What Should I Do Now?

[HappyGirlTea]

Hi again,

I don’t know if anyone will remember but I posted for the first time a few months ago. Since then I have finished my Year 12 exams and my results came out last Friday. I mentioned somewhere in the last thread that after I was finished all of that I hoped to find some support regarding my sexuality in real life. I emailed a support group in my area a few weeks ago but unfortunately it no longer runs. I was told this through an email sent to me by someone who runs another group in my area. However it is a theatre group which isn’t my sort of thing. The email did say I could just work backstage or watch but I’m not sure. I already feel so uncomfortable and don’t know if I would feel comfortable with that either. I don’t even know if I will be able to get to a group without my parents knowing. Or if I will feel comfortable enough to go there. Other than a support group I don’t really know how to find support in real life so I’m a bit stuck. I know when I go to University next year I will hopefully have a way to meet people there but that terrifies me and I don’t think it will be that easy anyway. I also don’t want to have to wait that long to find people as University starts in March. I just don’t know why it has to be so hard for me to feel okay with myself. I don’t want to have to wait to eventually feel okay. Hopefully someone can tell me what to do.

Thanks.

[Birdy77]

Dear HappyGirlTea,

I remember you 😊

This might not be much help, but my first reaction is : try to relax.

I know March feels like a long way off, but seriously, it will fly by.

There's the Christmas/end of year fiasco (as I "lovingly" call it) ... then there's orientation-week at uni, and getting all your subjects and your books sorted ... it would be good to fit some down time in there somewhere.

I understand where you're at, I've been there too ... you just want some people around you who "get it".

What if you give the backstage thing a try? It might not be your thing, but you also might meet some nice people.

Also, people there might be able to point you in a better direction, group-wise.

I've forgotten if you're in a metro area, and I haven't checked back on your other thread, but for instance if you're in Sydney, there's LOTL (Lesbians On The Loose) free magazine (also online I think) that has lots of events and activity groups advertised (just an example).

My feeling is to try to relax, but I know that can be hard when you want to get out there.

I'm always happy to talk more with you HappyGirlTea.

Take care of you.

🌻birdy

[Birdy77]

Hi it's just me again,

I forgot to say ... when you're trying new things, it's usually going to be necessary to try them before you're completely comfortable.

All of this is going to feel new and weird and there's going to be awkwardness and discomfort.

Sometimes to grow and bloom into our new realms of awesomeness we have to put up with some discomfort and just take the plunge ... otherwise we can remain forever "stuck", which is how you describe feeling now.

Sometimes it's ok to take that leap of faith, and to know that even if it doesn't turn out perfectly, it can still be at least a step forward into growth.

🌻birdy

[HappyGirlTea]

Thank you for replying. I think maybe I will send an email back to the theatre group and see what happens. I know that you’re completely right in that I have to just do something and eventually it will feel comfortable. I have hope that next year things will really start to change and sort themselves out. Hopefully the time does fly by quickly.

Thanks again.

[Only_I_know]

Hey HappyGirlTea

if you want someone to talk to that "gets it" then google Q-life. They are a peer based support group and they are only to happy to chat about anything.

As far as getting out and meeting people, if you google "Team (and the city you live in if metro)" e.g. Team Melbourne - then there are heaps of LGBT social groups like walking/running, tennis, swimming, badminton and so on. There may be something there that interests you. They are safe places filled with nice friendly people.

As Birdy says (and Birdy is awesome!) try the things that you aren't so comfortable with - you'll surprise yourself! it will help you gain confidence in so many wonderful ways. Give it a go a couple of times so then you'll see that you get more comfortable with what you are doing, and you may end up enjoying it. If not, then you are not committed to continue, but you may find that you've made some new friends in the process.

Anyway, just relax, take deep breaths and not stress out. Enjoy the festive season, you have the whole world waiting for you to be you!

take care!

Darren