LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[Centaured]

Soooooo....Two Q's.
Are there different laws state to state on accessing hormones and do you have to go through the application all over again when you move states.
And I legally changed my name years ago but not on my birth certificate because I was based in another state than I was vorn and didn't know how, is it with it when I have all my other documentation already in my name. And are the law to change gender on birth certificate different among states?

[Guest_206]

Hi Centaured,
Good questions. I don't have the answers but I'm sure that if you contact a specialist community legal centre such as the Inner City Legal Centre which has a Specialist Trans and Gender Diverse Legal Service (in NSW that is) they could help you. Or point you in the right direction for a similar service if you live in another state?

[eight]

tayla mate you're like what, 21. yeah i'd think it'd be normal and okay for people who are around the age where they start thinking about sex and relationships to question their sexuality. and theres plenty of people older and younger who do it too no matter what stage you're at

C i could probably comb through some legal requirements but i probably wont have the energy to go through all states and territories - it's 100% okay if you'd rather keep private but i might work better if i know what states to research

[pin3c0ne]

Hi, my sexual orientation and gender identity are causing me insane anxiety right now. I just want to make my brain stop. I was always pretty lucky, I knew I was queer from a young age, so I came out to my friends pretty early (around 13/14) as bisexual, then VERY soon after a lesbian (I'm not out to my family). So I always felt really grateful that I had it figured out, I knew I wasn't attracted to men and I knew I was a woman. But coming out to friends early, also made what I'm going through more difficult, because now they all know me as a lesbian, and if something were to change I feel embarrassed even though I KNOW sexuality and stuff is fluid. And they're all lovely they wouldn't care. But I just feel stupid, you know? Like, I was the lesbian friend. I still could be. I just don't know what's going ON IN MY BRAIN. The last few months have been driving me insane. I don't know what is real anymore. I don't know which of my thoughts are compulsive heterosexuality, mental issues, denial, or genuine. Nothing. I'm so confused and I just want it all to stop. I've come to not like the label lesbian, in fact I don't really like any labels. If I had to use one it'd just be queer, that's pretty comfortable to me. But is that internalised homophobia? Am I still seeking male validation, so I don't want to be labelled as a lesbian? I just want to be, you know? Like, I just want to live life not worrying about labels, if I find someone, I find them - who cares about their gender? I've also never had a crush on anyone, so I've been researching aromanticism a bit, but I don't know. I recently met a friend, and I have... gender envy almost? But I'm not transgender, so I know that's the wrong term. But if someone said to me, do you want to be a boy? If so, who? I'd say yeah, this guy. And I can't tell if what I'm feeling is feelings, jealousy, comphet, or what. It's so confusing. It doesn't help that I've never had a crush on a woman, I just know I find them really attractive, so I also feel like I'm lying. As if I don't actually like women, since I have no past experience to back it up. It also made me feel so weird that I could imagine like, cuddling with the guy friend I mentioned earlier. I just want it to stop. I wish I never labelled myself because it's making me go crazy. I don't know if I like men, I can't tell if I want to be him or be with him. This is the only time I've ever felt like this, so it's so stupid that one guy can make me question all of this.

[Sophie_M]

Hey pin3c0ne,

Thank you for sharing some of your journey with us here today. It's not easy to open up like that, so we hope you can feel some pride in doing so. 

We'r sure we'll hear from our lovely community soon, but please know that while the peer support offered here is often quick, it isn't immediate. If you to talk it through with someone in the meantime please feel free to reach out to the mental health professionals at our support service for brief counselling, support and referrals. They're available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636. Our friends at QLife are amazing for talking through sexuality, gender identity and relationships. They are available from 3pm to midnight AEDT by phone on 1800 184 527 or webchat via https://qlife.org.au/ every day. 

Welcome to our valued online forums community. Please keep reaching out and letting us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it. If you ever want to start your own thread, you're most welcome. There's a bit of info on how to do so here.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[mmMekitty]

Hello, Pin3c0ne, & welcome to the forums.

I guess I felt social pressure to have at least one boyfriend when I was a young teenager. I never heard much about gender/sexuality way back then. (I am 62 now), never even gave it much thought myself - other things made me not want intimate relations then.

I have known people very sure & people who are not, & people whose preferences change more than once.

I tend to dislike labels. I could live with 'queer', or 'asexual', & being a 'person', grudgingly, 'woman' 'Ms', but I know I don't like 'male' indicators at all. If I get an option to 'rather not say' I will use it, or if the only option is 'other' I'll use that. My view is that most of the time it is irrelevant. If I am hoping to become intimate with someone, who therefore, needs to know, or, if, for medical reasons, doctors need to know, then I am happy to explain.

If your sexuality isn't a big deal amongst your friends, then, there's no need to make it a bigger issue by often referring to it.

At the age you are, it is common to feel insecure & have thoughts about all sorts of things I don't think your friends are any different. From what you say, you seem to have a pretty good bunch of friends..

Sophie_M has given you some good advice.

mmMekitty

[lil quirky]

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to introduce myself on this idk that sounds kinda stupid anyway, has anyone watched heartstopper (it’s on Netflix if u haven’t watched it and yes it’s a must watch) well I recently started figuring out my sexuality because of that show, it sounds quirky but I am quirky so yeah haha and a lil fruity, but it’s tough, I’m in high school doing VCE and doing exams and stuff including huge family problems, expectations, strictness, 3 little siblings (I’m the oldest)with single mum, career things (annoying), it’s all just getting a lot for me to handle at the moment so I’m not really focusing on figuring out my sexuality, I’m actually really bad at focusing on myself, I tend to focus on everyone else around me, I also probably need to get some help haha I was talking to someone but it was mostly about family issues and I didn’t really like that, it felt really overwhelming, so I stopped that and I should probably see someone at school or something but I’ve heard that they aren’t that good, and should probs ask my mum to see someone again but idk, they might tell her I’m part of the lgbtqia+ which I’m sure she would be supportive of but I’ve only told my friends, idk I’m just confused about everything and I’m and over-thinker and I think maybe a catastrophic thinker. Sorry there aren’t too many full stops in that but whatever lol. Pls don’t hesitate to reply I want someone to talk to and someone who hopefully relates to me also 🙂 but it doesn’t matter too much oops sorry rambling on again haha.

kind regards

-lil quirky

[mmMekitty]

Hello lil quirky, 😺

I thought I posted a reply here yesterday, but it's not here.

In short, I notice you have a lot going on. You feel a lot of anxiety & pressure, lots of other emotions too. I've wondered why so many people seem to be in such a hurry to figure things out, to answer so many questions, to wind up childhood & dive into adulthood.

If you can talk to your mum, see if she can help you, if you want to see a counsellor or therapist, & explain to her, that you feel so stressed & overwhelmed, & would really like to talk to someone about that.

No matter what sort of mental health worker you see, you can ask & be sure that if you do mention your sexuality, they will tell no-one. Whatever you & a mental health worker talk bout is between you & the worker. They have to respect your privacy. There a very few circumstances where they may have a valid reason to tell someone something you have said or done. From what you say, you don't have to be concerned about that.

If you can see a GP, they can explain what may be involved, about youroptions, & answer any questions you have. Can you see a GP without your mum? I don't know. If you can talk to your mum, & go with her, but ask her if you can talk to the GP alone, I think that is quite okay.

Really, I think if you can have some talks with your mum, & have her support, that would be better for your relationship with her

You don't have to tell her about your sexuality or any thoughts.or feelings you are having. Most people like to keep that private, especially while they are still figuring it out. Sometimes, it does help to talk to someone.

You can phone BB's own phone Counselling Service. Hmm, maybe they can answer some of the questions I can't. The phone number is 1300 22 46 36.

Or Kids Helpline on: 1800 55 1800

I see you've posted a few times.😸 I hope you are finding this place is a warm & safe place to talk.

My very best,

mmMekitty

[lived_perspective]

Hey there lil quirky. I'm new too. It's nice to meet you.

I was wondering if you have heard of QLife? They are an LGBTQIA+ organisation that provides peer support and counselling via phone or webchat between 3pm - Midnight everyday. Peer support means queer folk like uswho understand what you are going through because they have been through it themselves too and now help others to feel safe to work their way through the confusion.

They have training in non-clinical supports and can refer you to LGBTQIA+ and gender affirming mental health supports if you feel you need something more specific, or they can just be handy to chat to when life feels overwhelming.

Get Help (qlife.org.au)

Nice to meet you. I hope you find many friends and safe people here 🙂

[mmMekitty]

Hello thelivedperspective, & welcome to these forums.

It's great to meet you, too. 😺

I hope you find within this place, somewhere where you feel comfortable & any support you need, & please, feel free to explore & ask questions, make your own threads, one to introduce yourself would be great way to meet other members.

QLife is a great idea - don't know why I didn't think of it... thank you for mentioning this organisation to lil quirky. 😺

Warmly,

mmMekitty