how do you deal with changes that are out of your control or changes that have happened to you personally or someone you love and what are some heathy coping mechanisms to “accept that it happened and move on “ my biggest problem I find with my negative or unwanted thoughts tend to be one’s of dwelling on the past I don’t want to forget these memories but I have an unhealthy attachment to them so I can move on and focus on my future and my present self 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I have a friend that is constantly in the past, posting old pics of her and friends, one my deceased MIL. It pulls people down sometimes.

Then again I assaulted a colleague while in the AirForce in 1976, yes, 48 years ago and when facebook came along messaged him to apologise for the 10th time. He blocked me!. So where does this dwelling and attachment come from? Well I'm no expert but I'd assume we dont have full control of our minds for various reasons. Having said that, we dont have to have full control to divert our mind, like using a rudder on a ship. It takes practice and there are several ways to do this. It's all described in the following first post of this thread.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

Also relaxation can be very effective because that allows your brain to rest therefore restoring ability to gain more control.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/relaxation-exercises

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/meditation-words-of-wisdom-it-helped-me-for-25-year...

Of course focussing on the present and the near future is the ideal but if we are fixated on the past, often our trauma we wont get much support because most people find that draining. 

I hope that helps. Personally I've found hobbies and sports to be my safe zone. Passions are different as they are born interests really. 

TonyWK

[tranzcrybe]

Are we essentially just one person experiencing change, or a changing person through gaining experience?