No place for me

[Guest_2350]

Hi,

I’m struggling. I find it so hard to fit in and find support. It doesn’t help that I live remote. I’m just really really sad. 

[Willow Jude]

Hi Guest_2350,

Thats sounds really tough! You deserve to receive support, and I'm sorry to hear that you aren't able to access that at the moment. 

Reaching out on the forums is a great step, and I hope you're able to find the support you need here and through other avenues. 

Is there anything that you've found has helped you so far?

[Guest_2350]

Hi Willow Jude.

Thank you for your reply. I follow my strategies to help with my mental health but I’m struggling when it comes to gender, as the here and now is actually quite sad and I don’t see that changing in the future. Too many negative events happening around the world and I’d lose who’s left in my family. 

[mmMekitty]

Hi Guest_2350

I'm sad to think how tough it is for people in rural areas to recieve support with any mental health issue &/or, well, it's more about how to manage friendships & familial relationships because these are made more difficult because of a lack of information, or outright prejudice. I know it can happen that when someone first learns of their friend's or family member's gender identity is not what they assumed, they take a while to adjust, to get used to what they see as a change in you. You haven't actually changed, except maybe you choose different clothes & accessories, may want to keep your hair differently, but inside, you are the person you have always been. Unfortunately, some people find it difficult to see beyond your exterior. But some will adjust & come to accept you for who you are, & may well realise you are indeed outwardly becoming more yourself.

It certainly could be risky 'coming out' to some people. Choosing who you can trust is important. How you talk to them is also important. Be gentle & take some quiet time with them to talk. I don't know how long you've been thinking about your gender, but for sure, it's longer than they have had.

There is an organisation called QLife.on 1800 184 527, & they also have web chat on their website. They also have more inforation there, too.

I wish you well.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[sbella02]

Guest_2350,

Thank you so much for reaching out here, you've come to the right place. I echo Willow and mmMekitty in my welcome to you. 

I can feel your pain through your words. It must be so tough having to go through these kinds of struggles alone and living remotely, as social support can be quite therapeutic. Do you have anybody you regularly keep in contact with online, any loved ones who you check in with/check in with you? Even a weekly phone call from somebody you love can be helpful. 

Are there any clubs or groups in your area that you may be able to join? Have you ever played any sports, or do you have any hobbies that you like doing in your spare time? These kinds of activities can help you connect with others in the community, which is another means of receiving social support.

I notice that you've mentioned in one of your replies how you're struggling with your gender identity. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I may be able to offer some advice or resources for you. What specifically is on your mind about your gender? Do you feel like you don't identify with your gender, or do you want to experiment with how you express yourself? Tell us what's on your mind, and we'll offer support as necessary.

I hope this helps a little, feel free to keep chatting with us if you'd like to. We're here for you.

Take care, SB

[Guest_2350]

Hi SB

Thank you for your message. It’s good to know there are others who understand. 

I'm not able to do physical activities at the moment, but hopefully will be later this year. I paint when I’m in the headspace for it. I have friends who check in with me by phone. But I carry my gender identity close to my heart as I cannot share this. It’s complicated to explain but the consequences would kill me. So I keep hiding my true self. 

It used to be easier when I was still working. I worked in a male dominated environment and was just part of the gang. Another hard one to explain. I lost my job years ago due to my mental health. 

I’ve tried connecting online. I can get paranoid online at times, especially on Facebook. Are there forums like this outside of Facebook? 

I’ve looked at groups in the next town, but it’s a 250km and I don’t drive. We don’t have public transport either.

I'm not having a good time with my mental health and this just makes it worse. I don’t know.

Have a nice day

[sbella02]

Guest_2350,

My apologies it's taken me a little while to get back to you.

I definitely understand keeping your identity close to your heart - you understand your circumstances better than anyone, and if you've decided that the consequences of sharing it would be worse than keeping it close, then this is the right decision for you at this time.

It sounds like turning to online forums and communities may suit you quite well. Here are my best suggestions:

I'd like to suggest places like Discord or Reddit, which can be strange to navigate at first, but they can be great for connecting with people who share their own experiences that are similar to yours. Internet friends can be fantastic, provided you're being safe and cautious and only share what you feel comfortable sharing. You can have a look around on either one and see what you find, they're not for everyone but they can be really helpful. Even YouTube and Tik Tok can be great if you're looking to hear stories from people who may be going through something similar. If you're seeking communities of people who have struggled with gender identity and dysphoria, Noah Finnce and AJ Clementine are two of my favourite trans YouTube content creators who openly discuss their experiences with this. 

Hopefully this helps and as always, let us know your thoughts.

SB