Dear Scotty,
Communication. That's the only point of a health "professional". Take it or leave it. Do you think the health "professional" is honest ? [cue scary music].
As the inventor of the wonder therapy "burnt pav" you definately have capabilities far beyond most of us. Your over thinking comment on the NEED OPTIONS thread by Pandora's Paradox seems to apply to yourself when hyper anxious. I don't mean to sound simplistic but you have some great qualities and, as I've known you for 18 months at least, I'd say you are a good guy. Or even a good gay guy.
Someone mentioned the other day that "guilt" is the biggest emotional downer. And with "guilt" comes "punishment" otherwise you wouldn't feel so bad as you know the consequence. Mumbo jumbo, maybe, but getting hurt in relationships is a good thing in the scheme of showing your loved some so much that you became incredibly self aware and vulnerable. But, obviously, a bad thing if your reality is tested and everything goes pear shape. Where's the balance ? Love is cruel ?
You've been through stages when you couldn't even leave the house and now, here you are, shacking up with internet gay lovers and living moments of happiness. And, in true "burnt pav" humour fashion, you can always turn your jumper or jacket inside out so that your heart can be both masked and then worn proudly. I'd be interested to know if the concept of a reversible jacket was fathomed by someone with bipolar or schizophrenia. Lol.
So what if you are "the stereotypical screwed up gay" ? Why hold back ? Remember those times when responders would write back to you with "Dear TC" because they didn't realise it meant "Take Care" ? Funny, hey ? They actually thought it was your name ! Ha ! The old psychology of projecting your own thoughts maybe means that all this venting,etc, is just another way of saying to yourself "Take Care". But if you're not open who can come into your life and share the "burnt pav" ? I'll have a large bowl.
"Burnt pav" might help me with all the "let's make out" night time stuff that is interrupted by "important mobile calls" (11pm ?). Have we really reached the point in society where too much contact (by phone) can kill any real physical contact in the bedroom ? This is the problem with having elderly in laws who are dying and needing emergency hospital trips at 2am. In the end the phone is left on for emergencies and sex has to be slotted in, so to speak.
Maybe once a week we should put our mobiles and computers down the toilet. Sorry, bit of a tangent, but we have been obtuse before. Just not sexually.
Adios, David.
