Trapped

[Basil2016]

My husband has feelings for a girl 17 years younger then him. She is 20. It started as a friendship and the moved to more. He tells me he knows it's not fair, but will not stop supporting her and being her friend, and that is all it will be. He asked for a seperation and says he wants to work on us for the kids. I asked for him to leave, he will not. And tells me I'm a narcissist and hateful because I'm angry at him and not nice to her. 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I understand this is an incredibly difficult situation for you - feeling hurt and betrayal are completely valid.

I have been seeing a psychologist for a while, and one thing that keeps coming back to me, is that I cannot control other people and what they do.  There are some in my family whose behaviours I would like to change but cannot.

I have to say that I don't quite understand wanting a separation and not leaving and then working on "us" (as you put it). Perhaps suggest counseling to work through things in a productive way. Open, honest communication without accusations may help reveal the true issues. And from there work out some way forward?

This will take time and patience, but your wellbeing and family are what matter most. Listening if you want to chat some more.