LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[Only_I_know]

thanks Craig. You're brave even going and paying for it. Was this the trip to Thailand you mentioned in a post a few weeks ago? It's not actually a bad idea, I think get the first time over and done with so the next isn't quite as awkward. And you are right, the nerves, I do worry that I'll have trouble performing!!

I wont rush, I've waited 47.5 years already to experience being with a guy, so what is another few months or a year? I think though that we're destined to be hurt, we've been in long term relationships and have forgotten what to do on a date etc. It hurt when you broke up as a kid, I imagine that it'll be worse as a mature adult. Just gotta try to be realistic and go into everything eyes wide open.

The guy you refer to that shunned you, has he been out most of his life? I'm finding that gay men that have been out for a long time, are quite different to myself - it could be that they are comfortable with themselves and we're not, but it's almost like they are different to us again.

I sort of wish I could find someone like me, that has only recently come out of a long relationship, that hasn't experienced being with another guy, and we can learn together. I think we'd less likely to hurt each other, and be more compassionate and understanding.

Maybe a pipe dream, but we'll see!

talk soon

Daz

[C4]

Hi Darren yes it is as the holiday this year and whilst it was ok I didn’t really get what I wanted which was intimacy . I thought that it would make things easier but in fact it hasn’t I feel more uncomfortable in my own skin than ever. I know I have attraction to me but don’t know what it means for me I’m so lost at the moment I don’t know what I want . All I know is that I want to be happy but don’t know what that is . I find that gay guys that haven’t been with a woman don’t quite understand and yes the guy I know has been out all his life so I feel as though I don’t fit in it’s so depressing it’s taking its toll on me mentally. I too wish I could meet someone that’s in the same boat as me it would be easier to deal with it better. Hope your day has been ok mate talk soon Craig

[Only_I_know]

mate, I guess I haven't had to think too much about any of it yet. It does bother me for when I move out, but as I've said I have good mates, the 2 gay husbands that are my friends actually only live 10min walk from my new place, and they are really good to me, keep checking in to make sure i'm okay. I'll end up having dinner with them regularly, at mine and at their places. I'll just bide my time with the intimacy thing, if it doesn't happen for a while then so be it. I'm not going to rush, theres so much I've got to learn.

Daz

[marcus_c]

Hi EuskoTren, sounds like you've had a really bad time of it and are pretty angry right now. Do you want to try giving us a go before you leave? I'm gay and I don't think I'm nasty... maybe boring and depressing sometimes 😛 . What's been happening?

[Only_I_know]

Well said Marcus,

me too (being gay) and I'm not nasty either. And I can vouch for people here on this site, only received a great deal of support and kindness, especially the early days of me coming out - and from people like your good self. I was saved by some people like you.

EuskoTren, if you need people to talk to, then here is a great place.

[Just Sara]

I really want to thank you guys; Eusko Tren was obviously a very troubled young man. Having people to greet him (and souls like him) with such big hearts is what this site's all about. Thankyou for being here and sharing your time...

Kind thoughts;

Sez x

[Wooboy]

Hi

i came out as Gay earlier this year , i am 48 years of age was married fir 27 years have 3 sons all aged over 28 now , i have known all my life i was gay but back when i was growing up it was taboo to gay soni married , it was more like a friendship than marriage , after coming out everybody blamed me for it, my family dont acknowledge me , also i have list my dad in the past 2 years he always said i was gay , my mum is ok with it but wont ring or talk to me and my sister has completley disowned me , my sons have accepted it,thus was my biggest worry

i have now got a male partner who i love dearly but i am having so many low days i feel its just not worth being here. i have tried before to committ suicide , and now my urge is getting stronger by the day , i do work tjis helps a bit , thanks for reading but you need to hear my problems i should never have come on here .

[Only_I_know]

Hey Wooboy

It's okay to come here and post, ask questions. That's what its for. There are a heap of people who have gone through similar things.

I'm 47, and came out to my wife 4 months ago after 20 years, 2 kids. I too came close to suicide, if it hadn't been for the kindness of strangers to stop and ask if they cojld gelp.

This is a safe place to talk if you need it. We will offer support wherever we can.

If you are feeling really down, you should call beyond blue 1300 22 4636, its anonymous, they are there to help and listen. Don't go if alone.

Have you told your partner how you feel? How will he feel if he found out you were feeling blue but wasn't given the opportunity to help?

Same for your sons, they clearly love and care for you. Don't allow negative people to create a toxic environment for you. I know it is hard, I still have dark thoughts some days, I'm struggling with knowing I'm soon moving out of the family home.

If you are up to it, keep chatting to us here. It's helped me deal with my issues. People are happy to listen.

Cheers Darren

[C4]

To all the newbies on here it’s ok to post your feelings people are here to help with kind words of encouragement especially Darren he’s the best . I’m doing ok guys in case you were wondering I’m in a good head space atm trying to work through things . It was RUOK day yesterday and I can say that I was so please keep posting. To all the guys on Darren’s post I’m thinking of you all ok .

[Lushwildfire]

I have a question. i'm very confused at the moment about my sexuality and idk why, it came out of nowhere i always considered myself straight but out of nowhere i started wondering what if i'm bi? and then i started sort of liking the idea of being with a girl as well as a boy, though i seem to be more comfortable with boys. i'm so confused i suddenly consider it an option to be bi. i'm definitley into guys, but i'm very confused if i'm into girls. do you think i'm bi, or not? btw, i'm 14 years old and female.