Trauma and anxiety marriage/ kids/ court

[JayCee28]

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode 

I’m so upset with myself, forgetting things that would defend me in the way I was treated for over a decade.

Now everything is just playing over in my head, all the things he has done, and is still doing .

I wont get another chance to let them hear my side, I’m just disappointed in the way it went.

Aside from having SPR and dealing with child’s side of everything, I have put off my need for help throughout this all, I do need help.

It’s such a big job being mum and dad when child doesn’t want contact with dad.

I’m so busy rushing around to and from appointments for child and home life I barely have time for me .

Im just disappointed with myself and anxious that ( I cried ) and didn’t get my point across, what I needed to say.

Over a decade condensed in to an hr for the report I couldn’t do it, it was too much, hearing what he was saying about me and the trauma I’m left with.

For me it’s a sad day 😕

[Scared]

Start writing it all down in a journal.  Highlight in coloured pen the points you need to make clear.  No its never too late for this journal.  Also writing can help you get some distance from your problems. 

[JayCee28]

Thank you

I have been writing things down, I didn’t expect the report writer to be so focussed on the negative things my ex is making up about me.

i thought it was supposed to be focused on the child.

I was definitely re traumatised by it all

[Scared]

Yes i understand.  But its a sad fact that mud slinging is required.   You are supposed to show why you are the better parent by showing their faults.  You are 100% right that its about the child and doing these reports is a dirty business.   Lesson learned so next time you will be better prepared.