LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[kanga_brumby]

I have attended pride march as a supporter of people with different abilities. Not saying the straight community has it right or wrong, also not saying the queer community has it right. It's what ever floats your boat and does not hurt others is the answer. If your consenting adults then all should be fair when one side says it's our way only. Then we all loose the diversity. The argument has been raging for at least three thousand years. Often the straight community turns to the churches to give them the answers. In the past a lot of churches got it wrong and did the wrong thing then. Covering it up and all. Now they have a chance to get it right in one hit. It doesn't mean forgiveness for past sins. It is a good start though. We all should learn forgiveness and start with ourselves. Forgive ourselves for what ever we have done to ourselves and to others. With this post voting I am on the yes vote. My crystal ball says because Camberra got involved dragged it out for so long it is doomed to fail thanks Mr prim minister. Another agenda stuff up

Kanga

[MsPurple]

Thanks Kanga for your support. It is really good to here our straight ally have our backs. I think love is love. And we should not stop others happiness if it doesn't affect us or hurt anyone else. I am hoping the opinion polls are wrong and that majority vote yes. I am disappointed it is a postal vote because some people may not send their forums back. It think it would be better if it was an online vote however we did see the census fail

[Lonelydan]

Hey Kanga, Your such a legend mate, personally I don't care what the church thinks of gay marriage. I'm not wanting or needing there blessings or approval for my possible future marriage. What we want is legal recognition our human rights. I want religious people to remain with there churches, makes me feel safe there not out there. Danny....

[kanga_brumby]

It's the politicians who keep it in the media that will harpoon the hole thing dragging it out for as long as possible saying we have to change this or that. It should have been done and dusted off years ago. The longer it takes the less chance there is of getting through. We still have to vote and vote for human rights that covers gay, bi, l, TG, cross dressing, different abilities ( Who I support every time I have been in a pride march, as a personal carer and a person with a conscience who wants to sleep well at night)

[Just Sara]

Hi Danny my sweet;

Thankyou for your heartfelt and encouraging words. Our lives have been fraught with indecency, pain, violence and helplessness for sure. But it's also been filled with love, children, honourable intent and wisdom born of that pain.

People in general, aren't taught how to be parents or good citizens except thru their own experiences and observations. We do the best we can despite our past. I'm proud of my son, his insight and natural wisdom, his work ethic and ability to bounce back. (He got that from me)

I dare say your daughter's an inspiration to you too and a beautiful reflection of your insight and love. Life's tough damn it! But our strength of character isn't from being abused, it's from overcoming that adversity and growing from it instead of withering away. That's what we pass on to our kids. They learn by our example and that's a credit to us both.

Love you much...

Sez Connor xoxo

[Just Sara]

As for voting, it's our duty as citizens because politically speaking, we have an obligation to exercise our right to vote and have a say in how this country's run.

Some might call it a conscience vote, some may use it as a platform to promote their 'beliefs', but at the end of the day it's about ALL people having a legal right to marry. Not a right to enter my bedroom and form an opinion about me or what's best for me and my child. (Or their child)

Do people take into account, a convicted paedophile of multiple offences can still marry and have children? WTF!!!

How about we have a plebiscite on that!? The only people voting yes would be those bastards! Would the Human Rights Commission be up in arms? I think not.

And what about female circumcision? Does anyone even care? The brutality of this mutilation of the female form isn't even discussed, or if it is, do we hear about it? What would be the outcome of a vote for this disgusting practice?

This vote is about equality for consenting adults to legally marry and have the same legal rights/opportunities as heterosexual partners; that's all. It doesn't hurt anyone else or themselves.

Now I've gone and made myself angry. My measuring stick of community right and wrong has always been about the big picture; an holistic overview of outcomes and whether or not they're harmful.

If you see a man and woman standing at the alter exchanging rings, do you ask yourself if they're good people? If you were to see two men standing there instead, would you also ask the same question? What would you ask????

Need a break...

Sez xo

[startingnew]

Hey guys

Not sure which thread to post on but i suppose here will do...

Ive been meaning to ask a question but have been hesitant i must admit and i wasnt sure how to word it.

But no time like the present.

Please bare with me.....

After having a convo with MsP the other day and how others 'label ' themselves as bi but are many forms for example some are just sexually attracted to the same sex but arent wanting a long term relationship....

Now heres my predicament...

I identify myself as Bisexual but would this still be the case if while im comfortable and interested in both genders and not just sexually i mean for the long haul but i would prefer a male (im female btw)

Would being comfortable and interested in both but gravitating towards male still be classed as Bi?

This is probably making no sense whatsoever so if its not clear please do say something.

[MsPurple]

HI startingnew. And good question. Sexuality isn't black and white there are many shades of grey in there. Now you can be bisexual and be smack bang in the middle of the kinsey scale (if you haven't heard of this scale I suggest googling it, really helpful) meaning 50% gay and 50% straight. You could be bi and be 30% gay 70% straight. You could be bi and be 90% gay and 10% straight. At the end of the day it is how you choose to identify. My friend I was talking about on the other thread probably considers herself bicurious or straight. She wants to experience a woman but maybe not be in a relationship with them. Now she is in a long term relationship (pretty much engaged) so that's why she is more on the bicurious/straight end for her identity.

With identity and labels you can choose which one you prefer and which one you are more comfortable with. You may only tell a handful of people you are bi and the rest assume you are straight. Either way your feelings about other people and your attraction to both genders is still the same. You are still you. (e.g. it is like if I live in Brisbane in summer and have friends up here & I fake tan. They only see me as tanned, with darker skin. But if I lived in Melbourne in winter and don't fake tan, my friends will see me as white as snow. I am still the same person, but people know me in a slightly different way. Ok probably a terrible example but the best I could think of on the spot.).

Now some people maybe only attracted to one gender sexually and not romantically. This means they may want to have a sexual experience with them, but do not see themselves in a long term relationship or marriage/defacto kinda way. That is ok too. Now you can identify your self as gay, lesbian, straight or bi in this example. (some gay people still experience heterosexual sex but identify as gay for example). You may see yourself as ending up with one gender long term over the other. That is ok too. I sometimes think I will most likely end up with a man long term, but I am still opening myself up to women as I am sexually and romantically attracted to them.

Now I choose to identify as bisexual in myself (as said previous I am not FB open or anything, but tell people as I see fit) because when I said I was straight I felt like I was lying to myself. I didn't want to hate myself anymore and I felt like being open and honest with myself helped me deal with this.

Does this help? I know its not a definite answer. Be you is the main point

[startingnew]

hi MsP

thank you for your response

i will get to here, just abit busy atm but i wanted to thank you for responding

[Starwolf]

I'll be voting yes...though I don't do sexuality (haven't done for some 30 odd years). But I believe freedom to be who/what we want (as long as it is harmless to others) and love who we want is a birthright.

So to me, this has to do with more than sexual preferences. I consider myself asexual. People have assumed this is due to the fact I suffered sexual abuse in my youth. Nothing could be further from the truth. As a matter of fact, 2 of the guys who gang raped me got together to "show me what I was missing out on" (!) as I had previously turned down their advances as well as others'. That was in the early 70s, when the "make love not war, sex & drugs & rock'n roll" culture was in full swing. I was shocked at the time that not being interested was considered more offensive than having preferences.

I can experience sexual pleasure with both men and women, just could never figure what the hullabaloo was about these fleeting moments of pleasure. I could always think of a thousand more satisfying things to do.

I totally agree with Sara that many laws don't make sense. If they did, people wouldn't be so intent on flouting them. There's so much legalized cruelty going on, double standards and other anomalies !

This is a strange world...