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Why do I suddenly hate the thought of being around people?

Community Member

I’m a year 12 student and throughout my entire schooling life, I’ve been a very social person, I’ve had many friends and I’ve always enjoyed the idea of talking to people and going out with friends, but this past year the thought of even talking to people in my class makes me so upset and angry. I get very emotionally even thinking that I have to talk to them and I don’t know why this has suddenly happened?

I do have a boyfriend and at the moment, he is the only person I like to talk to in my entire school. He will often bring up an idea of going out with friends on the weekend or after school or even just sitting around with others at lunch, which before I would be so happy to do and I would always say yes, but now I get so upset that I pretty much almost cry at the thought of it, and I don’t know why? I even get angry at the thought of having to be near my best friend..

i dont know what to do about this, I’m not sure if I’ve developed some sort of social anxiety or if I’ve just developed hatred for my friends..

If you have any tips, please share with me! I need guidance..

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Belle, a warm welcome to the forums.

From what you have told us it does seem as though it's something that is struggling you to the extent of not wanting to be around your friends, which could mean that you have social anxiety, which I can't diagnose you, it's just a suggestion, but a doctor can help you.

There are a few ideas for you to think about and I'll put them down not as a point form, because if I do this then the reply will be held back until the moderators check it, but in a sentence.

Do you feel comfortable talking to the school counsellor, talk with your parents who may then take you to their doctor, or contact these: Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800, Reachout.com, or Headspace 1800 650 890, these are people who don't dress up with a tie and suit, but casual clothes and are trained.

Hope to hear back from you when it's possible.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi belle1419 and welcome to the forum!

Being conscious of changes in our thinking and/or behaviour is the first and most important step toward managing them. So, you're on the right path!

Could be a number of reasons as to why things have changed for you. To name a few:

  • You may be outgrowing certain people. If you feel that the folk who surround you are a little immature, it just means you're evolving at a slightly faster rate and are developing a desire for greater mental or social stimulation. For example, if a lot of them are gossipers, harsh critics of others or heavy drinkers you may have come to find these traits as destructive as opposed to constructive (wanting to move beyond them)
  • Could be mental health related; hard to say. I know it may sound like fairly typical advice but would you consider meeting with your school counselor when it comes to finding the best way forward? Keep in mind that mental health isn't just about tackling thoughts, it can also be about chemistry. There could very well be some chemistry playing with your brain. For example, when oxytocin (aka 'the bonding hormone') is not at optimum levels this can impact the relationships we have with those around us
  • Another thing to address may come down to what being in year 12 means to you. Being the final year of official school life, you could be going through a transition you're not fully aware of. Getting a bit deep now but it could be possible you're beginning to let go in some way, as you move toward a new stage of life. By the way, it's fairly typical that when we're going through major transitions, we also go through major shifts in identity. Identity pretty much comes down to how we identify with life whilst referencing the beliefs we've grown up with. There will be some beliefs we need to let go of before we can move on

Whether your feelings relate to your thoughts, your chemistry or your vision of the future, the next best step may involve talking with a mental health professional so as to receive guidance. Starting with the school counselor is possibly the best way to go. If this isn't your cup of tea, have a chat with your GP in regard to a referral. Guidance is key in navigating unfamiliar territory.

Take care belle