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Not sure

Community Member

Where do I start off..... I am 35 gay and been with my partner (who loves me unconditionally) for 10 years ...Some times feels like 100 years. We don't fight much or should I say that he doesn't, even thought I can get angry,tired or I guess depressed and  just want to be left alone, or so I feel at times. I have a good job/boss/parents/family and a few good friends (that I have not just pushed away).

I like many before me have thought/planned/attempted suicide. I don't know exactly why, but sometimes I feel that it would end the feeling this way.

 My cousin took his life a few weeks ago, it shocked us all...leaving us asking ourselves heaps of questions.... mainly why. He had a great wife, new house, great job, great boss, loving family and great mates.

This has left me lost and pissed off at the same time and makes me question myself more both in a good and bad way.

I really don't want to speak with my partner/family/friends and don't have a regular GP and just wanted to see how others have found help (without having religion preached until I go blue)

Thanks all

6 Replies 6

Community Member

Dear coastie,

Having someone say "It wasnt' your fault" seems a bit lame but the need to control everything sometimes puts impossible situations right in our face.   I went to a funeral with suicide problems and the whole church just felt helpless.   When the little kids got up to speak it was just too much.  Maybe we never get over these things.

If your partner had a relative pass the same way do you think he'd cut you out or desire some empathy ?    Communication is all we've got.  Why blunt it ?

Adios, David.

Community Member

Hi Coastie,

 Suicide is just urgh. I don't think people realize how much it hurts the people they love. My cousin committed suicide and the other one nearly did aswell. He will soon we fear. 

 I found help through myself. I always find i can talk to myself and be strong within myself. Be alone with yourself is healthy, become your own friend and you will love others. You have a loving partner and you live a nice life. Don't ruin other peoples lives by thinking they don't love you.

Churches are ew. Religion is ew for me. So just find people, real human beings like myself who just are there. They don't want to stick around, they will flake, but for the brief moment they connect with you, then they're gone. A true friend is someone who can touch your life in an instant and then be gone leaving a great memory and impression on your life. I flake on people. But i hope i touched them in some way during our brief friendships. I'm sure they'll be able to remember some funny moments.

 P.s being gay is the new cool thing. Why would you want to go and ruin that πŸ˜‰

 Muchos Lovos


Community Member

I can relate to your most of your post here, Mr J! 

But I do have frequent thoughts of suicide & the urge to self harm due to extreme distress from past traumatic experiences!


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Coastie, this is an interesting post to follow.

It doesn't matter one bit that you are gay, that's your decision and no one has any right to chastise you, each to their own.

I am the same as Mr. J religion is ew, and anybody is entitled to their own way of life.

Why don't you google 'Reachout.com' or google this 'places for gay people to talk in aus. there are many places for you to contact and one thing leads to another.

People attempt suicide because of depression all their problems add up to boiling point, and it's at this stage is when we need help and support, but this means that there is someone we can contact, a split second is crucial and that's all it takes to end our life, so we should have a list of a few people we can contact, and it has to be written done where we can find it, and again we are only talking about 1/4 of a second, and we have to talk to ourselves to ring person A , lifeline or person K.

Maybe we can also write down who will be left to cope with this tragedy, the people we love so much, this may then shock you into not going ahead with it.

These are the people that we hug, kiss and cuddle, those so important to us and vice-versa. Geoff.

Community Member
Geoff I wish everyone had your attitude, they don't though some people care that you are, starts at school form of bullying, and leads to adult life at the workplace little digs. This is they key though, to not let it effect you. "SOME" people even compare gay people to murderers and prostitutes ,  I mean really?. Bubbles003 I know this stuff sticks with you I would rather prefer someone hit me physically, mentally its always there, not that you think about it daily, but it's there in the deep. It's awful having to walk about trying to not let people see your weakness, in-case its used against you. Why cant people just let people be them?, simple. I hope we can get the gay marriage thing done, and then we can all have equal footing in the world.

Dear Scotty,

You are so right !  And the anti gay thing is an epidemic.  Even with gay marriage being an election issue (or is it an erection issue ?  my bad)  there was a letter in the Sydney Morning Herald poking fun of it in a psuedo intellectual way.  It read something like this:  "Why shouldn't the gays suffer the trauma of marriage too ?".   Just a few things were worth considering for me:

(1)  Doesn't this negate the existing and real gay relationships ?

(2)   When you get married there is no law that you have to tell anyone.

(3)  If you have to label marriage as "suffering" what does that say about your own marriage ?

(4)  Maybe gay divorce will be less statistically than the supposed norm ?  Then what a threat to Western Civilisation there will be !  (i.e. as a proportion).

(5) There are 160,000 children cared for by gay couples in the States alone.  I don't think long term relationship (and "committed" sound too much like mental illness or that something is wrong with you) are exactly a new invention by hetro's.

Considering we have that other marriage behaviour where people marry "objects" I don't see why gay marriage gets the bad wrap.   To look at the Bible Eve was made by God taking a rib from Adam and creating a life partner.   Sounds like a gay marriage to me.   Isn't the funeral passage "From dust to dust" not "From dust, except gay people, to dust".    Sorry, I've torn an intercoastal muscle from a near car hit yesterday and must apply copious amounts of Deep Heat and panadol.  If a rib falls out in the process I shall make a Politician in the image of Liberace.   The overtly gay seem to have marched forward for all. Super hero capes and all.

Adios, David.

PS  Scotty, my man - at least by the time gay marriage is a reality we would have, as a society, got passed treating partners as goods and chatels or trading a good partner prospect for 20 camels.  In theory, I don't know how they do things in Adelaide.