OUTCASTS

[Grazee]

I've had a long life and I'd say . . . only a few regrets. One thing that does upset me is that for a large part of my life I've been an outcast. Early on Society wanted to punish and transform me but as the years have progressed I guess being gay got a little easier; but I'm still an outcast. As I watch TV I'm confronted with a hetro world that is continually in my face. I get angry when I'm forced to view straight love scenes and sex encounters. I have feelings of love and desire that are wholesome and natural but the straight media simply ignores my needs. I find it further insulting that straight society portrays lesbian encounters and I'm led to believe, get turned on by them. Weird?

But create a scene where two men kiss each other, this is deemed unacceptable.

I believe that the Libs, if they win the election, will conduct a plebiscite on gay marriage. That's ridiculous! If two people of either sex want to make a commitment to each other, they don't need anyone's approval.

My journey is coming to an end and I sincerely hope that younger generations will rebel at being outcasts. We gays are wonderful, caring intelligent and resourceful people who very rarely indulge in violence. We should be welcomed unconditionally into all aspects of life in this wonderful world.

[white knight]

Hi grazed, welcome

BTW I'm heterosexual, married two grown kids.

I love you guys. So by generalising it isn't accurate. Hetros turned on by lesbian encounters? Not me!!

Forced to view hetros "continually in my face" that's because hetros are the majority...nothing more.

Take politics. We constantly see on the news libs and labour but how much of the minor parties? The major parties have the majority vote.

I really think you have a inaccurate perspective of things. Best approach is to spread your love to others and not allow TV shows to get to you. As for the media when have they reflected society accurately?

We have champion volunteers here that are gay. They are a valuable part if our forums. Just because they are gay is irrelevant.

Yes society has a way to go but large cogs move slowly.

Tony WK

[Kazzl]

Hi Grazee, it's very good to meet you. I have read your other thread and want to say I admire you so much for living life on your own terms. You and your generation paved the way for others to do the same, and you endured outrageous discrimination, violence and humiliation in the process. And for that I say both I'm sorry and thank you.

Like you, I can't for the life of me understand why we need a plebiscite on marriage equality. To me it's a matter of human rights. I didn't need anyone's permission to marry and I can't see why anyone else should! Nor do I see why I have the right to say whether anyone else can marry. And the fact that there will still be the option of a conscience vote in Parliament after an almost certain pro vote infuriates me. But I better not start on politics or I'll go off my trolley (and I'm a public servant who shouldn't express opinions).

You are not an outcast here Grazee, you are a most welcome and appreciated member. I think quite a few of us would like to just sit and listen to you.

With much respect

Kaz

[Gruffudd]

Hi there Grazee,

Thankyou for telling us about your experience, you certainly have my respect as someone who is younger for being part of the generation who helped make things start to become better for all of us. I know that without the care and mentoring of a very special Lesbian couple, I would have not survived, they intervened when I tried to kill myself, they helped me negotiate university, and they celebrated my relationships and achievements. Most importantly, they helped me understand LGBTI history and to be part of the community.

I had an immediate reaction to Tony's response above. For me as a rainbow champion being gay is not irrelevant it is absolutely central to both who I am and why I am here. If people don't like it, quite frankly they don't like me. Likewise I reacted to how he said that you have a inaccurate perspective of things, I feel like that comes from a place of complete ignorance of the experience you are talking about. I absolutely relate to turning on the television or going to a movie and feeling completely invisible. If there is a gay character it always gets a higher rating like M or R. Usually the LGBTI characters have to be killed off or bad or sad, never just average or like me.

Grazee, I would be honoured to stand with you. LGBTI lives matter. Your life matters, and mine too. I very much welcome your presence here, to me you are a sister and your presence be it reading and the occasions when you post your words you help me feel that little bit more welcome in this world.

Rob.

[white knight]

Rob,

I mean well. My comments meant I fully accept gay and lesbian people as equal to heterosexual.

Perhaps that isn't enough.

Tony WK

[Paul]

Hi Graham,

I can relate exactly to your thoughts in what you've written. In 1999 I had a friend who was a radio/TV NEWS reader and loved media. He dreamt of the day where there would be shows hosted by gay people talking about issues that affect our community. In 1999 there just wasn't anything out there.

Today there are shows that discuss gay and lesbian issues openly - admittedly not enough or freely enough, but we are starting to have a voice.

This forward movement is because of people like yourself beating the way forward for the next generation and people like Rob and I beating the way forward for the next, and here we are.

Turnbull and his plebiscite and my $10.85 that will contribute from my taxes is a null exercise as Kazzl mentioned. It's a step backwards BUT, we've taken many steps forward to get here and we're not giving up.

The hard work, sacrifice and sometimes despair that has been put in through the years is never wasted and in this case it's possibly a step backwards, but we've made some leaps forward. We've got a way to go, especially for our trans community.

I understand how we are bathed in a straight world and how upsetting it can be. It is changing. It's changing for the better and it's because of pioneers such as yourself - Thank You Graham. Thank you for making it easier for us to carry the flame and continue to take those steps forward respectfully and in solidarity.

Paul xx

[Grazee]

Hi Tony . . . Your comments are naturally viewed from a heterosexual aspect. Try thinking how you might feel if your were gay, where the straight world around you just doesn't like you and would prefer to ignore your existence.

One of the fundamentals of democracy is that the majority should protect the rights of minorities. I believe the hetro world has failed miserably in this duty. One of the saddest examples of this is with a man called Allan Turing.In world war two he helped design the original computer and in breaking the German enigma code was responsible for savings thousands of lives.After the war he was caught soliciting a young man, was sentenced to be castrated and eventually committed suicide . . . a broken hero.

Sure we've moved on . . . .but to me neither fast nor far enough.

[Kazzl]

Hi Grazee - not fast enough nor far enough for me either!

One thing I would like to add, from a hetero perspective is that it is sometimes difficult to express support in the right way, to know what to say or how to be. Some of us find it mind boggling that in our modern world there is even a need to offer support because in our heads there shouldn't be!

We are all just people - something I say often. But I am learning that that is a simplistic view - saying we are all people isn't enough, because it casually overlooks the discrimination, and while intending to be supportive can actually be dismissive. But we try nonetheless because we care, we believe in equality and we hate discrimination. But we only have inadequate words to express ourselves. (Which my brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful daughter corrects when I get it wrong! Haha)

Not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I'm looking for a little patience and understanding for the straight supporters, who are right by your side, even if we're off-kilter with our words and ideas a bit sometimes.

Love to all

Kaz

[Grazee]

Hi Rob . . . its great to be able to talk with younger gays. Please don't give up the struggle; even if the hetro world is grudgingly becoming aware of our existence they will always need a kick up the bum by us.

I've often dreamed of forming a LGBT political party to advance our cause. There has to be about TWO million gays in Australia; imagine the impact this would have on mainstream political parties. Imagine the impact on the larger Gay world. I don't advance this lightly; I really believe we have to garner some political muscle to demand change.

I hope you're happy; happiness isn't conditional . . . its an inalienable right.

[Gruffudd]

Grazee, I agree a voice is needed, I don't see why we would not be having a seat at the tables of all the existing parties as well as our own. Some do better than others with Women and Aboriginal people. Same for LGBTI people. Penny Wong is a hero of mine, she has the determination and the substance to achieve much. Bob Brown did his bit for our community, and don't forget Don Dunstan. We have some people out there who are not LGBTIQ but are fighting for a more equal, more just world. Daniel Andrews not only made an apology for what the state had done he is actively participating in the community for continued change, I honestly didn't expect that to happen.

Happiness is a challenge, there is a strong history of depression in my family, which makes getting the environment and my approach to life all the more important. Nothing makes a difference though quite like being around other LGBTIQ people from all ages and backgrounds, and not having to hold back or justify myself.