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Twice the loss

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
I was pregnant and lost my baby. Then two weeks later my partner left. I don't even know how I've held it together since. I don't have anyone. I am estranged from my family and I don't have any friends or a job, because I have bad anxiety. It was my anxiety that drove my partner away. I don't even blame him. But I'm just so sick of being alone. I literally feel sick from loneliness.
20 Replies 20

Thanks for the hugs. I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday. Right now I'm just feeling really teary and want some company 😞 I don't know if there's a spot for that. So i'll post here and maybe someone might feel like saying hi.

Hello Katy..

Im deeply sorry about about everything that has happened to you....my heart goes out to you lovely lady...

I live alone in a tiny village nearly 400 kilometres from my three sons...I hear from on occasionally...one when he needs me..the other never...it does at times get so overwhelming the loneliness of my daily life...I’m elderly and on dsp and only one friend in my village of 200 people..

I do voluntarily work once a week...it’s the only day I go out really...my anxiety keeps me at home mostly...

anyway I came in to say hello and hope your doing okay...and would love to help try to support you..if that’s okay...

Kind thoughts...with love and hugs.

Grandy..

Hey Grandy 🙂 Thanks for the love, hugs and company. It does indeed get overwhelming sometimes this being alone. I'm glad you understand. I've thought about volunteer work, but I'm scared to commit in case my anxiety means I can't get myself there. So good on you for managing that. That's pretty great. I've been trying to exercise to make sure I get out of the house once a day or I think I'd go mad. Sometimes I have to really try find the motivation though, which is hard when I'm so down at the moment. Thanks for saying hi. It's brightened my day. Love and hugs back at you, Katy

Hello Katy..🤗..

When I first started volunteering..I was more not attending then attending because of my anxiety..I had a melt down at work not long after I started and I told him of my mh struggles..he was very understand told me to come in when I’m feeling able to...The girls I work with on my day also know and it’s made it so much more easier to get into work..

I tried to go outside and walk daily but I couldn’t manage it and fell apart on one of the walks..so I can’t do them anymore..I try hard to do inside some type of exercise but mostly it’s wake up and lounge all day...which I know isn’t good but my motivation is non existent most days....

I am pleased your going to see your gp on Thursday..please Katy if you can..try hard to tell your gp..exactly how your feeling and thinking..That way your gp can help you in the best way possible with your mh...That’s really important..if you you find it to hard or stressful to speak openly about you mh..just maybe show your gp..your posts here....or write down your feelings and thoughts on a piece of paper and give it to your gp...

Im about to go to my volunteer job now..it’s takes a while to get their as it’s in the next town...and country roads are not that great to drive along... and we share the roads with kangaroos.. 🦘

I hope today is a better day then yesterday Lovely Katy...please try hard to do something nice for you today..

Kind thoughts dear lady..with love and hugs..🤗💜..

Grandy..

Katyonthehamsterwheel
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Feel like I should feel better. But I feel very very not better. Having more tears and more bad thoughts with each passing day.

Hello Katy..🤗..

Awe sweetheart I’m sorry your feeling very very not better..

Katy..it’s hard to do I know,..but is there a way you can destruct your negative thoughts in some way...Do you play internet games at all...I do play a few..mails mind challenging ones..like jigsaws, word games etc...Even if it can distract you from your bad thoughts and tears for a little while it gives your mind a little rest...

Deep breathing is another good distraction when you count in for 5 hold for 4 then out for 5...

Monday my doctor asked me to download the app called “Virtual Hope”..it has a few different ways to help settle anxiety.....I have a thread on here called..”Grounding What is it and how do we”..it has many ways to help ground ourselves quickly when we’re overly anxious.....

Here if you need/ feel to talk...

Kind thoughts..with love and hugs..💜🤗.

Grandy..

Thanks Grandy, you're lovely and I appreciate your support. I did try taking some deep breaths today. Just keep swimming I guess. I hope your day has been a good one x

Katy (hugs back at you)

Hello Katy..

How are you feeling lovely lady?..

I agree that we have to keep swimming and trying to help ourselves as the meds and psychologist are just their to guide us the best way they can...

Motivation to do anything is really hard when we’re feeling down..but even just baby steps are a big achievement...

Do you have any hobbies or things that you used to like before your mh became hard to manage?...or any pets?..

I have two little dogs and they are all I see and talk to for 6 days a week...I love them but sometimes they just can’t take my loneliness away....Like having close friends do..

Thank you for your beautiful post at mine..I appreciated the hugs back...and also appreciate you and your words so much...You have a beautiful soul..which shines through your words...Please Katy don’t let anyone make you think any different...

Some people can hurt us deeply through their words and actions toward us...Try hard not to believe them..because they are lies they tell us..to try to control and manipulate us...It’s the only way they know...but it’s so wrong..

Believe in yourself Katy...I can see through your posts that your a very kind compassionate person..Your helping people here on the forums..and that gold Lovely Katy..

I hope today has been a good day for you..

I hope you have a restful sleep tonight with beautiful dreams...

Love and hugs..💜🤗..Kind thoughts..

Grandy...

Dear Katy,

i also am so sorry that you have had this terrible loss and then your partner being so awful.

You have been given some excellent advice by some wise people. You are also doing the right things in seeing your GP and keeping in touch with her. You need to keep yourself safe.

The loss of a child at any stage of a pregnancy is a truly unique and terrible sadness. You have also lost hope and a future that you had thought about with your child. My thoughts go out to you.

The loss of your relationship is another blow. And to find he is seeing someone else so quickly is very distressing for you, but it tells you about the quality of person he is. but that doesn’t stop it being sad.

Anxiety is awful. I have had depression since I was a young woman, but only had anxiety in the last four years. It is frightening and leaves me exhausted and shattered. It is really important that you talk to your doctor about the symptoms you experience and follow advice as best you can. You have also been given good advice here. Exercise is very good, I also think getting enough rest and eating well are important. You need to take care of yourself.do small things that nurture yourself. One little thing each day if you can.

loneliness is distressing and a trap, because , well for me, I have made it worse by isolating myself, it becomes a trap. I make promises to myself often to change, but I don’t, but just keeping in touch with one person does help.

please keep posting here if it helps, you will find it very supportive

tess

hi Grandy

Thanks for your reply. I took your advice and told my GP how I was feeling. My thoughts about doing something bad have gone from scary to background noise, but they are still there. She has asked me to check in with her again in 2 weeks. I wish I could see my psychologist for a good long talk but I can't see her for another month yet. It's hard not having anyone to talk to. Like you I have a dog and she's great company, but she can't talk and I still feel lonely. Most days I don't have any human contact. I also don't enjoy doing anything at the moment, so the days feel long and painful and filled with horrible useless thoughts. I just want my baby back. But that's the most useless thought of all. Sorry I don't have anything cheerful to say Grandy. Feeling right down in the dumps.