People assuming I like them even when I don't

[Earth Girl]

I think I might be bisexual because I like guys and am curious about girls, but a lot of people assume I'm a lesbian and some girls just assume that I like them when it's very often not the case.

I'm shy and socially awkward so it's easy for people to make rumors about me (such as saying I'm a lesbian). Someone even said that I have an "off manliness" about me. 😞 I don't know what it is that I do that makes people think that because some people say I'm really gentle and that's not seen as a "manly" trait.

When I was in year 7, there was a girl there who seemed to think I was gay and that I liked her and I don't know why. I sat next to her once because she was sitting next to the spot where I usually sat. I had literally NO attraction to her though.

I went to this program place for people with mild disabilities and this girl there seemed like she felt uncomfortable around me and so did her sister who sometimes came and they would talk about me. I wasn't even attracted to them at all though, they really were NOT my type. There was another girl there who I wasn't attracted to either, but if I were to be attracted to someone there, it would have been her and she seemed to be fine with me.

Sometimes when I do find a girl kind of attractive/make me a bit confused, they seem to be able to tell and other times they can't. But even when they can tell, they seem to think I'm more attracted to them than I really am and they sometimes seem uncomfortable. I feel kind of bad about this. 

And sometimes when I come out as bisexual to someone, they start acting uncomfortable around me, even if I'm not attracted to them at all.

I don't know what to do about all this. Also, do I seem "masculine/manly" to you? I don't know what exactly it is that makes people think that. 😞 Why do some girls assume I like them even when I have no attraction to them at all?

Most days I dress quite girly and my voice usually sounds soft and high.

[tmas]

You don't have to be feeling the same things as I am, or maybe not in the same vocabulary.

When I say fetishised, I mean people who take a particular/uncomfortable amount of interest in my bisexuality or sexuality in general (personally, this tends to be people assuming I'm hyper sexual, especially straight women who will hit on me or repeatedly touch me suggestively then immediately say "but I'd never do that, it's gross/I'm straight"). It's really a feeling that people are interacting with the idea of my sexuality and their own assumptions, without regard to me as a person, or my boundaries. 

Misogyny is defined as a contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. For example, in queer theory, homophobia against gay men could historically be seen as a contempt for "feminine qualities embodied by men" (I'm sure you realise this is absurd, gay men are not by default "feminine" because they are attracted to other men, but historically it was seen as self-debasing to act feminine as a man). I had an interesting conversation with two trans people, one a woman and one a man, and they personally noted that trans women (or non-conforming AMAB people) cop a disproportionate amount of abuse, and this is an extension of misogyny. 

I've also been accused of misogyny, by people who were just throwing big words around in the hopes of hurting me while still playing the victim. 

It sounds like you're surrounded by quite mean and insecure people right now, do you have people who are kind or supportive? Those people are worth far more energy than the people who would call you a misogynist behind your back. If they're rude to you and then they make themselves out as the one being hurt when you highlight how they hurt you, they clearly aren't treating you well enough to continue interacting with. Time to demote these people to a level of acquaintance where their remarks are no longer personal.

[Earth Girl]

I'm sorry people do that to you. It's very inappropriate for them to touch you and things like that.

People I know act like I'm gross because of my sexuality and act like it's wrong and make jokes about it. They also get mad when they THINK that I like them.

I agree that you shouldn't just assume if someone is feminine or masculine based on their sexuality - people do this to me. They see me as masculine because they think I'm a lesbian and they call me a man.

I don't think I'm misogynistic because I don't think woman are inferior. In fact, I use to act like us women were better than men and I think this is because my Dad use to bully me a lot and since I'm shy, I didn't really know any other men very well because I only have sisters and no brothers. (I now see men as equal to us now though).

I actually think the woman who was working in the shop might have been a bit misogynistic herself because she bullies me about my sexuality and acts like I'm a man practically.

I'm not friends with any of these mean people, I just recognize them from school and they're still bullying me even though we are in our late 20's now. I don't associate with any of them. I have trouble making friends, but I'm going to keep trying to make some really nice ones.