Unsure

[nimblebby]

So I'm 16 years old and really confused about my sexuality. I've never spoken about it before or said anything out loud about it because no one would expect this from me and that's whats scary. I'm not going to lie, i hope it is a phase so it'll just make everything easier but the thoughts have gone on for sometime now and i don't know what to do about it. I know that it's a stage that a lot of teenagers go through, but I'm not sure how long these phases are meant to go on for. I don't want to think about this but i can't help it as it's always in my mind. I've had boyfriends before, a lot of them, but I've never really been connected to any of them as it relationships should be. Maybe i haven't found the right guy yet, but theres also that possibility that well, I'm not totally straight.

This is my first time ever really typing or saying this sort of thing and it's really hard. I've always been one of those girls that a lot of my guys at school are attracted to. I get along with guys and i hang out with many of them but i've never felt the same way or a deep connection with any of them. Is this normal? I don't know what to do and how to feel and i couldn't bottle it up for any longer so i needed to let it out.

[white knight]

Hi nimblebby, welcome here

How brave are you? wow. most impressive that you posted here.

I recall a famous Australian singer talking about her love relationships once. A guy then a girl then a guy. Some journo asked her why she behaved that way. She answered a great way "I feel that my sexual relationships are a fluid thing, my boundaries are for me to develop as I see fit and its none of your business".

She was right. Your thoughts, whether mixed up or whatever are ok what ever they are. Society, family and friends have expectations and you are not in this world to live up to those. You are in this world to enjoy giving and recieving love how you want to, how you feel at comfort with.

You might very well havent met the "right guy" but you might also be bisexual. If so relax. Enjoy the journey. As you develop towards what you end up being you might tackle hurdles like exposing things to family and friends. But remember, you are who you are and have nothing to be ashamed of.

I just reckon you need to relax, take your time, examine your feelings and let it flow without shame or sorrow. Just like that singer did. Remember, regardless of others outspoken views - keep loving them as best you can. Some people dont see wrong in their criticism. Give them a fair go for quite some time....then if they wont accept you for whatever you are and whoever you be......let them loose.

You'll be fine. Thankyou for your story. Post when ever you need to.

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Nimblebby, hello and welcome to the BB forum, but can I say that at 16 you are such a brave girl and I want to compliment you and that's what counts.

You are in the process of your body changing into maturity and experiencing a great deal happening to you, but you are concerned about your sexuality, well that shouldn't be any problem at all, because you are fully entitled to like girls as well as boys.

Please don't take any blame for being either or both, because our society accepts either way, but you maybe worried about what your parents would think or perhaps other family members, but can I ask you how many married couples you know of are totally happy.

If guys want to see you or 'hang-out' with, it's totally your decision, and if you don't feel inclined just tell them that you are seeing someone else.

Until you date either you want be able to make a decision, it maybe both, you maybe bisexual but favouring male or female, so what, no one can ever stop you from feeling this way, so just relax and take it easy, and I know that it will be on your mind every time you see someone you like, then let it be that way.

Please don't try and confuse your mind, it will decide as you mature,so do what you  like.

Hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

[Chris_B]

Hi nimblebby, welcome to the forums. 

You might want to look at the thread below, it's from a 16yo member experiencing similar feelings.

Realised I'm bisexual by Tk98

Also, have you heard of an organisation called Minus18? They provide peer support for same-sex attracted young people all over Australia. They also have an online forum where you'll be able to speak to other young people experiencing the same feelings - it's a bit busier than our sexuality forum.