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Hi there, wanna chat?

CJ_bi
Community Member

Hello whoever may be reading this,

I thought I would start this thread because I wanted to talk to someone in general. I have also been having troubles figuring out whether I am bisexual or gay. I have faked crushes on boys to make me look more straight and I have had real crushes on girls, but I have actually had 1 proper crush on a boy.

Any thoughts? I would appreciate anyone to talk to...

6 Replies 6

Lyndis
Community Member

Hi, CJ!

I'd be happy to talk to a fellow bisexual! It's a little known thing, but there is actually a sexuality for what you're talking about. It's called "Omnisexuality", it refers to someone who is considered bisexual but has a preference on what gender they'd rather date.

CJ_bi
Community Member

Hi Lyndis!

Thanks a lot for replying! I didn't know about this Omnisexuality. Btw I am pan but I find it easier to just say bi because I think their so similar and it's easier to explain. I can't wait to talk 😄 If there's anything you need to talk about then let me know!

Unbeliever
Community Member

I gave this quite a lot of thought some time ago...

When I think about it logically, bisexual people are (in the main) the only people that can really claim to "care more about what is on the inside, than what is on the outside" without being hypocrites.

And while I am not one of those people who thinks that the physical is completely irrelevant and doesn't matter at all because it is only what is on the inside that counts when pursuing a sexual relationship that matter. I do think that WHO a person is as a person IS much more important than what they look like overall. Especially regarding anything long term.

However, if I wont even consider someone as an individual or care who they are as a person as a potential intimate partner simply because they don't possess a specific set of genitalia... then that does kind of make me a hypocrite. Doesn't it! Because in that case I DO care more about what is on the outside than what is on the inside.

Bear in mind... I believe everything I have written about fully and without doubt AND YET I am still hetrosexual regardless. As I really don't find men to be attractive at all despite my unique perspective on things. Although in my defense I have rarely really liked men's personalities in general very appealing which is why I only really ever had 4 male friends in my life but have had about 50 close female friends. So that could possibly explain it.

Regardless, I still kind of feel like a hypocrite for claiming "the inside is more important" and yet never actually ever considered any men as being potentially viable as an intimate pursuit in the slighest.

But logically, bisexuality has always made much more sense to me than any of the other options available because it is the individual that exists inside the physical that I have always fallen in love with... not the flesh itself.

CalmCat
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi CJ_bi,

Thank you for sharing something so personal!

I know may people that have come out as bisexual then came out as gay in their later life.

Just enjoy life and love the people you love, I can assure you life will be kind to you if you follow your heart.

Let us know on any updates.

Regards,

CC

Guest_4643
Community Member

Hey CJ_bi, welcome. I'll talk to you if you wish?

It's ok to be unsure of your sexuality, I hope that you can find what feels right for you and be happy regardless.

CJ_bi
Community Member

Thanks, everyone for the replies!

I appreciate the support. Update, my crush (female) told me that they like me back, they are gay but haven't come out to anyone yet... I'm lost on what to do. Any suggestions?